Strangers commenting on my appearance

[SparklesandFlowers]

Went for a walk with some friends and our children in buggies. There was a man we we chatting to before we set off, I don't know him, I think he was a stranger to everyone. After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun". I was red but because I was hot. I certainly haven't caught the sun as I know I burn easily so I wore a hat and carried a parasol the whole time. I tried to be assertive and told him I'm naturally red and that I get red when I'm hot, angry, embarrassed, drink red wine and other things.

I'm just upset he felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. I wish I'd said "Do you mean to be so rude?" but I'm never assertive enough. Why do people feel the need to comment on others' appearance? I know I'm red, I don't need it pointing out.

I think it sounds like he was being friendly. You had been chatting previously and it was likely just something to say to acknowledge you all so he quickly thought of something to say.
Most people wouldn't be offended by being told they had caught the sun.
I bet he'd wished he hadn't bothered.

Perhaps he was just trying to strike up a conversation with you. It's a common enough remark to say to someone in this sort of weather. Assertiveness is good but being chippy and on the look out to be offended, not so much.

What the hell is wrong about saying you have caught the sun??? Is there more to this non story?

Surely there is a massive backstory to this because otherwise you are very sensitive and prone to overreacting.

Jeez it’s just a common comment, akin to ‘it’s sure hot today’. It means nothing, he meant nothing, relax!

Just making conversation...you had previously chatted and he sounds friendly.

Fuck me, i mean really?

There there you poor thing.

If you hadn;t of been chatting to him before, then I would have said that was a very strange thing to say to you.

But because you had been chatting, then I guess he was just trying to be friendly (but actually being rude)

Imagine the conversation...
“You caught the sun.”
“Did you mean to be so rude?”

What’s the big deal? Why feel the need to be assertive in all situations? This is a total non story

If you were chatting before and were friendly with each other he was most likely just passing a friendly comment. For one, he is a bloke so they dont always think things through about how a comment may affect a woman, but honestly try not to take that to heart, i feel like in this instance, that was completely innocent and he was just trying to be chatty and friendly.

It would have been really cringey to say “did you men to be so rude” even were it deserved, but to someone who has said “you look like you’ve caught the sun” it would have been mortifying.

I’ve been called worse than red. You’re overreacting.

I think you are overreacting here.

Caught the sun can mean you look a little tanned or your freckles have come out not necessary that your red.

Try not to let things easily trigger you or stay indoors and only come out at night when there is less chance of someone making conversation that might offend you.

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You’re

Sounds like he was just making conversation but inadvertently hit a nerve 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn't realise a stranger pointing in my face and making personal comments was okay. I guess saying we were chatting makes it sound like we were getting to know each other but I said about two words to him. You must all be lucky and not have people comment on what you look like as you go about your lives. As you were.

“I’m never assertive enough” 😁
Your response was fairly assertive, bordering on rude really. It was that weird situation where you see someone again and you have to say something, anything! and it’s a bit awkward. Sit in the shade for a while.

Someone I know passingly well, and who I haven’t seen in a year, said this to me today. ‘Wow, it looks like you’ve put on some weight!’.

I laughed and said ‘Well that’s both a true AND a rude thing to say, Pete!’

Then I asked after his mum’s health and we briefly chatted.

I mention this, because it might offer some insight into normal human interactions. And how not to stew endlessly over nothing.

I think you're taking offense of nothing

Him: you've caught the sun!
You: no, I've kept out of it, I'm just really hot and bothered :)
Hth.

Definitely an over-reaction on your part, the poor man was just passing a comment , it's not as though he called you a fat red-faced bitch.

Bet he wouldn't have said it to a man. It's like the cheer up love / give us a smile comments.

It sounds like you are really oversensitive