Strangers commenting on my appearance

[SparklesandFlowers]

Went for a walk with some friends and our children in buggies. There was a man we we chatting to before we set off, I don't know him, I think he was a stranger to everyone. After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun". I was red but because I was hot. I certainly haven't caught the sun as I know I burn easily so I wore a hat and carried a parasol the whole time. I tried to be assertive and told him I'm naturally red and that I get red when I'm hot, angry, embarrassed, drink red wine and other things.

I'm just upset he felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. I wish I'd said "Do you mean to be so rude?" but I'm never assertive enough. Why do people feel the need to comment on others' appearance? I know I'm red, I don't need it pointing out.

I think you need to stay out of the sun
It’s obviously done something funny to you

xJodiex

She'd been part of a chat to him earlier

He saw her later and she'd caught the sun

Fuck sake, overreaction from you or what?

I'm so glad my RL doesn't resemble half the batshittery on MN

The fcking bst*rd!!!!! You should have beaten him over the head with that parasol of yours till it was a bloody pulp.

"You've caught the sun" is a perfectly friendly comment. If he'd said "fuck me, you look fat in that dress!" I might agree with you but I can't get worked up about this.

Christ on a bike. If a little comment about you getting some sun on your face makes you this unhinged, I'd hate to see your reaction if something serious happens.

Are you joking?

I get it too. Why do people feel the need to make a comment on someone's appearance? It's not a great conversation starter is it "my you look bloated after that big meal" I mean it's not really much different in essence is it?

I too get very red arms when I'm hot and have been told loads of times I'm burnt. It's irritating, as I've got to explain "no I just go red in heat" and even if I was burnt, what help is it to me pointing it out? Surely I'd know?

So I get you OP, even though obviously we should just accept random men making unsolicited comments about us...

Christ I hope nobody ever shouts nice arse at you, you’ll be calling in the SAS!

You sound so highly strung you’re almost touching the ceiling, Jodie

I sympathise OP. I have pale skin and go red at the drop of a hat and find it embarrassing/uncomfortable when people comment on my redness. I know people don’t mean to be malicious but it is not polite to make such personal comments about someone’s appearance. If you don’t habitually suffer from redness you probably won’t understand this. I mean, it’s certainly not a compliment commenting on someone being red/sunburnt is it? A friends new boyfriend recently said I’d caught the sun to me at a party. I was embarrassed as I realised my half glass of Prosecco had already turned me red. Sigh.

I think he was very rude to make a negative comment (being red after catching the sun is not a good thing) about your face when he doesn't know you at all

Did you time travel today op
The parasol was a good idea, but it could also indicate that you are really from 1850, and found this gentleman a little too familiar.
If you are ever accosted like this again, try fanning your face very quickly!

Pointing in someone’s general direction and pointing in someone’s face are two different things. If someone pointed their finger right in my face I’d be unimpressed. It’s not clear what happened on this occasion

A parasol? Are you Mary Poppins?

It's pretty clear to me Green

"After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun"

Nowhere has the OP said, "He pointed his finger right in my face"

Chihuahua

Forgot to mention in my post earlier “did you mean to be so rude” is the most lame retort ever!

It’s in her second post Worral... read it

They wouldn't say it to other men, and women don't say it.

Women don't say it? Really? I work with the public - every single day I have men and women make comments about my appearance and when I was much younger I had a woman approach me whilst on holiday to ask "how I got that terrible scar". But I'm glad that women don't say it!!!!!

Worral, read OP’s second post at 16.48 before you do this

This would be a normal comment to make in my world too. I think he was just being friendly. I would think that it's not so much 'commenting on your appearance' as making light chit-chat to alleviate any awkwardness at having seen you again so soon. I wouldn't worry about it.

I imagine all of the posters that are commenting get a grip don’t have roscea where you always have a redness about you and can almost go purple in the sun. The redness tends to be our natural colour most of the time.
I don’t go about saying “oh you look pink, look a bit pale” so why should someone comment on the redness of someone’s face. Have some sensitivity ffs.

I have rosacea, it’s comments like this all the fucking time that keep me caked in make up.

YANBU to find it a bit off OP but as you were a bit red from the sun I suspect he just thought it was small talk.

Having said that, every single aspect of a woman’s appearance seems to be fair game for comment doesn’t it? So I get why OP feels defensive even if she doesn’t have rosacea.

Unless it’s something that can a) be fixed immediately, like food in teeth or a dirt smudge; b) a compliment (like ‘where do you get your hair done it’s amazing’ not ‘your tits look great in that top’); c) coming from a place of genuine concern then DONT COMMENT.

Yeah I read it Green and took it with a pinch of salt.

It's known as 'beefing it up a bit' when the replies aren't going the OP's way...