Would you judge this parent?

[Sparrowlegs248]

If a parent turned up at a school event, such as sports day, nativity etc, dressed in untidy/dirty work clothes. Pre school or early primary age children. Parent is self employed, tradesperson. Not filthy but obviously less clean and tidy than an office worker.

No. I'd judge anyone who passed a negative comment about them though.

Nottalotta It could be a reverse as in you’re the person coming in your dirty work clothes so you’re asking if you’d be judged, I think.
Is it actually your dh who is saying he can’t watch your dc’s sports day?

DH was a Scaffolder, every t shirt he wore had a hole in the right shoulder ( every Scaff is the same) and he was usually covered in dust but i bet his wallet held more a year than yours does OP thats why he could retire 50, when will you manage to do that ? Still want to judge him because he done a manual job ?

Not at all. They turned up to watch their child and are obviously hard working

I’d judge op.
I’d see a parent who really cares for their child. One who had probably gone to a huge amount of trouble to re arrange their work schedule so that they could prioritise their children.
Not everyone can do that. And not many of those that can actually care enough to try.
To see someone in work gear at a school event shows that the parent has successfully negotiated those obstacles. They care about their children. And they also represent those of us who can’t always manage to get there due to work.
What a fantastic role model such people are.
But, thinking about it, aren’t most parents there in their work gear? Especially the SAHM’s and SAHD’s. Although they have gone because it’s a “work do”. 😊

So many patronising comments!
Is it because he’s a tradesman rather than office worker.

Whatever. It’s embarrassing. On the grounds of what he’s wearing, he is absolutely no better or worse a parent than any other parent there!

@BobLemon are you aware you can set up Mumsnet so the OPs posts are highlighted green. It makes it easier to RTFT.

More power to them! They are dirty because they are grafting to support their child and have also even managed to find time to be their for them at school. Well done i say!

shows that the parent has successfully negotiated those obstacles.

He's not fucking Mario!!

He just arranged time off around his working day like any other working parent.

So what they should have time to shower to change between a job and sports day etc?? What if the job ran over?? I would have no problem with it.

DP and I have often gone for dinner straight from work and he is in dirty work clothes and I don't mind one bit. And if anyone judges us it says a lot more about them than us!!

So many patronising comments!
Is it because he’s a tradesman rather than office worker.

Basically. You only have to look at any thread on here about 'school gate cliques' to see how status-aware some people are. This view would see a man of working age showing up to a school event in dirty workwear as visibly showing his 'low' socio-economic status, compared to a suit, or surgical scrubs. (Hence the 'Bless!' tone of some comments, as though he's being 'brave', like someone doing a 'Dare to Bare' social media thing with no make-up on.)

Interestingly, some of the men in suits at this event might feel uncomfortable because the guy in dirty work gear with the physical job scores higher in the machismo stakes. Or a woman who showed up for the same daytime event in grubby jodhpurs and boots might be viewed as high-status because she 'doesn't need to work' and horses, being expensive, code as high-status.

No not at all. One of the Dads from my sons class is a roofer and always gets there for pick up absolutely filthy but that’s his job and no one bats an eyelid!

These comments are unbearable.

Not all tradesmen are hard working. Some are pretty lazy, same as people who work in offices. All this salt of the earth crap, grafting hard to provide for their families...it's vomit inducing.

As for money, the tradesmen could easily be earning more than the man he's sitting next to who is all suited and booted.

@formerbabe.

Totally agree

Ha my mother met a man at a village event who described himself as a plumber she thought no more of it and they got on well so invited him and his wife over. When they got the return invite it was at the village 17th century Manor House complete with indoor and outdoor pools manicured lawns etc. Turned out he owned a massive plumbing business - you can never judge!

Actually when we were having substantial building work done which took 6 months several of the builders had kids at the same primary school as ours so we would pop down to events together

Totally agree re this thread being super patronising. The undercurrent is that this kind of working class type bloke would be more likely to be a deadbeat dad, so he deserves extra brownie points for turning up at all!

Unless they stank to high heaven of something awful, or their clothes were inappropriately revealing, I wouldn't even notice what they wearing, never mind think to judge them for it.

Surely being a parent makes you too tired to worry about that sort of thing? We're all so very tired.

Literally couldn't give a shit what someone wears to their kids concert.

Who the fuck has time to look at another parent long enough to deduce their social status based on their attire?

I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, a tax free jurisdiction and some of the wealthiest people I know rock up to school to drop their kids off in their work vans, along with the other millionaires in their top of the range, range rovers. But the difference is that not one person here really cares enough to think about it.