What drives you mad about MNers?

[omafiet]

I woke up grumpy today and reading some posts is making me grumpier. Perhaps I'm turning into a curmudgeon. But sometimes I read posts and think "Good grief, woman, you don't help yourself, do you?"

The gems that seem to pop up with alarming regularity: "We live rurally and I don't drive" in a post complaining of a lack of access to, well, anything really.

Or: "We don't have any family close by to babysit so DH and I haven't been out on our own since 2004." Do what we all do then and pay for a babysitter!

Ugh. This heat is making me grouchy. Anything make you want to shake another MNer?

When someone asks for recommendations and people don’t seem to realise that people want knowledgeable advice, not a list of what they just happen to have/use.
People (more than I’d expect) who seem unable to infer from you text, so take what you’ve written extremely literally. It means you end up having to be over detailed in order to avoid causing confusion.
Brexiters who are very happy with their choice but virtually all unable to give even the vaguest details on how they’ve come to their viewpoint.

'I got my arse handed to me on a plate a few months back for using 'sn' and was told that no one had used that term for decades and it was grossly offensive. Like saying handicapped or coloured.'

I certainly wasn't aware of that! MN has a whole SN section!

I often wonder if posters take any of the shit advice on here, and the impact it has on their relationships / lives.
When my dc were a lot younger and I was a SAHM i spent quite a bit more time on here and I felt my self agreeing with the bat shit sanctimonious people on here, almost like I had been conditioned.
I am really glad I kept it all to myself though, fuck knows what would have happened if I had acted on the opinions of MN.

@TheRedBarrows I agree 100%. It's really troubling to see that happen. I often wonder how the op must feel when they read posts like that during what is clearly a very traumatic and confusing time for them.

I experienced similar when I had an issue with my dp a while back. Nothing majorly serious but I knew I would probably get a few LTB remarks. But people were in some cases mocking me for wanting to sort things and not immediately walk away. It was really upsetting an an already rubbish time. I think people forget that there are real people and relationships behind these posts, it's not a soap opera.

Any conversation about pram parking at shopping centres. Yes, I know that wasn’t available 10 years ago. Yes, I know children don’t melt if they are parked outside. No, we are not all snowflakes. but bloody hell the first couple of years of parenting are dam hard and if we can’t even support mums in the first couple of years then what it’s all about?.

The bollocks advice about burns. Toothpaste, ffs......

I certainly wasn't aware of that! MN has a whole SN section!

I know! That's what made it all the more baffling. Although this post was in chat because I don't go near the SN board because I have no experience in that area and couldn't contribute anything useful at all.

I also once said I didn't like people saying 'X is Aspergers' because it feels like you're defining them by their Aspergers and got scolded for that too. Apparently the poster 'is Aspergers' themselves and loads of people with Aspergers refer to themselves as 'being Aspergers' and how dare I tell them how they should feel.

I try so hard to be respectful but sometimes it feels like it's impossible to get it right.

Yy becky, I think some people just want to be the person who gets an op to follow tgeir advice. They don't care if they are helping a person, they don't care if the advice fits, it's all about them and not the person they are supposedly helping.

When someone posts something such as they have had a pre natal scan and it has identified something worrying with the baby or there is a high chance of ,Down syndrome ( or other conditions) poster after poster will come on to say they had they as the same thing and their child is perfectly healthy with no disabilities, which is great but not particularly helpful to he Op if their baby does have health condition ,Down syndrome etc

People who go to pieces when pregnant or have a baby; they can't work, can't cook, can't do anything, etc etc.
Or throw a wobbly when people want to come round and see the baby. But expect them to bring food!
It wouldn't have occurred to me to be so precious.

And people who never have sex. Fine, but just don't expect your marriage to last.

And the generic LTB advice, which isn't always terribly helpful or realistic.

That an overwhelming majority of posters have absolutely NO idea what "living rurally" means - it's actually been demonstrated on this thread.

Someone was saying something along the lines of "oh ffs, just call an uber if you have no public transport and you can't drive"! There are no ubers in my county... Actually I've just taken a quick look and it looks as though in Scotland uber only operates in Glasgow or Edinburgh - so that's a fair portion of Scotland not covered by uber - so approximately 85% of Scotland isn't covered. But great idea thanks!

