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Hands up, how many of us were smacked as children?

318 replies

Brownwool · 19/07/2019 21:43

Just doing my own survey here. For me it was just normal. A bloody good smacking certainly taught us what not to do. It was more about my parents being unable to control themselves. And now things have changed so much. I just wonder how many MNrs were routinely smacked?

OP posts:
GooodMythicalMorning · 20/07/2019 18:58

yep lots.

MustBeAWeasly · 20/07/2019 19:01

I used to get a slap across my back on the shoulder blade so hard it would leave a red raised hand print. Never my dad always my mum. I've also had wacks to the arse with hair brushes.
I wouldn't say it's damaged me I have wonderful parents and had an amazing childhood. I'd never smack my dd I think it was just the thing back in the 90s early 00s.
She certainly would never raise a hand to her gc now

Parky04 · 20/07/2019 19:01

Never at home but numerous times at school.

MrsTommyBanks · 20/07/2019 19:02

Yes.

Scratchyfluffface · 20/07/2019 19:05

And no I don't hate my parents, or feel I was abused. I had a lovely childhood xx

notacooldad · 20/07/2019 19:06

I'm 54.
No, not that I can recall.
I didnt have an easy relationship and I still have issues but around smacking isnt one of them.

Lazydaisies · 20/07/2019 19:12

I totally don’t agree with slapping or most 1970s/1980s cultural parenting practices where I was brought it. I have to say though that smacking was the least of it, it was the authoritarian completely disinterested in your children’s emotional well-being that was much, much worse. That was a cultural norm where I grew up. We behaved in our parents company because we were very afraid of them but there was a whole world of serious shit going on behind their backs because we couldn’t speak to them about our emotional needs. I do not look as kindly as many here on past parenting practices.

motorcyclenumptiness · 20/07/2019 19:51

Yes by DM

Frazzled2207 · 20/07/2019 20:52

Yes, occasionally, in the 1980s. Can't remember what for but def was on occasion and it did me no harm at all.

Bloodybridget · 20/07/2019 21:03

My DM said she gave me a smack once or twice when I was very little (once for opening a jar of cocktail cherries and making a terrible mess on the carpet!) but I don't remember ever being hit by either parent, for which I'm very grateful. I was born in the 50s, so quite unusual not to be smacked.

Letthemysterybe · 20/07/2019 21:13

I was. It didn’t really effect me, but it didn’t do any good either! I definitely feel
It was more about my parents anger than it was about me. I would
Never smack my own children, though I have to admit I do get the urge to when their behaviour makes me angry- so that’s what being smacked taught me - hit when you are angry.

Milliways · 20/07/2019 21:18

Yes, only with hands but I remember well being taken upstairs for a spanking after a particularly bad behaviour. The only thing that really bothers me is the horrible memory of the one time my Mother banged mine and brothers heads together! We had been arguing outside her bedroom and she came out in a rage. Was awful but never happened again, and we have a really good relationship now.

supercatlady · 20/07/2019 21:19

Yes. A slap on the legs by Mum. A “good hiding” on bare bottom by Dad. Or a “clip around the ear” - I’m 50 this year - was normal wasn’t it?

MrsElf · 20/07/2019 22:03

Mid thirties, and was smacked fairly regularly when 2-8ish, by both parents. It was quite normal to us (and was certainly a lot better than the beltings they both got from their own parents). Never ever without reason, and rarely in anger (although dad is short fused, but mostly shouts and rants). It was very much “for your own good”, and they were very loving and involved parents, I genuinely believe that’s why they smacked us. Usually reasoned with/warned first, and smacks varied from gentle open palm over clothes (ie for stupidity, you should know better, don’t throw balls indoors and break plant pots, sort of behaviour) to stick/wooden spoon for defiance. Mum gave a few quite hard smacks on bare legs when we’d done something dangerous (and probably scared her, looking back) that might have been as much to relieve her feelings as for discipline, but certainly taught us what not to do! We were pretty well behaved, compliant children generally, and although we were occasionally threatened with a smack well into our teenage years, the threat was always enough for us to know when we were pushing our luck.
I remember other non-punishments as being much more unfair, can’t think that I was ever smacked without deserving it (and we probably got away with a lot as well). Also, we had a minute or two to stop crying, and then that was that - maybe a “and don’t do it again!” then it was all over with, hug, eyes wiped and move on. I don’t resent them at all, and have a very good and close relationship with them now, although I thought them very strict as a teenager, especially when comparing them with friends’ parents. Even at that time, though, I would have admitted that they thought all their rules and restrictions were for our own safety/good, and they were very generous and supportive in most things.

ContactLight · 20/07/2019 22:18

No, I never was. My mum told me that my grandma used to slap her face as a punishment, and she vowed to never ever smack me. I don't remember my dad ever hitting me either.

However - as a child I do remember listening to the kids next door being belted by their dad. He used to make them lie face down on their bed and he'd beat them with his slipper. I could hear it through my bedroom wall which was next to their room.

adaline · 20/07/2019 22:25

Never. I'm thirty.

My dad was beaten/smacked as a child and he swore he would never lay his hands on his kids.

DonnaDarko · 20/07/2019 22:28

I'm 35.

By my mum, I lived in fear of her wooden spoon lol.

Cannot say it caused me any harm. I don't ever hit my son and I love my mum. May she rest in peace.

Abibranning · 20/07/2019 22:31

I don't know what to say, my dad hit me with a belt a slipper etc, you whatever was to hand. But he is now dying of Parkinson's complications. I still cannot hate him.

missyB1 · 20/07/2019 22:36

Funny thing is my dh always defended the fact that his parents smacked him, and swore that it did kids no harm and was important for discipline blah blah ...
Then we had ds - and he totally changed his tune overnight! Zero chance he would ever lay an angry hand on our ds (who is 10 now). Dh is very anti smacking! Mil and Fil take it as a personal insult that we don’t agree with smacking Hmm

dingit · 20/07/2019 22:39

Yes and caned

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2019 22:41

For those that got smacked because it was against their rules or for your own good.

Did their parents smack others that infringed their rules and for their own good

Or they just smacked you because they could get away with it.

Pleasebequietnow · 20/07/2019 22:55

Did their parents smack others that infringed their rules and for their own good

What an odd question. My DP weren’t responsible for and raising ‘others’. So why would they discipline them?

LittleAndOften · 20/07/2019 23:02

I recently found out that my FIL grew bamboo on purpose to cane DH and his sister. And they got it preemptively, in case they thought about being naughty.

It makes me feel sick.

BarryBarryTaylor · 20/07/2019 23:05

My mom smacked me once. She cried for hours afterwards and didn’t stop saying sorry. I can’t remember what I did, but I know it was during school holidays, I was probably about 6/7.
I don’t recall it hurting me but I felt humiliated.

Despite my mom clearly regretting the smacking incident, she still had a cruel way with words (still does now) and if I ever did anything wrong, she would chose to discipline me by publicly humiliating me, often calling me stupid in front of other family members. I honestly thought she preferred my friends and cousins to me. We had a very testing relationship from ages 6-16. The way she would treat me has stayed with me all the way through to adulthood.
Im a very different mother to my Dd than she was to me.
Incidentally she absolutely dotes on my DD and treats her in a way she never treated me. She was so hard on me for everything, whereas DD is treated like a total butter wouldn’t melt princess 🤷🏻‍♀️

BoronationStreet · 20/07/2019 23:08

Yes a lot. I won't do it to my DS.