The dumbest cooking-related mistake you ever made?

[Holliemorrisonx]

I would say cooking a chicken wrap for twice as long as I needed to and it burnt

Set fire to a pan of oil trying to do a fry up while hungover.

Made gnocchi so inedible even my dustbin DH wouldn’t eat it

Made stock from the leftover bones etc after roasting chicken pieces. Fine, except I’d roasted some lime wedges with the chicken and the resulting stock was disgustingly bitter and the soup I made with it had to be thrown away!

I’ve also done the stock down the sink thing. Sadly not with the bitter lime stock

Have made toad in the hole successfully many times. But once I didn't really brown the sausages properly. For some reason the batter did not rise. I lost my sense of humour about it and it has forever since been known as Dead Seals on a Beach'!

Tried to impress a visiting Vicar (can't remember why I was entertaining a Vicar) with a baked egg custard tart. The pastry rose to the top and all the egg custard dropped over the edge. Was a tiny bit left on the underside of the pastry. I did the whole ta dah bit taking it out of the oven when everyone was in the kitchen. Went from ta dah to eurgh in a second!

My DB and I as kids made a simnel cake and forgot to put flour in it

Made cauliflower cheese and forgot to put the cheese in my roux !!!
To be fair I had grated it but nerves got the better of me (cooking dinner for new boyfriend) !!!

He didn't say a word - I realised on my first mouthful !

*Justajot
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That's hilarious !!!

*Justajot
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That's hilarious !!!

Oh god the lime stock reminds me of the time I made soup which I stored in the fridge - most soups will keep in the fridge fine for up to a week if not longer in my experience - BUT I forgot I'd used onions in this particular soup and stuff like this with onions in can turn quite disgusting after just a couple of days, I was loaded with cold and didn't notice and served it to dd who thankfully turned a lovely shade of green just at the smell and didn't venture to taste it

Once made a really yummy chocolate cake .... using gravy granules

Made carrot cake but forgot to add the carrots.

I basically made cake. And not a nice one.

My friend unbeknownst to me put a frozen fish pie in a pan and then shouted me as she couldn't understand why it was lumpy and hard to stir 😂

Making stir fried noodles. Went to get the soy sauce but picked up the balsamic vinegar by mistake...covered entire dish in balsamic. Poor mrformerbabe still ate it.

I am so glad other people have also done my worst ones. I've made dead seals on a beach (I wish we'd thought of the name too), shattered a ceramic pot on the hob and watched my spaghetti slither through the colander and down the sink.

Also made a cheesecake without the cheese and a truly inedible steak and onion pudding. Pink tasteless beef in glutinous stodge. I still don't know what I did wrong, so I'm never making it again.

I procreated with someone who for some unfathomable reason thinks cooking is optional, even for himself. Does that count?

Omg, just had to add ours. Dh decided to make lasagne & copied his sister by putting some sugar in the tomato sauce - you've guessed it - it was inedible, horrendously sweet. Only dh doesn't believe in waste so he ate the whole lot himself. As for myself, I was a learner cook, following a Delia recipe. Are you reading this Delia? She said to put some cheddar in the pastry for the top of an apple pie because it made it more crusty... so I did. Cheese pie with sweet apple! It was rank!! Never again..

Only this morning, I went to make an omelette & cracked the eggs into the food bin & put the shells in a cup

I did however, make an awesome cat & kittens cake for my dc using chocolate minirolls

70's carpet - cheese and apple generally works well together, certainly something I eat regularly.

I was making lasagne and added garlic powder. It was a catering tub and I didn't realise that the lid had come off. Whole contents ended up in the mixture. I was rushing out so continued cooking. Left it in the oven for DP to finish off when he got home. When I got home the house smelt like a chemical factory. DP had tried a bit and couldn't eat anymore.
I think the amount of powder was the equivalent of a thousand cloves .

@minmooch dead seals on a beach.

That really got me

Burnt fish fingers under a grill, ended up with smoke billowing out of the kitchen window and smoke alarm going off...

Boiled an egg then realised it wasn't quite cooked enough when I took the top off so put it into the microwave for a few seconds. It 'eggs'ploded everywhere!!!

Another I've thought of.

We used to grow herbs in the garden. We had a spectacular amount of sage and mint.
Dh was making sage and onion stuffing and went to get some sage from the garden. In the dark. With a heavy cold. He likes his stuffing fairly herby, so he got a lot.

Not only was the stuffing uneatable it had managed to flavour the chicken it stuffed to an extent that was also uneatable.

Had a couple we hardly knew round for weekend lunch. Cooked a ham which was unbelievably salty, baked potatoes which were ALL black in the middle. The salad was ok. They were so polite and nice but i was really embarassed.
When I was first learning to cook I made a mushroom stroganoff without reading the recipe to the end, the final words of which were ‘serves 12’

@SacramentoMN I did this to but it exploded in my parents dining room with an impressive amount of coverage, table, chairs, ceiling, carpet, walls! 🙈

I put curry powder instead of chilli last week, in some chicken enchiladas. I couldn't eat it ( for some reason the thought if it made me feel really sick). I fessed up to everyone but they still chose to eat it and declared it delicious!

Chocolate Soup.

A favourite recipe of mine - classic Delia. Chocolate mousse with the orange variant.

I've made it LOADS of time before & since.

I was a student. Money was tight.
I bought milk chocolate as it was on offer rather than the dark chocolate specified.

The bloody mousse just wouldn't set.
So everyone at my dinner party had chocplate soup for dessert....