You are also NOT rural if you have a tube station (yep, seen that one!) - and Tunbridge Wells isn't rural either.

Rural is when you're an hour's (or more) drive from Tesco and there's one bus a week - for shopping trips, not office or school hours.

There are many schools with NO out-of-hours provisions, no baby-sitting networks, no school holiday clubs or activities, no nothing.

And when people say we can afford to gone on several luxury holidays a year because holidays are very important to us and we prioritise them ,I mean if you have a low income and six kids it doesn't matter how important holidays are too you and how much you prioritise them affording them isn't that easy.

@Soola I've never seen any posts like this. I've seen a huge amount of fat shaming and fatphobic posts though.

The ones who say "twee" I'd never heard this word until I joined MN and it's so cringe.

The ones asking for baby names when their not even pregnant! " we're going to start trying in 2022 and are thinking about names" 🤔

The posts that are quite clearly from a troll but people are so gullible they start rolling off advice.

"Am I pregnant?" Well go do a test and find out!

"Line eyes please" when there's clearly no line to be seen. And it's always on a poxy Poundland strip test and I've no idea where the lines suppose to be!!

The ones who say "twee" I'd never heard this word until I joined MN and it's so cringe

Tbh I think it's more cringe you had never heard the word twee!

Mumsnetters who've had no experience of being a single, working parent or a single parent on benefits having very hard rules and ideas about benefit scroungers.

Mumsnetters who have rigid views on social housing despite having zero knowledge on it. They could just read up on local housing policy with the magical internet, then they'd be better informed rather than froth at the mouth because the upper limit to go on the housing register is 60k income in lots of places.

The sheer health/housing/social class race to the bottom. Although I do see that a lot in rl.

The worst ones for me are the women that say
“Right... just pack your bags and go to your mum” in response to women in times of major life crisis /trying to escape abusive/violent men.
It’s just a stock response regardless of whether the op has even mentioned that she HAS a mother . It’s unhelpful, especially when so many women in abusive relationships are either very isolated from their families due to the nature of abuse, or indeed have been vulnerable to abusive relationships because of generational poverty, poor role models, or lack of familial support before they entered the relationship.

Yes farm and the posters who ask which pregnancy tests other posters used to find out if they were pregnant or not,you are either pregnant or not pregnant no amount of very expensive test is going to make you more pregnant

“Right...just pack your bags and go to your mum” in response to women in times of major life crisis /trying to escape abusive/violent men.

I haven't really seen that tbh.

I tend to see more, "Pack his bags and throw them out on the driveway, then lock the door", or "Change the locks".

Yes like a lazy, drunk or violent man is just going to take being evicted on a whim, on the chin.

Oh yes! Benefit fraud. "Well I don't know anyone who'd deliberately get pregnant to get another bedroom and/or claim their child had a disability to get extra benefits".

Well no Sheila, you wouldn't. That's because you went to public school in Bucks, got a 2:i from Bristol in Performing Arts and you now live in Richmond with your investment banker husband and you have no fucking idea what's going on outside your bubble.

The ones who say "twee" I'd never heard this word until I joined MN and it's so cringe

Seriously? It's not like its a new word that people have suddenly started saying recently

I also once said I didn't like people saying 'X is Aspergers' because it feels like you're defining them by their Aspergers and got scolded for that too. Apparently the poster 'is Aspergers' themselves and loads of people with Aspergers refer to themselves as 'being Aspergers' and how dare I tell them how they should feel.

That's funny, I've never met (in real life or online) an Aspie who refers themselves as "being Aspergers."
Then again most of the autistic people I know/have known were seriously pedantic, so they'd never commit such an atrocity against the English language.
How does one be Aspergers exactly?

I got my arse handed to me on a plate a few months back for using 'sn' and was told that no one had used that term for decades and it was grossly offensive. Like saying handicapped or coloured.

Now that is bizarre, "hasn't been used for decades?" One might ask where that poster had been for the past few decades. Seriously, how could someone think that? It's not like its a phrase you don't hear used a lot.

I hate how ghoulish some posters are on certain threads, begging for updates and information under the guise of support.

@bee222 literally never heard it and I'm 35. No one I know uses it clearly.