What drives you mad about MNers?

[omafiet]

I woke up grumpy today and reading some posts is making me grumpier. Perhaps I'm turning into a curmudgeon. But sometimes I read posts and think "Good grief, woman, you don't help yourself, do you?"

The gems that seem to pop up with alarming regularity: "We live rurally and I don't drive" in a post complaining of a lack of access to, well, anything really.

Or: "We don't have any family close by to babysit so DH and I haven't been out on our own since 2004." Do what we all do then and pay for a babysitter!

Ugh. This heat is making me grouchy. Anything make you want to shake another MNer?

A woman posts about an unwanted pregnancy - gets sympathy, support and advice.

A man posts about an unwanted pregnancy - "you chose to have sex, no contraception is 100%, what do you not understand about that".

Woman posts about her absolute cock of a partner and somebody will come along and tell her how their dh is amazing, does more than 50% of the childcare while working a 70 hour week and sends her on spa weekends twice a month "not because he's amazing, because that's what real men do". Cheers, bet the OP feels even better about her situation now.

Overuse of the term "gaslighting" - don't couples just have a row anymore.

This is the first time in 15 years that dh and I can afford a holiday and we really want to go to to X but instead we are going to Y with all of dh's family because MIL wants a big family holiday. I'm in tears packing, DH said we should do our own thing but I just know MIL would make me out to be the baddie if we refused - GROW A BACKBONE! Just say No. People's need to be liked makes for a miserable life.

Virtue signallers. Who berate a perfectly reasonable op for not giving a random nutter on the spot counselling or keys to their car like they would because they are just so kind

Oh, yes, 'do the kind thing' - because people are mighty free and easy with other peoples' property, time and money. The top prize for this goes to person who told an OP who'd inherited a house to give to the sitting tenants because it's 'the kind thing' to do and the nutters on a thread featuring an OP who's mentally ill and elderly mother had a homeless person using her garden shed, which he'd broken into, as a crash pad to give the bloke bedding, flasks of soup and tea, a 'welfare pack', the WiFi password, etc. Utterly hilarious and far better than the shite that makes it into classics.

Then there are the eco virtue signallers. 'We bought a patch of land in Devonshire to become self-sufficient (and have endless amounts of dosh as well to build an eco-friendly house and run their own businesses from home) with our 5 kids so why doesn't everyone be as wonderful as we are?' If you're not doing the same you're just a 'denier'.

The ones that say things like why do people like throws/cleaning/clothes because it's never about why people like material things it's about showing how next level the op is.

Oh, yy, kiki, they're all 'Go me, I am so unmaterialistic! I just don't understand how anyone can be different from me except they are just so inferior to moi with their love of clothes or throws or Ugg slippers, etc'.

Transphobia and pretty much anything posted on the "feminist" thread.

People who obviously have an "agenda" and those who use quotation marks where none are required.

"You own a car?? Well clearly you don't give a shit about the environment."

Posts where someone starts having a heated debate with another poster which details everything every 3 minutes for 14 pages.

Posters who think it's unacceptable for women to talk about women's rights (and the erosion thereof by men) on forum overwhelmingly used by women.

Totally agree with DeRiguerMortis on the last one, why do some women want to put their own needs and rights last?

Yes, women who have a gripe with feminism. Clear off, quite frankly.

People who are so incredibly lax with contraception, and then get shackled to completely feckless men, lumbering their babies (inevitably multiple) with useless fathers.

And then (also inevitably) breaking up with them, well after the damage has all been done.

By all means, have sex with waste-of-space types, but for God's sake, use rock solid contraception...

Thank you Lace

I rather enjoyed and very much agreed with your post at 00.43 also

I did a thread the other day and used a wrong term, the first 2 or 3 posts jumped on me, followed by a lot more who either used my correction as to say I was lying or just to accuse me more.

I find that is generally usual, when I ask for advice on MNs its because I have gotten to the bottom and can't figure a way out, so need a bit of a head knocking, but I don't post in AIBU for the reason, that I need a bit of support rather than being smashed over the head. I do wonder how many other people find that because they are panicky, they post, don't use the right terms, just what is familiar and then get jumped all over

"You own a car?? Well clearly you don't give a shit about the environment."

