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Original poster

DH smashed DS's phone

999 replies

thiscountryfan · 30/06/2019 20:12

So yesterday I walked in to the mother of all rows between DH and DS (14).

DS was screaming and raging at DH for stamping on his phone and more than likely fatally damaging it. According to DH, he had discovered DS had been stealing his beers (not for the 1st time), then lied about it, then smirked in DH's face when busted. DH just lost his shit at that point and grabbed the phone (possibly the only item that DS cares about).

DH has since apologised to DS and accepts
It wasn't his finest hour but point blank refuses to pay for replacement/repair - saying he is sick of DS's selfish rude attitude of late and that he needs to learn a lesson.

I'm torn. I certainly don't agree with what DH did (and he knows it) but quite frankly DS has been so utterly horrendous and perhaps needs to
Understand that parents are human too.

OP posts:
DecomposingComposers · 03/07/2019 19:42

What if he had punched a hole in the wall?

What if my granny had wheels, she'd be a bus. None of those things happened. He didn't punch the wall or kick the cat. Yes, it wasn't great but it is not the terrible action that many on here are saying it is. I've lost my temper. My parents lost their tempers. People on here have said they've lost their tempers. Show me anyone who says that they have never lost their tempers and I will show you a liar.

If this is a one off in an otherwise loving, nurturing relationship then I think it's much better than a child raised in a family where no one cares enough to get upset about them going off the rails, or in one where the parenting style is of the quiet, flies under the radar, constant put downs and criticism type.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:43

Pumperthepumper I real do hope your life continues to be so, it is nice to hear your lifestyle works for you....
Wishing you lots of cuddles from your little ones.. .

Thank you. I hope yours improves so you don’t feel you have to accept violence as just part of life.

sacope · 03/07/2019 19:44

I think the people who have little people not teenagers have no idea what is heading your way.

I have successfully parented 2 of mine into adulthood, thanks.

These sweet easy to explain to little people turn over night into room monsters who peek out for food ...

Well, sometimes. It all depends how you treat them and connect with them before they hit that age.

never let them take food upstairs by the way....with demands for things you can't afford and views that you ruined their life by not paying £2,500 for a week to New York...

Oh; I let mine take food upstairs and this never happened.

Another post of absolute nonsense from mummy

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Families
DecomposingComposers · 03/07/2019 19:45

If this man's aim was to permanently remove the phone then why not take the phone and put it in his pocket?

The OP said that they've removed it in the past but the boy kicks off until he gets it back. Maybe this time the dad thought "sod it. You aren't getting it back, you've gone too far" so smashed it.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:49

Pumperthepumper there is no violence in my life.. ...
I was strict as a single mum, as my children would push boundaries, but now they are all great grown ups much sort after as they are helpful and kind, they bring friends home and my friends come to stay. In fact I am classed as the voice of reason and end up talking friends down from bad decisions. I just hate injustice, and find it hard to walk away when I should ....

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:49

'Confusing'?

'A really bad idea that shows zero evidence of consciousness of broader issues around body privacy'?

She doesn't seem confused to me, but OK. As for body privacy she is 3 she regularly runs around the house naked as do I.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:51

The OP said that they've removed it in the past but the boy kicks off until he gets it back. Maybe this time the dad thought "sod it. You aren't getting it back, you've gone too far" so smashed it.

Another example of you deliberately missing the point to absolve the man of any wrong doing. The issue isn’t that he lost his temper, it’s that he lost his temper and resorted to violence - that’s been pointed out to you so many times I honestly think you must be on the wide up by now. If his thought process was a rational ‘I’ll show him’, why not sell the phone? Or give it away? Why smash it to bits? Why resort to violence? He did it in the heat of the moment because his child smirked at him and he couldn’t handle it, and he became violent. So my two questions to you are: how much violence do you allow in your home? And: what punishment should the Op’s husband get?

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:53

I just hate injustice, and find it hard to walk away when I should ....

And yet, you are supporting the violent father in this thread not the fourteen year old child. It’s interesting how you see injustice.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:58

The dad is not violent.
The dad never loses his temper.
The son has lied ,stolen and been rude....
The son lied to the dad's face and laughed at him. ..
This is not the first time the son had done this but it was the first time the dad reacted...

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:59

He did lose his temper.

He was violent.

His son is fourteen. And you think he should take the blame in this situation with a fully grown adult in a position of authority over him?

Your injustice meter is broken.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 20:01

If as someone said the son carried on like this with there never being any come back, and the son got hit in a pub, and witness said the son started the fight would you rather someone broke his nose, than his phone.

sacope · 03/07/2019 20:02

@mummmy2017 why are you posting yet another nonsense scenario Hmm

Leatherflamingle · 03/07/2019 20:04

The Dad may never have been a perpetrator of domestic violence before. But now he is.
Sad for everyone involved but the facts are on the table.

Potato2242 · 03/07/2019 20:04

He stole the beer and can't return it in the same state he found it. Your husband took the phone and now can't return it in the same state. Eye for an eye.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 20:04

A 14 year old can be and often is taller and bigger than his dad. . This boy knew what he was doing ,when does he become culpable for his actions....

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 20:05

If as someone said the son carried on like this with there never being any come back, and the son got hit in a pub, and witness said the son started the fight would you rather someone broke his nose, than his phone.

More bullshit but - yes, I would rather he was a one-off victim of random violence by a total stranger than a victim of violence in his own home by his own father.

Leatherflamingle · 03/07/2019 20:07

Eye for an eye is a horrible phrase which is used to justify honor killings, rapes and other awful crimes against women throughout the world.
It’s just vile, and that example isn’t correct anyway. Otherwise the son would be smashing up the dads phone too.

sacope · 03/07/2019 20:09

This boy knew what he was doing ,when does he become culpable for his actions....

Have you got ANY idea how stupid this sounds?

The son was wrong yes. Nobody, not a single person, not one, has said otherwise.

He is not, in any way, responsible for the actions of his father. Not at all.

Why do tI not seem to be able to grasp this very fucking simple concept?

14 year olds are not responsible for the actions of an adult. Ever.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 20:09

But the law says after 10 years old you are legally responsible for your own actions...
Therefore in law he knows he is prevoking a fight.....
100% better your dad breaks a phone than some causes bodily damage to you.

sacope · 03/07/2019 20:10

Eye for an eye.

How intelligent Confused

Leatherflamingle · 03/07/2019 20:10

What a silly scenario @mummy2017

sacope · 03/07/2019 20:10

@mummmy2017

Go to bed.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 20:11

sacope do you need a scarf on your pedestal.

Leatherflamingle · 03/07/2019 20:12

What does that mean Grin?

sacope · 03/07/2019 20:12

sacope do you need a scarf on your pedestal.

Confused

I think you should probably stop now. Honestly, it's for the best. This isn't really going well for you.

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