Young grandparents

[HighlandWorrier]

So I recently bumped into an old school friend who told me she's a granny and her 3 kids are all over 20. Realise I must have started out late as my own kids are 4 and 11.

Was speaking to my friend about it and she told me of someone who became a granny at 35 I was like

So wondering if I am in the minority to not have grandkids, I'm 44 by the way.

My parents were 44 and 45 when they became grandparents. I think it's perfectly normal to become a first time parent at 20 or at 35, and therefore a grandparent at 40 or at 70, or anywhere in between.

I went to school with someone who's granny became a granny aged 32.

Its a grand time to be alive, when we can choose to have a baby

Surely you don't think it's grand for a girl of 14 or 15 to have a baby? I am involved with families where it is very much the norm to have a baby at 16. Their mother had them at or before 16. There is very little that's grand about it. Generations of families that don't have GCSE's, have never worked and have had to rely on benefits. The roll out of UC on these fami!it's has been catastrophic; a 45 year old who has never worked being forced into employment is a massive kick in the teeth and anxiety inducing. It's leading to more people applying for PIP under MH grounds, more women self medicating with alcohol and OTC drugs. More needs to be done in these areas to stop this cycle as the children are the ones who suffer and go to repeat the behaviour.

I think a school friend was about 33 she had her Dd at 16 and her grandchild has just had prom so 16 /17 .

My parents are both 70 and not grandparents

I had my DD at 16. I’ve always worked, thank you card

I became a Nana last year aged 49. My sister became a grandmother at 37 making my mother a great granny at 69

Cats I didn't say that everyone who has a baby at 16 never works. IME it's quite rare though and usually only happens if the grandparents offer free childcare and/or the child still lives at home. Genuinely interested, what did you work as that meant you could afford FT childcare and run a house at 16?

Of course I didn’t work or run a house at 16 (neither do most 16 year olds, FYI) However, your post wasn’t about 16 year olds but consigned teenage parents to a lifetime of never working

Cats sorry my mistake, you said you had always worked so I assumed that meant since you had your child. There are many girls who have had babies at that age and with a lot of support have gone on to finish school and university, but IME it is not the ones where having a baby atv16 is a generational norm.

DH's mum was 17 when she had him, and we made her a grandma at the age of 41.

Sticking up for cat she didn't consign all teenage parents to not workiing they said she worked in areas where generations of people had babies ypung and they never work these people do exist it is a cycle that isn't broken, not all teenage parents are like this.

I made my Mum a Grandma at 38. No big deal, she loves her Grandchildren and they love her.

You said

‘Generations of families that don’t have GCSEs’

I have mine. So do my children

‘have never worked and had to rely on benefits’

I’ve always worked, since I left full time education I should have said. Sorry, I didn’t realise I was supposed to be working with a new baby

What you are referring to isn’t a teenage mother problem but it’s a societal issue. Some young parents are part of it but not all - and of course you can be part of it without being a teenage mother.

Cats - Cardamon never claimed everyone who had a baby at 16 fitted her description, but statistically there is a very strong pattern. She is factually correct.
Anecdotes aren't the same as data, as is so often said on here.

There is a link between teenage parenthood and poverty but not between ‘never having worked.’

Most teenage parents will work, even if part time, once they are at an age to do so.

I became a grandma last year at 37. My granddaughter is as wonderful as her mummy 🍀

Most of the people I know of my age - mid 40s - are not grandparents. Most have primary age children, having had their own children aged between late 20s and late 30s.

Personally, I don't think being a granny in your 30s is anything to aspire to.

No idea about anyone else’s situation but I worked full time in a (for me, fresh out of college) good, well paid job from the age of 17. It was the same job I was in when I had my first baby and was able to return to it and run my home and pay for childcare after I had him. I was a single mum though and qualified for working tax credits and housing benefit so it wasn’t just my wage supporting us but there was definitely no grandparent support on offer.

Sorry i meant sticking up for card misread names sorry

So what I’m trying to say is, it’s entirely possible for a 16 Year old to be working full or part time and running a home and paying childcare.

I'm 62. Two children, no grandchildren and doesn't look likely, either.

My father was 98 when he died. He had six grandchildren but no great grandchildren.

Cats I never consigned all teen mothers to anything. If you read my post properly you will see that I am referring to geographical areas where being a teen mum (by 16) is a generational norm. I was replying in response to a poster who said it's great we can choose to have a baby at any age. Albeit she probably wasn't referring to 14/15 year olds, but in the families where this is the generational norm little effort is made to make these girls (and boys) feel that back g a child is a great responsibility. For most of these they believe the state is responsible for all of their problems. Within these areas a 15 year old getting pregnant is a cause for celebration, whereas across the general population this is unlikely to initially be the case. Years ago on Underage and Pregnant there was a girl who had been TTC since the age of 12. Her parents were aware of this and allowed her to have sex in their house as 'she would just be doing it in the bushes anyway'. This is the sort of attitude I see frequently and these are the ones that live in poverty yet almost seem to encourage their dc to do the same.

I had my eldest DD when I was 21.
My Mum has me just before she turned 21 so was a Gran at 41.
I'm 41 now so imagine I'll be a Gran before I'm 50.

My dds bf at schools grand mother was younger than i am. Her DM was 14 when she had her . Im 56 and dc are 21 and 23. My little sis is a gm at 49. But her dc are older than mine