Oh, yes, you're supposed to 'just move' someplace with excellent transport links and walk or the funniest one, cycle. Doesn't matter what your circumstance. I'd like such eco warriors to start a charity offering low-cost quality housing with long-term leases (no 2 month get out clauses that mean you're never more than 2 months away from having to move) to people who cannot afford to live in places with excellent transport links so they can walk or fucking cycle everywhere.

Those who persistently puck apart tge post for use if language or grammar, especially when the poster is clearly not a native speaker, but add nothing constructive to the question.

People who can't understand financial and circumstantial differences of others (Both ways round).

Those who always know more about your situation or thoughts than you🙄🙄

OMG. I have literally just realised that thing is a bookmark due to these comments about bookmarking😱😳😳
That's now. Not an annoying topic just to confirm😱

The way that if anyone, adult or child, is behaving badly or acting like an arsehole they must be SEN, ‘on the spectrum’ or have dementia.

Was just about to make a similar point, however your post gives me something to add to my list of annoying things. It really ticks me off on here the way people refer to a child as being ASD/SEN/SN rather than having ASD/SEN/SN. A person has special needs, they aren't their condition. Saying someone is ASD makes about as much grammatical sense as saying a person is cerebral palsy.
It's even more annoying in the case of ASD because there's a perfectly good word to use, autistic.

On a similar note it grates that people use SEN and SN interchangeably, when they aren't the same thing. I get annoyed with armchair diagnosing both on here and on social media in general, especially when it comes to autism and learning disabilities. No, not every socially awkward person you meet is autistic, and just because a person is not academic or "bright" it doesn't mean they have mild learning difficulties either. Some people are just awkward and some people aren't very intelligent, it's not always a condition or a disorder.

The bizarre presumptions about and disdain to non-drivers.

The capitalist/money-obsessed contingent who think socialism = North Korea and the USSR.

The doormats and people-pleasers who are given advice on how to change their shitty situations but can’t and won’t because they won’t stop putting themselves last.

The double standards on certain topics depending on whether a woman or man posts.

Transphobia.

Also, the racism (black person starts a thread saying something is racist, several white posers respond saying it isn’t) and prejudice towards mental health. So often people post upset that a friend has fobbed them off when they’re in need and are told they’re unreasonable to dare burden anyone with their problems

Long obviously trolly threads with tons of folks giving advice. Are they blind or dumb?

I have to wonder what MNHQ are actually doing behind the scenes as so many threads these days are so spectacularly unbelievable.

Threads with the words hubby, I backspace straight away.

Similarly long and boring OP's with confusing details, Person A, Person B, Person Z. Just give the facts for fucks sake.

Late drip feed, usually SEN or similar and almost always anxiety.
Using anxiety when they probably have no idea what it is like to really have anxiety and are just a bit worried.

Am I just hard/more resilient or are a lot of people just snowflakes?
Threads about being hysterical or in floods of tears over minor perceived injustices.

The hobbies that are outing, nobody gives a fuck.

Going NC. In real life it is not always possible.

MN is a parallel universe.

The AIBUs that couldn't possibly be seen as U.

"MiL laughed at my new hairstyle, told me I looked like the jolly green giant in my nice lime-coloured jumpsuit and said my shoes didn't show my bunions to their best advantage. When she last looked after the DC she taught them to say: "Vegetables are bad; sweets are good", hooked them up to a fizzy-drink drip and sat them in front of 'The Exorcist'
AIBU to be a bit put out?"

Cosent another classic was a nutter who turned up at poor ops house and shouted at her about a voluntary activity her dh kindly ran. Some posters berated op for not inviting the selfish loon into her house, offering her dinner etc as they would have done due to their kindness. Was totally mental.

Also the annoying posters who if you suggest any alteration in lifestyle due to climate change challenge you with “well you live in a house/have a car” as if only those that live off grid under a hedge are entitled to say a word.

Very long ops annoy me but excessively long replies I just scroll past.

Hyper-sensitive types who take offense where none was intended. Over zealous comment reporters. Posters who think troll hunting is worse than trolling. All the Daily Mail writers (I won't use the term journalist) lurking amongst us.

Mainly the preciousness, but also the odd obsession with trans people. It's all getting a bit tin hat

The posters who pop into support type threads and say “ well men have that problem too “ or NAMALT.

The posters who berate other women for not putting men first in everything.

The constant admonitions to women to “be nice”.

The assumption from some that SN means autism.

Posters that advise putting stuff on burns (except cool running water)