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Original poster

Strangers commenting on my appearance

135 replies

SparklesandFlowers · 23/07/2019 16:18

Went for a walk with some friends and our children in buggies. There was a man we we chatting to before we set off, I don't know him, I think he was a stranger to everyone. After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun". I was red but because I was hot. I certainly haven't caught the sun as I know I burn easily so I wore a hat and carried a parasol the whole time. I tried to be assertive and told him I'm naturally red and that I get red when I'm hot, angry, embarrassed, drink red wine and other things.

I'm just upset he felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. I wish I'd said "Do you mean to be so rude?" but I'm never assertive enough. Why do people feel the need to comment on others' appearance? I know I'm red, I don't need it pointing out.

OP posts:
Rachelover40 · 23/07/2019 17:19

The remark doesn't sound rude to me.

edgen2019 · 23/07/2019 17:22

Sparkles - I have deliberately lost a lot of weight over the last year, and very often have been asked by slight aquaintenances "have you been ill" a bit personal I think, something I would never do, but that's folk for you.

notacooldad · 23/07/2019 17:22

You must all be lucky and not have people comment on what you look like as you go about your lives. As you were.
Jesus wept!!
A simple innocuous comment!
People have said the same to mevivervthecyears while I've been waiting at an ice cream van or queuing in a cafe.
Theres been other inoffensive comments that I put down to people passing the time if day and being chatty.
I rather like it

namechangeninjaevervigilant · 23/07/2019 17:23

It sounds like a perfectly innocuous comment along the lines of “hot out isn’t it?’ Or ‘enjoying the weather?’ Why on earth you engaged with it beyond a smile and ‘yes’ is beyond me.

notacooldad · 23/07/2019 17:24

mevivervthecyears
Me over the years!!
obviously I have fat fingers that miss the space bar and eyes that dont notice!

Cherrysoup · 23/07/2019 17:25

Hardly the insult of the century. Just ignore. I think maybe you're being over sensitive?

notacooldad · 23/07/2019 17:25

He pointed in your face? You didn’t originally say that. If he did that then that’s pretty rude to be fair
Really? I'd say it's in context with what he us saying.

HeadintheiClouds · 23/07/2019 17:27

Jesus Christ...

Barbarafromblackpool · 23/07/2019 17:28

I get it OP, I go very red in the heat and I don't like it. Subsequently I don't like (men) people pointing it out. 'Yeah, no shit, got anything more interesting to say?'

MerdedeBrexit · 23/07/2019 17:28

What?

Double0FeckingBollocks · 23/07/2019 17:29

So he's pointing in your face now? Are you going to suddenly remember that he was frothing at the mouth, screaming? Settle down. It's hot. We're all a bit cross.

OooErMissus · 23/07/2019 17:29

To be fair, the OP did say he pointed in the OP...

After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun".

cheeseislife8 · 23/07/2019 17:33

Pretty sure he'd have meant it innocently enough. Someone said I looked 'hot and bothered' yesterday (I did, to be fair), it's just a roundabout way of commenting on the hideously uncomfortable weather I thought!

cheeseislife8 · 23/07/2019 17:34

What does hth mean?

TSSDNCOP · 23/07/2019 17:36

As you were

You see direct and assertive. I see really very rude indeed.

Unclench OP. You’ll live longer.

neveradullmoment99 · 23/07/2019 17:38

wtf!!!! He sound like he was just being friendly. Offended? Really? Get over yourself!

Frownette · 23/07/2019 17:39

Hope that helps.

You've made me feel rude now, I saw neighbour earlier in the week and said the sun had caught her nose. It had, nothing derogatory was meant by it.

Frownette · 23/07/2019 17:40

She had a really petite nose so it wasn't a veiled insult

DefinatelyAWeeGobshite · 23/07/2019 17:40

Sorry OP, sounds like an over reaction to me. Was just friendly chat in my opinion.

ohcanada · 23/07/2019 17:40

I dont like strangers making random comments on my appearance either, however, clearly no malice behind it, just poor social skills!

Michellebops · 23/07/2019 17:42

Seriously! Perhaps he was just being friendly. If he's a stranger and first time you've spoken then he perhaps didn't want to walk by you without acknowledgment but actually making some conversation.

xJodiex · 23/07/2019 17:43

That would've annoyed me too.

It's years and years of strange men in the street etc making comments like that to me that has gradually made me very intolerant of that shit. It's literally like 'fuck off, you don't know me, I don't wanna know you, leave me alone, pr*ck' As I've gotten older I do actually answer them back sometimes, they never know what to say after. They wouldn't say it to other men, and women don't say it. It always seems to be strange men saying it to women / girls and it pisses me off.

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2019 17:43

Jesus Christ OP, you seriously need to get out more.

Or possibly less, if that's your reaction to a perfectly normal comment.

Paperyfish · 23/07/2019 17:44

It is rude to make unsolicited comments on another persons appearance. I hate it too- especially when people say “ohhh, you look exhausted” which is really just a way of saying you look awful!

xJodiex · 23/07/2019 17:45

Oh yeah, and why if he was making conversation did he, of all things, comment on a random woman's appearance? Nah. Irritates me. We're just too tuned in/quick for people @OP :)