Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I think my husband has been sacked

162 replies

Dogsaresomucheasier · 01/07/2019 20:15

I know work has been going badly for him, but now a p45 has shown up. ( yes, I know I shouldn’t have opened it, but you know when you know something’s not right!) We have a mortgage and 3dc, what the hell do I do or say?
He’s not intentionally crap or lazy, but getting too old for what he does. He’s “at work” now. I’ve tried to call and been told he’s not there. I’m worried for his mental health and how the hell we’re going to cope. What paperwork should he have? How easy is it to get a job in say a shop if you’ve been sacked from something else?

OP posts:
ProfessorofPerspective · 02/07/2019 01:02

Well, if it's any consolation, my DH invented a whole 6 week contract after one had finished partly through his fluctuating health, he even took a phone interview upstairs in the bedroom, I could hear him talking....

I look at photos of him during that time and it still amazes me. He was just in shock and denial. Apparently, he sat in the car in the countryside and watched films on his phone. I used to send him off with a packed lunch!

Anyway, this was a few years ago, he had some time out as, looking back, he'd really not been well for quite a while. He went back to work in a slightly more gentle position before building back up.

We're all good now but I am still baffled by the whole experience - how awful for him to know that it could spill out at any moment and the balloon will go up the minute no 'salary' appears.

Good luck OP

MyOtherProfile · 02/07/2019 05:57

OP I really hope you and your DH are ok.

Zoflorabore · 02/07/2019 06:12

This is more common than you think and like a pp suggested, it's very much to do with pride, shame, guilt etc.

I hope you've managed to speak to your dh op. The relief will be immense no doubt.
It's time to concentrate on things you can change and things you can control rather than those you can't.

My dad is early 60's and was made redundant recently ( sales type job ) and has already found another. I know it's not always that easy but age should not be a factor in his success going forward.

I wish you both wellFlowers

Original poster
Dogsaresomucheasier · 02/07/2019 06:25

Thank you everyone. We’ve both had a good cry, feel very scared, but it’s out in the open.

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 02/07/2019 06:27

Glad it's in the open.

Original poster
Dogsaresomucheasier · 02/07/2019 06:29

He’s been a prize prat, hiding how far the disciplinary process had been going for about 6 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogsaresomucheasier · 02/07/2019 06:31

He has been shit, clearly now too old for the role, company understandably worried about Brexit, and out of patience with him😢

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 02/07/2019 06:33

best of luck op,
he will be ok, you will be ok

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 02/07/2019 06:37
Thanks
Saltystraw · 02/07/2019 06:44

I’m glad it’s out in the open.. it’s never easy to lose job but especially as you get older! Good luck!

Oblomov19 · 02/07/2019 06:44

Glad it's out in the open OP.
Now you can deal with it all.

KatherineJaneway · 02/07/2019 06:49

Glad all is out in the open now. Now you can move forwards.

Tuktuktaker · 02/07/2019 06:58

Good luck to you both, OP.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 02/07/2019 07:07

He’s lucky to have you OP.

Alexkate2468 · 02/07/2019 07:14

Wishing you all the best and hoping you’ll get through it together. ‘For bettter or worse, richer or poorer....’ hugs.

Snog · 02/07/2019 08:13

I feel for you both. Going through disciplinary for competence is a really shitty experience and can also be very bad for your mental health and confidence.

probstimeforanewname · 02/07/2019 09:22

Is there any kind of package? At the very least I think they owe him outplacement support after 20 years' service, however rubbish they may think he has been latterly.

ScreamingValenta · 02/07/2019 09:29

Sorry to hear this - hopefully your DH will at least feel better now it's in the open. I hope he finds something else soon.

RebootYourEngine · 02/07/2019 09:52

Bit of a shit situation for you both. Have you come up with a plan going forward?

You keep saying that he is too old for the job he did, what job was that?

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2019 09:57

At the very least I think they owe him outplacement support after 20 years' service, however rubbish they may think he has been latterly

This would be very unusual for someone who has been fired I'm afraid.

ticking · 02/07/2019 10:06

The employment ship has sailed unfortunately

If he was earlier in the process he should have gone to his GP, been signed off with work related stress, (if applicable, I think it was in this case), then this would have triggered some more supportive responses from the company.

ISmellBabies · 02/07/2019 10:25

Bear in mind if the company has done anything wrong there are strict timescales for going to tribunal so you need to do that sooner rather than later, if that's the case.

EdtheBear · 02/07/2019 10:38

Op you'll get through it. Look after yourselves.

ElektraUnchained · 02/07/2019 10:50

Is he able to get a reference from them? What is his pension like if he was to start claiming?

Poor you and poor him as well.

Coop14 · 02/07/2019 10:56

Aww sorry to hear what happened but I'm sure you will both come out the other side you sound like a really supportive person. Good luck xxx