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Original poster

If you're an atheist, would you have a relationship with someone with a faith?

256 replies

IWantToBeLizzieNotCharlotte · 29/06/2019 16:53

I've just started using Bumble and there's an option to show if you're atheist/Christian/Jewish/agnostic.

A lot of men are atheist so I've assumed that it's a no-go. But it's really quite a lot of men. Am I being too picky? I wouldn't know if I met them in a bar if they were atheist Confused

OP posts:
Gertie75 · 29/06/2019 16:55

I wouldn't, religion is such a big thing and I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who believed that any kind of God existed.

Plump82 · 29/06/2019 16:55

Honestly no. I struggle with religion and the whole idea of it so just couldn't have a relationship with someone religious

MWNA · 29/06/2019 16:56

It'd be a huge no for me.

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Original poster
IWantToBeLizzieNotCharlotte · 29/06/2019 16:56

That's what I thought. Thank you :)

OP posts:
Whoseagooddoggiethen · 29/06/2019 16:57

No from me.

Pipandmum · 29/06/2019 16:58

My dad was an atheist and he married my mum who went to mass every day. He was happy for her to raise us as Catholics. And she didn’t mind him not going to mass. So it can work but they’d have to talk about raising the kids etc before it got too serious.

NabooThatsWho · 29/06/2019 16:59

No, I can’t take religion seriously so it just wouldn’t work.

Pipandmum · 29/06/2019 16:59

Oh and I married an atheist too.

mynameiscalypso · 29/06/2019 17:00

I'm an atheist and my husband is Catholic. No big deal as far as I'm concerned.

unboxaLoeweHammock · 29/06/2019 17:00

It depends.

My mother who has a faith doesn't seem to understand that you can be an athiest and still be a good person. She sees people with faith as better. She is blind to all the abuses that have happened in the name of religion. Those people weren't religious.

I asked her if being a good person because of the ''reward'' of an afterlife was inherently superior to an athiest just being a good person because that's who they want to be, but she couldn't /wouldn't answer.

So that type of religious person, no. But they're not all the same.

ConfusedandContrary · 29/06/2019 17:00

Some would and do but for me it'd be a deal breaker. I wouldn't consider it.

hidinginthenightgarden · 29/06/2019 17:00

I wouldn't. Too manyt what ifs and differences.
I wouldn't want my children christened, don't want to attend church, wouldn't want children to go to a faith school etc.

GrouchyKiwi · 29/06/2019 17:02

I'm a Christian, my husband is an atheist. We mostly agree to disagree. It does help, though, that he was brought up a Christian so knows what it all means.

ConfusedandContrary · 29/06/2019 17:02

I also wouldn't date someone who believed in homeopathy/flat Earth/ghosts/magic etc either.

Original poster
IWantToBeLizzieNotCharlotte · 29/06/2019 17:03

I wouldn't mind someone who just didn't believe, but if I'm lucky enough to have children I'd want to bring them up in the faith.

OP posts:
Frith2013 · 29/06/2019 17:04

No.

I find it very hard to respect people who rely on the supernatural, not logic and reason.

MenuPlant · 29/06/2019 17:05

I'm an athiest dh believes in 'something' but not organised religion, no worship or anything, it's fine.

Also lots of my friends are catholic in theory and would id as such but it's more cultural than deep belief, that would be fine too

I know people who are devout, their religion is v important present in daily life and informing lots of stuff, that would be a no to be with an athiest I'd say, but I doubt they would date one.

Loopytiles · 29/06/2019 17:05

That would be the main problem for me, I wouldn’t have wanted DC with anyone who would want to tell DC that religion is fact or practice the religion with them.

happypotamus · 29/06/2019 17:05

Well, my DH did. We met online but not OLD, we were online friends first and I don't think the question of religion came up initially. Things didn't develop into a relationship until we had known each other online for a couple of years and had met up in real life several times. Now, more than 15 years later, I can't remember the exact time scales etc, but he must have known that I was Catholic and attended church before we got into a relationship. I don't agree with everything the Catholic church says but I go to Mass most weeks (would go more often if it wasn't for work), but my faith hasn't impacted on our relationship much. We disagree about some things, especially since having DC, but we also disagree on other things not related to religion and we manage to disagree amicably.

Cannyhandleit · 29/06/2019 17:07

No I wouldn't!

ConfusedandContrary · 29/06/2019 17:10

I think that raising any children in a faith would be where many Atheists draw the line, even if they're willing to date someone who who believes in a god. So I don't think you're being too picky at all. It's perfectly reasonable for you to want a relationship with someone who has similar feelings or who at least has no objections to raising your children in your faith.

Good luck with dating. I hope that you find the right person for you.

BullBullBull · 29/06/2019 17:10

Deal breaker for me. I despise religion

happypotamus · 29/06/2019 17:11

More people have posted re DC since I started typing my post. I don't tell my DC that Catholic faith is fact. I take them to church, but they will be free to make their own decisions whether they believe any of it. They know that DH doesn't come to church because he doesn't believe it and that is ok. I am happy for him to tell them that he doesn't believe the same things as I do and why. DC were christened, because it was very important to me, but I do acknowledge that was probably very difficult for him. There was no expectation for him to participate in the ceremony at all. I actually didn't even know if he would come to the church until the day of DC1's christening. DC1 does go to Catholic school, but that is because it is the only good school near us. I had no wish for them to go to Catholic school, and I let DH have the final say on whether it was too much after looking round the school and the alternative options (only about 50% of the children there are Catholic)

teyem · 29/06/2019 17:13

No.

hoorayforharoldlloyd · 29/06/2019 17:18

No because i wanted children. I was actually brought up catholic and my dad was protestant but I've never believed. You'd be better off waiting for someone who believes similar to you - or who doesn't believe in god but has absolutely no hang ups re your religion eg my friend is atheist of the no religion type and married to a catholic. They have 2 kids and will be told there are lots of different views in the world.

Also, from personal experience, respect your child if they don't agree with you and don't want to go to church.

Good luck finding a good un! Having met my own partner online, i think you are better off sticking to what you want around religion - it will take longer but it's more likely to work.