The dumbest cooking-related mistake you ever made?

[Holliemorrisonx]

I would say cooking a chicken wrap for twice as long as I needed to and it burnt

I've done the stock thing too.

Macaroni cheese with no cheese in it is pretty dire.

I’ve cooked the turkey with giblets in bag inside. Served up Brussels with Christmas dinner without peeling them or anything. Nobody even told me and it can’t out years later. Made chicken soup or something similar that required bay leaves which I promptly crushed up and threw in not realising you were meant to keep them whole and remove them after.

I can’t cook.

I used a whole bulb of garlic in a dish that required just one clove. It was the first time I'd cooked for my boyfriend. He tried his best to eat it, poor man, but it defeated him because it really wasn't nice. He still married me.

I've done chilli without the chilli a couple of times too. That's boring.

Just today I got the urge to bake a cake, I know how to do it without a recipe, being baking for years. It was in the oven before I realised I'd used 3 eggs instead of 4. It's cooling now & I think it'll be OK.

Another stock person!

I once set sausages on fire under the grill, and instead of dealing with it like a competent adult, I squealed and lobbed the whole firey tray into the back garden.

Me and my sister cooked whole fish that hadn't been de-scaled . First mouthful was revolting.

Made a lemon tart that involved pre-cooking the pastry base. Let it cool, poured the filling in, and turned away to do something else. Heard a strange dripping noise, and the whole filling was pouring off the kitchen worktop; turned out the base had a crack in it.

Attempted a fancy three tier Jamie Oliver lemon cake (what is it with lemons?!) for DD1's birthday, but didn't cool it enough before sandwiching with buttercream. The whole thing curdled and melted, the layers just slithered apart into a pool of lumpy, melted slop; I had to break it up and serve it in a bowl like a rubbish trifle. And dash to Tesco for a last-minute birthday cake.

Boiled a pan of peas dry - they ended up like tiny black ball bearings, and the house stank for days.

My DH was asked to make gravy for Xmas dinner one year. He confused Oxo with Bisto and just made a big jug of stock. He said "I thought it looked a bit weak..."

I once spent ages looking for "seasoned flour" in the supermarket and only later realised it just meant put salt and pepper into flour...

I was making gingerbread men with DS for his whole class. Forgot to put the sugar in. They tasted like dust. I had to make another batch of 30 after DS had gone to bed.

I've hosted Christmas 3 times now and always forget the bag of giblets. 🙈

And back at secondary school I came out super proud of my apple crumble. Put it on the car boot to open the ummm... car boot. Boot lifted up, crumble fell off and smashed onto the floor.

I drained some just-cooked rice into the colander while standing in the middle of the kitchen, nowhere near the sink. It was one of my finest moments

Now THAT'S talent … jetlag by any chance? It's what I (truthfully) blamed when I once made tea and put the sugar in the teapot and the boiling water in the tea caddy

I did the "whole bulb or garlic instead of a clove" thing too, before I knew better. I happen to adore garlic, but that was ridiculous

Making a chocolate almond loaf cake thing for dh's birthday. The recipe called for 1/2tsp bicarb and 150 or so grams of ground almonds. I mixed them up. I remember thinking it must be wrong but didn't stop to look and cooked it anyway. The results were awful - a burnt, dry, sunken, inedible mess. I had to throw out the cake tin. It was months before I tried again and, done properly, it was delicious!

making a chicken curry when I was about 17 and used a whole jar or curry paste and nothing else! it went straight in bed and flat smelt of curry for a week😩

Microwaving an egg to boil it. Made complete sense to me at the time. Until the microwave exploded all over our carpeted rental kitchen.

Cannot remember anything too bad - but occasionally when following a recipe in a book (or in my head!), I would get to the bit where it said "when it thickens...".Nope, not happening. I cook it on and on - no thickening, so I add some cornflour paste and water, nothing. I try again. Nothing. Then all of a sudden - a brick has formed!

Doesn't happen so much now. Apart from that , I always feel any savoury dish can be improved with cheese and any sweet dish by chocolate!

Once in my late teens I bought a marinade sauce and put it on some pre-packaged ham slices overnight in the fridge

Got the ratio of eggs to pasta massively wrong in a carbonara: result, disgusting slimy mess.
Never had to make a spit vs swallow decision with dinner before.

I drained some just-cooked rice into the colander while standing in the middle of the kitchen, nowhere near the sink. It was one of my finest moments

I am not quite as bad but I did have a lovely big red sieve and drained my spaghetti in it. Sadly the holes were really big and I watched most of it go down the plug hole.

Someone was in the local paper recently complaining that she had put her cottage pie ready meal in the microwave for 45 mins and it burnt. She actually had her face plastered online with this - no shame at all!

I’ve done the stock thing and the cooking a chilli without chilli thing.

I’ve also cooked a gammon joint still in its plastic wrap. DH tried to eat it thinking it was particularly tough rind!

A friend asked for my hummus recipe and then later told me it wasn’t good. Turned out she hadn’t drained and rinsed the chickpeas and blended in all the gloop from the tin.

I 'threw' a whole tray of fish fingers on the floor a few weeks ago. When I say threw, I took the hot tray out of the oven to give then a shake around and the whole tray ended up on the floor.

Once in my late teens I bought a marinade sauce and put it on some pre-packaged ham slices overnight in the fridge

That’s brilliant.

My ExH made a beautiful full roast dinner, then used cocoa powder instead of gravy powder. My worst one was using a plastic spatula to cook a cheese omelette. The melted plastic was indistinguishable from the melted cheese.

Made savory mince for dinner. Followed a new recipe and it looked a bit tomatoey, dh hates bolognese and I knew he’d refuse to try it so I decided to add some food colouring.
A big splash of black food colouring. It was black mince with bits of carrot floating around in it. He took one look at it and went to get a pizza
I told him I put too much soy sauce in it. I might own up now.

@alittlebitdemented Me too 😂 Made houmous and couldn't understand why it tasted so bad, yip 1 bulb I put in rather than 1 clove 🙈

Made bread with no salt in it. Literally inedible.

DH helped himself to some faggots he found in the fridge, not realising they needed to be cooked first.🤮

I set my new bread machine on timer. Came home from work to a lovely smell. Opened machine and found that I'd forgotten to add water so all I had was some lovely smelling hot flour