DH smashed DS's phone

[thiscountryfan]

So yesterday I walked in to the mother of all rows between DH and DS (14).

DS was screaming and raging at DH for stamping on his phone and more than likely fatally damaging it. According to DH, he had discovered DS had been stealing his beers (not for the 1st time), then lied about it, then smirked in DH's face when busted. DH just lost his shit at that point and grabbed the phone (possibly the only item that DS cares about).

DH has since apologised to DS and accepts
It wasn't his finest hour but point blank refuses to pay for replacement/repair - saying he is sick of DS's selfish rude attitude of late and that he needs to learn a lesson.

I'm torn. I certainly don't agree with what DH did (and he knows it) but quite frankly DS has been so utterly horrendous and perhaps needs to
Understand that parents are human too.

I'm with your DH here. I bet that punishment wiped the smirk off your thieving son's face....

Please don’t breed

If it's illegal to do to some random adult in the street, it shouldn't be done in the home. Because it's wrong.

It's not a punishment, it's a man demonstrating to his son that you deal with anger by smashing stuff up.

This sort of shitty 'parenting' is not uncommon. Though Op's abusive H is not quite in the top category of abuse-as-discipline scumbags - that level is reserved for the ones (and there are, horrifyingly, quite a few of them) who don''t just destroy their DC's property, but film the procedure and put it on social media. These cunts have fans who, like some of the vicious idiots on this thread, think that terrorizing your children is good parenting and that you deserve submission and deference despite the fact that you are a failure of a person and can only obtain the sort of cowed worship you crave by resorting to violence.

I wouldn't support my DH in this at all. The lesson is if your DS gets annoyed enough it is fine to smash things up, not the best message. If me and DH had a huge row and he smashed my stuff up I would be leaving him. If you had said your husband had done this to you for smirking at him then the answers would be different. I also hate those parents on FB who smash up their kids stuff. It is a loss of control and I lived with a father who would flip like this sometimes.

I think the issues need to be seperated. His rude behaviour needs to be dealt with obviously but your DH also needs to find a way of controlling his anger as teenagers can be really annoying

When you have lived in a home where you look around at the few precious , yet low value items that represent your life, and wonder which one will be destroyed next, it destroys every inch of your being. When you know everything is fair game, treasures made for you by your children, Christmas trinkets from times gone by, your clothes, the lipstick you bought to bring a little lift to your day, it takes every grain of your self esteem away. Heaven forbid the ‘team dh ers’ on this thread are raising sons that will unleash this on the women in their lives at a later date. The repercussions of this type of abuse are so , so extreme. It’s heartbreaking that anyone thinks it’s ok.

op how are things in your house today ?

AnyFucker..at the risk of being ripped to shreds, surprisingly calm. DH knows he is in the wrong, this is his responsibility and that he needs to be put things right. We also need to discuss boundaries for DS and APPROPRIATE consequences for ignoring them.

DH also knows how upset I am and that this will not/ cannot happen again.

Who knew anyone could be violent to a phone

Is this supposed to be facetiously amusing? How can you read the posts on this thread and be a bloody adult in the wider world with a modicum of awareness and post this?

I thought it was disgusting when Kirsty Allsop did it too. Anyone can be abusive, rich or poor.
That she framed it as a perfect decision meant absolute fuck all to me, given that I’ve been on the receiving end and I know the damage this stuff does.

To call it violent is ridiculous though

My comment in context was in reply to a rather silly 'violence is violence, it's not much more of a step to smashing someone in the face' comment

You're simply wrong.

Consider educating yourself about what actually constitutes violent behaviour. It isn't just 'smashing someone in the face.' You really should know this in order to prevent possible future insensitive/dickish comments.

Oh well violence is what it is.
Regardless of what you want to call it.
In times gone by they used to call beating children discipline. Now they call it abuse.
Destroying people’s things is violence.

Did Allsop throw the iPads away or break them?

Oh she smashed them, never mind

If a friend comes to you and tells you her partner destroys her things, there is only ONE line of advice.
Leave him. This is domestic violence.

She smashed them and then she said
‘Not in a violent way’
Regardless of if she did it slowly and meticulously with a maribou trimmed hammer or if she kicked it through the window, the fact she did it at all is utterly awful.

I too completely and utterly disagree with Anyfuckers original post, which is being quoted:

"My comment in context was in reply to a rather silly 'violence is violence, it's not much more of a step to smashing someone in the face' comment.

I totally disagree with Anyfucker. On this one. And when I read the original comment I just thought:

Oh purlease. FFS!!

It's not ideal. But, Comparing it 'violence' to smacking someone in the face, is simply bollocks.

No. In this context, it is.
You’re just wrong.

Of course that is the slippery slope to smashing them in the face.
What do you think the slippery slope to smashing them in the face looks like?