Can we have a confessions thread

[Mother87]

DH bought THE most god-awful 'marl' effect grey denim jeans recently... and wore them THREE times in one week as he LOVED them that much so of course they were put in the outside dustbin just before bin-day as soon as he was away for one night

And yes it was me not some random who knocked over the black electric box thingy by the front of the house

These are quite innocent confessions I know😇

It was me who reported you for tax fraud despite everybody thinking it was your ex husband.

I actually got double the inhertance I told you about. I keep my bank statements and letters well away from you and have sleepless nights in case you find them.
I don't want you 'expecting' new car etc.
You didn't know/show any interest in the person I received it from so why should you reap the benefits.You get more than enough off me.

DH you take the piss out of my prepping, you think I like gardening, in fact I am creating boundaries and no go areas around the house order to funnel potential attacker’s into a kill zone where we can ambush them.

DH, I put your trousers in the washing machine without checking the pockets and broke your Fitbit. Sorry 😬

I just pulled at the threads on my DH 3/4 length short thing's even the DC have told him not to wear then said oh look there's have gone I can't mend that!

When me and cheating EXH we're splitting up but waiting for the house to sell, I used to spit in his cheese and coleslaw sandwiches he'd made before he left for work

Confession to my ex....
The little poo dropping you stepped in that morning, well it wasn’t the cats.

I was having a bad day with IBS and I thought I only needed a fart.

I had a reputation for breaking wine glasses which my ex and his family loved mocking me for and used to drive me mad. So one year his mum bought us pretty ones with a pointed comment about me being more careful in the future. I secretly bought another box and replaced every one I smashed for a good couple of years..

When I was a child I pulled the toilet roll holder out of the wall accidentslly by swinging on it ! My mum was v houseproud and would've gone mad so I just pushed the screws back in.
A couple of nights later I heard mum and dad having words and my dad was saying " honestly it just fell off in my hand ! "
My mum was saying "Don't give me that . You have always been heavy handed , be more careful in future etc ".
I did confess as an adult and we all had a good giggle about it .

I lost my engagement ring 22 years ago. The one I wear, that dh has luckily always assumed is the original, is actually a very close replica from Argos that cost £25.

Hi there stbxh you fuckwit just to let you know you may need a new toothbrush in your new flat with your new "friend "... just saying
Also when you go to wear your new expensive suit you had to buy even though I could only buy from charity shops , you may find that the stitching isn't very good
And .. while we are confessing it was my fault you didn't get the chance of that fab new job.. cos why should you work with victims of DV with what you did to me
Hey that feels good!

Plate glass door - I caught my hip on the handle and it bloody hurt and I kicked at the door in anger. It smashed in great big jaggedly pieces. Well dangerous!

Told my parents I’d tripped and hit into it and that’s how it smashed.

My best friend still thinks I got 67 overall in our final uni exams 20 years ago, beating his 65 (we did the same course). I actually got 63 . I just couldn't face him gloating for the rest of our lives!

It wasn't our toddler who spilt pink lemonade over daddy's MacBook... it was me. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thankfully computer was saved but I still felt massive shame for lying. (And then utter despair at myself when I then spilt pink lemonade again but this time over my own laptop a few weeks later- the good outcome is I'm off carbonated drinks for a long time!!)

My aunt wouldn't let me and my uni friends use her beach cottage because my cousin and her uni friends had left it in such a mess.

I was furious about being punished for my cousins behaviour so we broke in and stayed there anyway, and then did a commando backwards clean.

and I still haven't told her

@midsummabreak that's a really caring mum, good on you! Hope you include chunks of steak and chicken as well

you are right that veg diet gets imbalanced quite quickly

everyone knows

MrsGary

Olderthanilook - i don't feel so bad about DH's 'grey marl-effect' monstrosities now

mummabubs you need a sippy cup.

I've been pretty good recently but when DH used to leave his ties lying around the bedroom I used to give them a good yank to tighten up the knot and then fling them into the bottom of the wardrobe. By the time he ran out of ties and went looking for them the creases from the knot were very difficult to iron out.

Oh God (literally in this case!)

I've had a PM from a concerned poster, so just in case anyone else might be thinking the same thing, I just want to point out that when aforementioned kiss with priest happened, I was in my twenties at the time and he was in his thirties, so it definitely wasn't a case of abuse or grooming or anything like that.

Thank you to the poster though for your concern.

I smashed the wing mirror off DH van, I didn't find it like that when I came out of work

I backed our 6 month old car into a pillar and dented the back bumper.

When I got home, I reversed the car onto the driveway so DH didn't see. We then went out in the car and parked in a public car park.

When we got back to the car, I "noticed" the dent and was outraged that the car with the bike rack behind us that was parked there when we'd arrived but had subsequently gone, had damaged our car!!

My friend at work thinks I walk 3 miles out of my way to go check up on her dog after a long shift at work
I don’t-seeing me appearing then going again sets him off barking and chewing things out of pure stress
I did call ss on somebody cos her smack habit was causing real problems-she thinks it was her mother
I did dob the kids father in at the job centre-he was working and claiming but not paying me any csa cos ‘she’ll only spend it on herself’
Couldn’t afford them but could afford go go on holiday 3 times a week
Ditto calling crime stoppers for having £10,000 of fake money on him at any one time and dealing drugs which got him 7 years in prison
He thinks it was a rival gang
I’d tell the kids we had no junk in and eat it when they where in bed

I’m not sorry

*a week?a year!