Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Strangers commenting on my appearance

135 replies

SparklesandFlowers · 23/07/2019 16:18

Went for a walk with some friends and our children in buggies. There was a man we we chatting to before we set off, I don't know him, I think he was a stranger to everyone. After the walk I saw him again and he pointed at me and said "You caught the sun". I was red but because I was hot. I certainly haven't caught the sun as I know I burn easily so I wore a hat and carried a parasol the whole time. I tried to be assertive and told him I'm naturally red and that I get red when I'm hot, angry, embarrassed, drink red wine and other things.

I'm just upset he felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. I wish I'd said "Do you mean to be so rude?" but I'm never assertive enough. Why do people feel the need to comment on others' appearance? I know I'm red, I don't need it pointing out.

OP posts:
OooErMissus · 23/07/2019 16:55

I'm just upset he felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. I wish I'd said "Do you mean to be so rude?

You know when something happens to you, and then minutes / hours / days after the event, you think of the perfect, withering come-back...?

Yeah, that wasn't it.

Sparklyring · 23/07/2019 16:55

Eh?! Massive over reaction. Perfectly normal thing to say.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/07/2019 16:57

You must all be lucky and not have people comment on what you look like as you go about your lives

Nope, I've had comments like you describe- it would not occur to me to be offended.

Being fat and ugly I have also had my share of mean or overly familiar comments- they are very different.

Jen224 · 23/07/2019 16:57

I understand how you feel. I have rosea and my face is often red. It's really embarrassing and I try and always have it covered by makeup. The slightest blink of sunshine and everyone feels like that can comment on how red I am and give me a lecture on staying out of the sun.

Greenglassteacup · 23/07/2019 16:57

He pointed in your face? You didn’t originally say that. If he did that then that’s pretty rude to be fair

KeepFuckingOff · 23/07/2019 16:57

Wow you’re very over sensitive about a total non event. He just thought you caught the sun that’s it. If he’d shouted LOOK HOW RED YOU ARE!! and pointed and laughed then yes you’d have a point but seriously you need to chill.

UpToonGirl · 23/07/2019 16:57

You know sometimes these threads make me worried about making small talk with people and the various ways I may inadvertently upset/piss them off!

KeepFuckingOff · 23/07/2019 16:58

Oh so now he was pointing in your face? Right ok. Hmm

SemperIdem · 23/07/2019 16:59

Hmm you are over reacting.

Wildorchidz · 23/07/2019 16:59

Some people exist in a state of being permanently offended.
Especially MN posters.

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 23/07/2019 16:59

I'm with you on this OP. I have rosacea (and from what you said so might you) and it's astonishing how many middle aged men - and it's always middle aged men - feel the need to tell me i'm sunburnt. I'm not.

It's surprisingly irritating.

boredboredboredboredbored · 23/07/2019 17:02

Ffs Confused

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 23/07/2019 17:05

I don't think I could get wound up about this.

I'm always dubious about not-assertive-enough people. They tend to be plenty assertive enough I find!

StealthNinjaMum · 23/07/2019 17:07

Sorry op I'm another one who thinks you're overreacting.

ChrisPrattsFace · 23/07/2019 17:08

I once got told I looked sweaty and disgusting after a short walk on a very hot day. Similar situation to yours.
That was rude.
Not ‘you’ve Caught the sun’ - to me that’s a friendly remark/conversation starter, to someone who is clearly a different colour to when they seen them an hour or whatever previously.

boughtnotbrought · 23/07/2019 17:10

At least he'll know not to bother trying to be friendly to you next time he sees you, red faced or not Hmm

newmomof1 · 23/07/2019 17:13

I thought this post must have been a massive drip-feed so read the thread and wish I hadn't wasted those 5 minutes of my life... OP I think you've got heat stroke or something...

MashedSpud · 23/07/2019 17:14

Why were you so defensive? You could have just replied with “Yeah, this bloody heatwave” or something similar rather than giving him your whole life story.

Kezza8 · 23/07/2019 17:14

Jeeze! Seems like the sun really is getting to everyone today.

storminabuttercup · 23/07/2019 17:14

Jeez. Total overreaction. You'd have looked like a total arse using the rude question

Alwaysthesun · 23/07/2019 17:16
Biscuit
Instatwat · 23/07/2019 17:16

I love that now he’s suddenly pointing in your face 😂 Will he be shouting in your next update? Maybe dropping in a swear word?

Pannalash · 23/07/2019 17:16

Crikey overreaction OP

PortiaCastis · 23/07/2019 17:18

Oh FFS don't be so precious

SummerInTheVillage · 23/07/2019 17:19

Good grief. What a prickly person you are.

Swipe left for the next trending thread