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Original poster

If you're an atheist, would you have a relationship with someone with a faith?

256 replies

IWantToBeLizzieNotCharlotte · 29/06/2019 16:53

I've just started using Bumble and there's an option to show if you're atheist/Christian/Jewish/agnostic.

A lot of men are atheist so I've assumed that it's a no-go. But it's really quite a lot of men. Am I being too picky? I wouldn't know if I met them in a bar if they were atheist Confused

OP posts:
soberken · 29/06/2019 18:24

No from me

Chloe9 · 29/06/2019 18:36

Some proper condescending atheists on here. I think atheists are generally pretty unattractive because they tend to feel superior to religious people and I hate that, I'm agnostic and truly do not know what to believe, but wouldn't look down on someone for what they believe.

I do think people forget that science is theoretical though, and often those theories get disproven. I think believing science has all the areas is quite an arrogant and dismissive stand point. There is a whole depth of human experience that science in its own dismisses.

Chloe9 · 29/06/2019 18:37

I find open mindedness and kindness are overlooked

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Philosophy & religion
Usernamealreadyexists · 29/06/2019 18:47

I’m Muslim (open-minded, tolerant, respectful of different POVs) and I don’t state my religion on OLD as I know it’s an instant turn off. I’ve had a fair few dates over the past year, and the religion thing hasn’t always been an issue in the short term but I see it could be in the longer term. I’m not sure I’ll meet another Muslim who is totally accepting of me and so I’m fucked. I’m totally open to meeting people of another/no faith.

Sexnotgender · 29/06/2019 18:52

I find open mindedness and kindness are overlooked

I agree. Some incredibly rude views on here.

BenWillbondsPants · 29/06/2019 18:59

I find open mindedness and kindness are overlooked

Absolutely agree.

Cookit · 29/06/2019 19:02

@MunchMunch I agree I find it weird when people convert for a new partner.
Surely religion is about mainly about faith, and why would you suddenly believe something just because the person you love does or more likely, because they ask you to suddenly believe it. No one can simply choose to believe or not like turning on a switch. Over time maybe as you learn more about their religion and decide you believe it too...

ErrolTheDragon · 29/06/2019 19:10

I wouldn't mind someone who just didn't believe, but if I'm lucky enough to have children I'd want to bring them up in the faith.

That might be the deal breaker for an atheist who wasn't too bothered about what you believe. Would you accept bringing up a child to know about faiths and secular world views and let them make their own choice?

Macca84 · 29/06/2019 19:14

So if I made up a new deity today and professed my belief, people should respect and be kind about that?? When you've seen first hand the death and destruction religion has caused, it makes the thought of respecting it even more absurd. Also, I tend not to believe things which have absolutely zero evidence - to me believing in such things IS absurd.

nicecuppaforme · 29/06/2019 19:17

My husband is agnostic at most but probably atheist.
His mum is a kind of lapsed Christian and his dad is a lapsed Muslim.
I'm Christian but not preachy.
It's never been an issue in our relationship. DS is christened as it was important to me and we got married in my church. DH didn't have any strong feelings about it.

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 29/06/2019 19:18

I am an intelligent critical thinker who has a strong faith and I find the comments from some posters demonstrate a narrowness of thought and sweeping generalisations show such a misunderstanding. Plus if you want evidence there are many indicators that people with faith have better health, lower rates of depression and suicide, longevity, more likely to volunteer and work towards making communities better.
The 12 step programme is based on submitting to a higher power and that has helped hundreds of thousands overcome deep rooted addictions. Like it or not humans do better when they feel connected to ‘something’ bigger than themselves. Is it biology, coincidence or within in us because there is something external to us to connect to?

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 29/06/2019 19:19

Re: op I would date someone who didn’t share my faith.

Squirrelblanket · 29/06/2019 19:20

No I wouldn't. I just couldn't take anyone seriously who believed in all that.

Macca84 · 29/06/2019 19:20

I'm sure all those folk felt empowered too when they drank the kool aid..

SwedishEdith · 29/06/2019 19:22

I wouldn't mind someone who just didn't believe, but if I'm lucky enough to have children I'd want to bring them up in the faith.

Having been brought up in a faith, that would be a big no for me. A passive, vague "belief" in god I could, perhaps, live with. But actively telling your kids "This is true" re belief in god > nope.

DrDreReturns · 29/06/2019 19:27

I'm an atheist and DW is a Christian. It's worked for us. Our kids have been bought up to make up their own minds about religion (or lack of it).
I think shared values are important - you can have generally Christian values without being a Christian iyswim.

ifancyagreencard · 29/06/2019 19:28

I’m a Sunday School teacher, DH is a devout atheist. He respects my faith, I respect his lack of it. His only request was that I would never force the DC to go to church once they reached the age where they had an input. I never did. It’s worked for us....

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 29/06/2019 19:37

I’m an atheist married for 28 years to a Christian, we are also from different cultural backgrounds. We’ve had a few issues along the way but none of them have been about religion. We respect each other’s, and everyone’s, right to religious beliefs or lack of belief. What I couldn’t tolerate would be someone who looked down on people with different beliefs and thought that they were wrong, even if that person had the same belief as me.

thecatneuterer · 29/06/2019 20:22

No. I have very little respect for people who believe in God. I regard them as being intellectually lazy at best, gullible and a bit thick at worst.

Yep, that's how I think too. Even though there are some very intelligent 'believers' out there. They bother me particularly as I just can't get my head round how they haven't used that intelligence to decide it's all bollocks.

So no, a relationship with any believer would be doomed.

SoftBlocks · 29/06/2019 20:24

No.

BarbedBloom · 29/06/2019 20:24

If they generally believed and didn't attend church etc then maybe, but otherwise no. It would cause too many issues, potentially wanting to marry in a church or christen children etc

pointythings · 29/06/2019 20:47

My late H would have classed himself as a Christian, but he was strongly opposed to organised religion and believed it did more harm than good. We had our DDs baptised but that was because it would have broken his parents' hearts if we had not. We raised them to find their own faith, or not. It wasn't his faith and my atheism that broke us up.

Rangeloaf · 29/06/2019 20:54

It’s too much of a fundamental difference for me. Although I’d still rather go out with a religious person than a Tory

Ha ha. A bit dim or over entitled. What a choice

starzig · 29/06/2019 21:06

What does it matter if he nips to mass on a sunday morning. Probably would not affect us day to day. So unless he is preachy with it, it wouldnt bother me.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 29/06/2019 22:16

Im an atheist married to an agnostic whose father was an atheist and mother was a catholic

I am the mother of an atheist and two children that believe in god...just dont do anything about it

I would date someone who had a religion as long as he wasn’t a complete arsehol....i would not date an atheist if he was a complete arsehole