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Original poster

DH smashed DS's phone

999 replies

thiscountryfan · 30/06/2019 20:12

So yesterday I walked in to the mother of all rows between DH and DS (14).

DS was screaming and raging at DH for stamping on his phone and more than likely fatally damaging it. According to DH, he had discovered DS had been stealing his beers (not for the 1st time), then lied about it, then smirked in DH's face when busted. DH just lost his shit at that point and grabbed the phone (possibly the only item that DS cares about).

DH has since apologised to DS and accepts
It wasn't his finest hour but point blank refuses to pay for replacement/repair - saying he is sick of DS's selfish rude attitude of late and that he needs to learn a lesson.

I'm torn. I certainly don't agree with what DH did (and he knows it) but quite frankly DS has been so utterly horrendous and perhaps needs to
Understand that parents are human too.

OP posts:

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:12

Personally I wouldn’t want my 3 year old knowing about getting a smack for being naughty.

But she doesn't actually get smacked for being naughty... Neither did I as a child. It's simply a gam and she loves it.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2019 19:13

Au contraire, I am absolutely suggesting there are reasons why he did what he did..

The reasons are clear - he couldn't handle that smirk.

I have managed to bring up five children without ever doing something like this man did.

One of my DCs was recently diagnosed with PTSD however, because her dad, whom she saw EOW, had the attitude that he would rather his children fear him than love him.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2019 19:15

Owl, hopefully you have explained to your 3 yo that this 'game' is only to be played in the home, because if she tries it on children she encounters in the park there will be raised eyebrows among the parents there, and actually many of the young smackees will object to it too.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Families

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:17

Maths that does mean your views are coloured by what you know....
OP said it happened after both the mum and the dad had been upset by his behaviour, so the son clearly has issues with parental authority.

sacope · 03/07/2019 19:21

In the time we have been on this thread I bet well over a dozen parents have broken their children's phones for similar reasons.

Lots of awful things have happened since we have been on this thread. To children and adults. Bad things happening doesn't make this ok.

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:22

Owl, hopefully you have explained to your 3 yo that this 'game' is only to be played in the home

Of course. I've never seen her do it outside of the home. I don't get why 'game' is in quotations. How is it any different to me saying with a smile "is someone being cheeky? Then I'll EAT YOU" and then chasing her and pretending to bite her" again she hasn't actually been cheeky, and I'm not actually biting her. She's never bitten anyone as far as I know.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:22

What's that for? She's aware a smack is being hit on the bum, we just make jokes about it. You know like play fighting.

Why though? Why not just play tig, why have the smacking element? I’m not really sure what your point is.

sacope · 03/07/2019 19:23

Had a Barrister storm out of court as I made him look stupid, he is one of the top 100 in the country....

There is only one person you are making look stupid here mummy2017.....

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:24

Me and my little brother would play fight at home all the time, doesn't mean we went out and fought with kids in the park.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:24

But unless you teach a child boundaries how can you expect them to grow up to be good people.?
Each child is different, some are more selfish than others .

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:26

sacope don't try to bully me, I just think it means you know I have a point...

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:26

Why though? Why not just play tig, why have the smacking element?

Because she likes being smacked on the bum. Sometimes I play songs on it. I don't get the issue at all. We play tag too.

My point was a child can know what a smack is without is being some kind of abuse. What else should I call the game? Maybe "bum-drum" will do, does have a nice ring to it actually.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:27

Me and my little brother would play fight at home all the time, doesn't mean we went out and fought with kids in the park.

I still don’t get your point - that you can play fake-violence but it doesn’t spill over to real life?

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:28

My point was a child can know what a smack is without is being some kind of abuse. What else should I call the game? Maybe "bum-drum" will do, does have a nice ring to it actually.

I see. Well, my three year old doesn’t know what a smack is, and we just play tig. I’m happy with that, you do you.

mathanxiety · 03/07/2019 19:32

You are yet another poster here who doesn't understand the meaning of the word boundaries, Mummmy.

Boundaries are what you put around you. You teach your children to put healthy boundaries around themselves by your fair and calm leadership and example. You encourage the development of boundaries in children by respecting theirs - as an example, we do not hit them and we explicitly tell them, 'We must not hit because hitting hurts others'. You model better ways of dealing with difficult situations or emotions that are overwhemling. So the children learn to control themselves. Boundaries are not rules that you impose in order to control them.

As an aside, and on the topic of boundaries, we do not create games that involve hitting even if it is done playfully because we respect the fact that children need unambiguous messages.

sacope · 03/07/2019 19:34

sacope don't try to bully me, I just think it means you know I have a point...

Bully you? Sorry?

I just pointed you out to be lying. As did several other posters.

Fuck off with your bullying accusations, again!

I don't agree with your view in this and I never will. That's doesn't make me a bully. It makes me someone who has a different opinion.

You have posted some absolute bollocks throughout this thread. Given examples of things that never happened and outright lies about court to try and solidify the idea that the son is to blame.

It has been pointed out more than once that you clearly have low standards when it comes to men and violence because you can't seem to understand that the only person accountable for the father action is in fact, the father.

I'm not bullying you; I feel sorry for you.

DecomposingComposers · 03/07/2019 19:34

But they don't get physically hurt, or have their property destroyed by legitimate authority.

Err, yes they do - the police seize vehicles for various reasons and crush them. That's the consequence of committing certain offences - your property is seized and destroyed by legitimate authority.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:34

I think the people who have little people not teenagers have no idea what is heading your way.
These sweet easy to explain to little people turn over night into room monsters who peek out for food ...never let them take food upstairs by the way....with demands for things you can't afford and views that you ruined their life by not paying £2,500 for a week to New York...

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 19:36

if it is done playfully because we respect the fact that children need unambiguous messages

That's great, my child seems to understand that it's a game she and her mum play though, she goes to nursery and not once has she done anything in that vein to another child, she gets glowing reports about her behaviour so for me I just don't see it as the problem you do. Sorry anyway, this was just supposed to be about the one reply.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:36

mummmmy I have more than one child. If I ever decide to change how I parent and start being violent to them for not obeying me and the laws of my house then you’ll be the first person I update. Just now though, we muddle along fine - no violence. None.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:38

Maths hats off to you, even when your wrong your so sure your right, is it very cold on that pedestal you live on...
I don't need to lie as my life has been too much fun, drama heart ache and pain...

Aquilla · 03/07/2019 19:38

I would be fully supporting your dh on this one.

Pumperthepumper · 03/07/2019 19:39

Owlchemist I think you might have missed a bit - a pp posted a story about a nursery kid who misinterpreted their mum brushing mud off them as a smack. I suggested it was probably a good thing that the child didn’t know what a smack was.

mummmy2017 · 03/07/2019 19:41

Pumperthepumper I real do hope your life continues to be so, it is nice to hear your lifestyle works for you....
Wishing you lots of cuddles from your little ones.. .

mathanxiety · 03/07/2019 19:42

What else should I call the game?

'Confusing'?

'A really bad idea that shows zero evidence of consciousness of broader issues around body privacy'?

It's really a bad idea to make a game of touching the private parts. If you need this explained I am happy to do it but you shouldn't need an explanation.

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