Hands up, how many of us were smacked as children?

[Brownwool]

Just doing my own survey here. For me it was just normal. A bloody good smacking certainly taught us what not to do. It was more about my parents being unable to control themselves. And now things have changed so much. I just wonder how many MNrs were routinely smacked?

Rarely if I was out of control, bold or brazen. It didn’t do me any harm .

Yes, add me to the list.

My Mum slapped me once, she had been working nights (and she was like a tightly wound weasel). The hairbrush left quite bad marks and I was furious. I went to the guards and said my mum did this. The guard said 'what did you do to drive your mam to do that?''. 40 years later the world is a very different place.

Yes by my dad, never by my mum.

I don't feel mentally scarred by it and have a good relationship with my dad now. If asked he would say he regrets it but didn't know any better, we're talking about the 1980s and it was fairly standard parenting then.

We have never discussed it since I became an adult as I know that her memory of it will be different to mine and i don't think there is anything to be achieved now by dwelling on it.
If she's anything like my mum she'd deny it happened and try and make you feel bad. Sometimes you just have to accept that they were crap and you can't change the past.

I think maybe once or twice. Once around the face as I couldn't learn how to ride my bike and was hysterical. I think I was maybe 5 or 6. ☹️

Yes by my step dad, it’s the reason I don’t agree with smacking and would never ever smack my own DC or allow anyone to smack my DC.

Yes.

If we were doing something that could get other people hurt, such as fixing a tripwire when you knew the street bully was going to come hammering down the hill on his bike.
If we were doing something that would likely get us hurt, like jumping off the flat roof of the kitchen across a 10-foot high 3-foot wide gap onto the back garden.
Deliberate or repeated disobedience and cheek. So telling my mother to go to hell when she wanted me to come over and speak to a neighbour about something.

We have a good relationship now. We had boundaries and my parents were never ones to use empty threats. I think the last time I was smacked as a child I was about 7. It was infrequent, and we were always told exactly why we had been smacked if we weren't able to get it ourselves.

Yes and it did harm me. I don't smack my kids. It's just a lack of control and not effective at anything other than instilling fear.

Yes, by both parents. My mum usually because she deemed that I'd been cheeky - on one occasion she needed to leave somewhere early because there were no public toilet & she needed the loo. Apparently I said she could go "in the bushes", which is what my sister & I always had to so. She turned round in the car & walloped me. My dad didn't see, & asked why I was crying when he got back in, so my mum told him. I can't have been more than 3 or 4 as my feet didn't touch the front seat.

My dad occasionally used to hit me, I woke up on the floor once when I was about 9, but he's an alcoholic. I'd got in the way of the drinks cupboard. I never told anyone in RL until a couple of years ago when I mentioned it to DH.

I did smack DD once. Ever since she first learned how to walk (just around her first birthday) she hated riding in the buggy. Always wanted to walk. But, she was a bolter. We had one of those backpack things with the reins on for her. One day, as usual, (much older than just one y/o) she was trying to escape on the way home, I was struggling with the buggy (always necessary as she'd often decide she was tired & just sit down), & she ran out into the road, straight into the path of a car. Thankfully it swerved, & I yanked her back, but it was bloody close. I am disabled, so I struggle with physical things sometimes, & she was too little to understand properly. She was laughing, like it was a game. To add insult to injury, we were practically home. I smacked her, then I got her in the house & just absolutely broke down. I hugged her, said I was sorry for smacking her, & that I was glad she was ok. She was crying but she only started when she saw me crying - when I'd smacked her she just looked surprised, TBH. DH came home about an hour later & I was still a complete mess. I've never smacked her since. It broke my heart.

Yes but only a few times that I can recall, but then I was an easy going, obedient child. I am in my 50s and I have no issues with it, or any resentment towards my parents.

My mum said she did very occasionally smack me when I was small but I can't remember it at all. Certainly not after the age of 5 I assume. I knew she loved me and was not at all scared of her at all.
I remember my dad spanking me once I think but I am.not certain if he did it or if it was a dream. I was scared of my dad though . He would.lose his temper a lot and was emotionally a bit like a child himself but he never drank and worked hard and was reliable so he could.have been worse.

I think my parents were not great parents by the standards of today but that is less to do with smacking than the fact that they came from very poor rural backgrounds whee they went hungry and cold and had very very poor parenting themselves.

Given all that. I did feel loved as a child, perhaps more by my mother but I also knew my father loved me. He just had a hard time showing it.

@KCM99 Totally agree, the way my friends daughter speaks to her and her husband is unbelievable. There is not a chance I would have ever spoke to my parents that way because I respect them.

No, never. and I'm glad I've never smacked ds.

The trouble with violent forms of discipline, however controlled they are, is that they open the gate in susceptible people to go a lot harder, a lot more often.

I have seen a lot of emotional blackmail and relentless negative parenting that I thought were worse than a single smack. But a single smack can go out of control very easily imo.

I was born in the 60's and never smacked.

Yes, my dad did, but I genuinely feel fine with it, and we are very close.

Once when I ran in to the road, he slapped my bum, out of fear I could have been run over more than anything.

Once when I called my mum a bitch. I was young, didn’t really know it was a Really Bad Word.

I really don’t think about it, or think it was a bad thing for me, but I can understand why others wouldn’t agree.

Yep by my mum. Sometimes she would demand my dad smacked me and he would take me in to another room, slap his leg and tell me to cry as he was against it.
Its ineffective as a punishment and just creates fear and mistrust. Glad its illegal now children don't deserve to be struck under any circumstances imo

Yes

Yes. My mum still says it is correct and that children today are rude because they weren't smacked. I initially did smack my children, but would feel guilty - hence became against it. I realised that I was smacked as child, hated it and it still bothers me. Didn't want that kind of relationship with my children. I haven't smacked my youngest, instead talk to him and it works better. I have a better and more honest relationship with my children, than I do with my parents,

I was well behaved and sensible, yet was smacked to teach younger siblings the consequence of bad behaviour. My sisters weren't smacked as much, brothers certainly weren't no matter what crap they did !!!

Also was smacked by mum, supported by dad - religion was basis of discipline.

I was smacked by my mum occasionally but would not class her as abusive, whereas a school friend of mines parents had weird punishments for her , one I remember was having to take her dinner and eat in the corner by the dog bowl as she wasn't displaying good table manners. Her parents never hit but I would class her upbringing as abusive.

Mum used to go out of control with the beatings, while Dad just ignored us until we were teens. That was a fairly typical experience for Indian origin kids at the time. However while my other Indian friends had the discipline offset by over the top affection, as is typical in our culture, we never did. That’s what made our experience abusive.

My dad used to chase me up the stairs and hit me so hard that a red hand mark lasted for hours☹️

Once - by my GM (paternal) aged around 5/6.

My parents never left me alone with her again and my DF had very strong words with his mother (according to DM) that his child was never going to bear the brunt of her hand the way he and his siblings did whilst growing up.

In all honesty I can't even remember it. The only reason I know is because DF/DM told me in response to me questioning why I was allowed to stay alone with maternal GP's but not paternal.

Yes me, by my step-dad