If you’re married but didn’t change your name what title do you have?

[Owlbabie5]

Miss, Ms or Mrs?

I don't even want it then, the history is unpalatable.

Dr.

Much better than Miss, Mrs, Ms or any other alternative.

But earned via blood, sweat and tears. Not an option for everyone.

Revd.

Mrs

Looks like I’m in the minority! I was Miss pre marriage , Mrs his surname on marriage.
I liked his surname better than mine.
I also like that our little family have the same surname.

You're in the minority because the thread specifically asks for the experiences of people who DIDN'T change their name when they got married, and what they did about their titles.

Your post isn't relevant to the thread.

I liked his surname better than mine.
I also like that our little family have the same surname.

Bingo. Whereas the rest of us are OK with continuing to use our birth surname ShiteCrapLump, and are also happy to hand that onto our children.

@Abhann I'm proud to be Dr ShiteCrapLump. I also prefer to have the option to disown my little family and pretend they have nothing to do with me.

I don't even want it then, the history is unpalatable - I used to think that and felt that all adult women should be Ms by default, but now I quite like the idea of all the single and divorced women adopting Mrs. It would immediately stop anyone knowing whether you were married from your title which is the whole point as far as I'm concerned and as a lot more people use Mrs than Ms it would be easier.

I'm proud to be Dr ShiteCrapLump

Me too, @CollaterlyS1sters. And DS is Master ShiteCrapLump DH'sLovelySurnameWhichIsReallyHisDespiteBeingHisFather's.

My little family finds my surname hilarious (because it is a really stupid one, unlike theirs, which is why I happily agreed to them taking their father’s name/didn’t even contemplated double-barrelling). Who am I to deny small children a cheap laugh on a daily basis?

Nothing.
I cross our the selection options.

Most people call me Mrs X, but that doesn't drink my gears - I have a registered alias at the bank etc for payments that come through in that name though, as legally I'm still using my maiden name.

I go by Mrs [Maiden name]. People often default to Mrs [Husband surname] but I don't really mind, it's a natural assumption.

Kids have husband's surname as mines a boring anglicisation, but also one that works nicely with my first name, and his/the kids' surname is rather cool and Central-European-Aristo sounding. He has changed his name by deed poll so my surname is one of his middle names (on a whim about 2 years ago, we've been married for 12 years), and the kids want the same, but we haven't got round to it

All 3 on different occasions!

People often default to Mrs [Husband surname] but I don't really mind, it's a natural assumption.

I don’t think it should be a natural assumption. It’s everyday sexism and should be called out.

I’m a Ms, have been for years. I have never married but I have a teen DS so it feels ridiculous to call myself Miss. For some reason it has connotations of young girls or maiden aunts in Victorian novels for me.

However, after a run in with an airline that only offered Mr, Mrs or a selection of random titles, I now use whichever one I like on the day when I fly with them. So far I have scored a cardinal, a Rear Admiral and an Air Vice Marshall. None of these are female titles (yet). I’ve never been stopped though I do have my “oh silly me, must have been the drop down menu” excuse ready when I finally am.

The history is still unacceptable to me expletive. I will never use a title that has identified a woman by her marital status.

Lmao at having the option to disown my little family! The way the kids have been this week its tempting!

I have to disagree with HorridHenryNits I would rather we just adopted Mrs for all adult women as a direct parallel to Mr for all adult men. Ms has just allowed women to be further categorised as either divorced or 'one of those women' etc. etc. All titles have a complicated history and Mrs has in the past just been the title for a woman who deserves respect - no matter whether that was because of marriage or because of another responsible position. I think we should all be able to use Mrs as adult women who deserve respect independent of our relationship status.

I think it would be much easier to get that convention universally adopted as well.

"Ms" both before and after my marriage

Find it incredible that so many say they opt for Ms.

My job requires me to look at titles for quite the cross section of society on a daily basis yet I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen Ms used

By all means disagree if you want, it's for you to decide what you are comfortable with. I'm just not ever using anything that has ever denoted a woman's marital status. I would rather have something that's as neutral as Mr, but if my choice is between something that historically connotates one's marital status or something connotating one of those women (which it kind of is now really) it'll be option B every single time. Use Mrs for yourself if you like it, but keep it well away from me. Same with Miss.

I think it's because this thread isn't a representative cross section pancaketits. The OP specifically asked for women who didn't name change on marriage, and most posters responding have fallen into that category. That's about 30% of women marrying in England this decade, but it was lower before that. So although a lot of women who didn't namechange will have done so for cultural reasons, those of us who didn't do it because of particular beliefs are going to be over-represented.

I find it deplorable that adult females are expected to declare their marital status publicly when an adult male is simply Mr no matter his situation. And that so many women are complicit in this patriarchy!! Why do you want people to know you are married? The status? It’s very old-fashioned.

Mstr to Mr
Miss to Ms

Dr

I remember telling a friend I was keeping my own surname and carrying on with Ms and she looked a bit panicky and said "but how will people know you're married?". 20 years on now and everyone who needs to know has been able find out by asking, it hasn't been a problem.