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Original poster

Just found this in dd suitcase *pic* Where do I leave it?!

210 replies

ISayWhatNow · 03/07/2019 09:14

What do I do with it?! It's in a big suitcase that she's brought home from boarding school and I'm sorting out her washing because she's going away for a month. She's still at school.

I have no problem with it at all, but I really, REALLY don't want to embarrass her. Where can I leave it surreptitiously?! To make matters worse the suitcase is being thrown out today because it's broken so I can't just leave it in her room - it would look very obvious and then she'd be embarrassed.

Arghh!

Just found this in dd suitcase *pic* Where do I leave it?!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Faez · 03/07/2019 09:57

Just chuck the whole lot and never mention it, at some point she'll remember what was left in there. Pretend none of it ever happened.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2019 09:58

Actually, she needed to get her washing sorted if you're flying tomorrow at 6am.

The fact she's left it to mum to sort means she'll have no room to complain about where you place her bottle of lube.

Just stick it in her bedside cabinet or leave it on her bed.

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 03/07/2019 09:59

I want to deal with this sensitively. Maybe I can pop it in another bag, that might work. The used condoms are definitely going!

OP posts:
Wheelerdeeler · 03/07/2019 10:00

I would text her and say you didn't appreciate the used condoms you found and could she dispose of them in a bin in futurre

BurnedToast · 03/07/2019 10:01

Just leave the suitcase and say you haven't had time to deal with it. Surely she has other clothes and seeing as she's back tomorrow then it should be fine.

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 03/07/2019 10:02

Wouldn't anyone be embarrassed at the fact that someone else had to unpack their lube and used condoms Worra?!

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 03/07/2019 10:02

Worra - when exactly does she have the time to do her washing?? She's not home until 8 tonight and there's a lot to do. We fly at 6am. There literally won't be time and I wouldn't leave my tired dd to come home to piles of dirty clothes to get ready for the early hours.

Each to their own I suppose....

OP posts:
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 03/07/2019 10:03

Don't be embarrassed. She's an adult, doing adult things in a responsible fashion and deserves privacy.

She'll need her lube and condoms for the month you are away, though.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2019 10:05

Has this holiday been sprung on her as a massive surprise then? Confused

If you know you're going away for a month, you don't leave your washing til the last minute and then expect someone else to do it for you.

Honestly, she's nearly an adult and it doesn't seem to have entered your head that she should have done her own washing days ago.

MNHQ
JoMumsnet · 03/07/2019 10:05

Morning, we've had a few reports about this thread so we're just putting our heads round the door to confirm that the OP's a long-term member of the site - if we had any major concerns we'd have taken it straight down.

OP, if you want us to remove the washing pics, let us know.

sacope · 03/07/2019 10:05

Why do you keep ignoring the question about why she would be embarrassed?

You say you helped her get the pill and you have open conversations, so why is this deemed 'embarrassing'?

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 03/07/2019 10:05

Ok, I'll repack the suitcase with the stuff that didn't need washing and leave the lube in situ. Then I can pretend I never saw it. As pp have quite rightly said, I'll just pretend that I didn't have time.

Thanks for the views all!

OP posts:
sacope · 03/07/2019 10:06

To be fair @WorraLiberty if her clothes are at home and she isn't then she can't be washing them.

WillowintheUK · 03/07/2019 10:06

Oh for pete’s sake, this is a non event. Throw the condoms out, pop the lube in her bedside drawer. And if you’re so close it’s perfectly possible to just ask her not to send her used condoms home for you to deal with. The only one who appears embarrassed about it all is you.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2019 10:07

Contessa, used condoms yes. Anyone would be ashamed that someone else had to discover those.

But lube? No. Especially as the OP says they have a healthy attitude towards sex.

It's just a product. Much like any other.

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 03/07/2019 10:08

Worra - what part of she's at BOARDING school do you not get?! She's NOT AT HOME so she hasn't had time to sort her washing out. I do have time and of course Im going to do it. What parent wouldn't?!

OP posts:
codenameduchess · 03/07/2019 10:09

I'd be tempted to have a word about the used condoms. That's grim, she knew you be emptying the suitcase and sent you giz puddles 🤢

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2019 10:12

I get every single part of 'BOARDING' school Confused

She's left piles of dirty washing for someone else to sort and deal with before going back to 'BOARDING' school.

Therefore, she has no room to complain about being 'embarrassed' as she couldn't be bothered to sort her own clothes out.

Though as a PP said, it looks like you're the only one who's embarrassed about seeing a tube of lubricant Confused

Sparklingbrook · 03/07/2019 10:14

How is laundry usually done at boarding school?

GreyBasket · 03/07/2019 10:14

If she is having sex is either her or her BF's school, they run the risk of both being expelled.

It's stupid to gamble with her A levels like this (presuming she is lower Sixth here and 18 in September?)

Please do talk to her. I know of several students from different schools who have been asked to leave. Schools take it very seriously and if she's daft enough to leave this stuff where you can find it, she will get caught.

EggysMom · 03/07/2019 10:14

For goodness sake. Take out the clothes, wash what is required. Throw the condoms. Put the lube on the bedside table, she'll get over her embarrassment at knowing her Mum has seen it. Have a conversation, at an appropriate time, regarding hygiene and disposal of used condoms correctly. You're going to create more embarrassment by the subterfuge, just be adult and open about this.

bratzilla · 03/07/2019 10:17

Fair enough if you’re happy cleaning up used condoms, most parents wouldn’t be.

OffYouPopDoll · 03/07/2019 10:37

Just out the lube in her room throw out the condoms and remind her to dispose of them correctly

I remember when my mum asked me plain as day over a cuppa... have you got a any lube love I've run out... we always had a great relationship and I always felt confident speaking to her and my dad about sex, i was 20 at the time but it still didnt stop the spitting of tea everywhere in shock she asked. 🤣🤣 yeah mum it's in the bed side drawer... she also took three of my condoms without asking ..wasnt impressed and it was also a bit...... gross.... I knew exactly what mum and dad where up to that weekend 🤮 it's funny now but still weird me out a bit.

statetrooperstacey · 03/07/2019 10:39

Really wouldn’t worry about it. My daughter asked me to hold her handbag for her once, we were sitting next to each other, it started vibrating😳😬 that was awkward!! Just put it on her bed with other stuff, laundry etc

SlothMama · 03/07/2019 10:47

She's 17, if she was younger I'd be concerned however I would address leaving used condoms in her suitcase as that's just disgusting.