Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

[Oldbutstillgotit]

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

They’re assholes and he’s arrogant enough to pretend he couldn’t get a booking, but having nowhere to stay could be quite dangerous for them.

Dangerous? Where do you think they’re going? Syria?

One of them said that Dick had been boasting in the golf clubhouse that he and “the wife” had managed to get a free week in Spain !
Barbara told Anne who was livid

Gosh!

So for once, all the MN speculation is accurate.

Well done to you, Anne, and Barbara. Hope you have a fabulous week in the sun.

They’re assholes and he’s arrogant enough to pretend he couldn’t get a booking, but having nowhere to stay could be quite dangerous for them.

FFS they are 2 adults going to Spain not a couple of kids going to the other side of the world.

If Carol is telling the truth

I fear that truth is currently away on holiday.

As someone who never believes that people want me to go anywhere unless I receive an invite in worrying I am just wondered that someone who it has been made abundantly clear to many times is not welcome is still arguing the toss. I know I'm a bit extreme the other way but this is just astounding.

I feel so very sorry for Anne that her lovely test has been mired so but you will look back and laugh about this for YEARS.

Hope you and AB have a wonderful time x

Just reading most recent comments. Currently having the when do we tell Carol about change of villa discussion. Anne is now thinking she will text her a couple of days beforehand but hasn’t finally decided . Not sure I agree with the poster who said it could be dangerous to potentially leave them without accommodation. Firstly it is S Spain and secondly they have been told to get other accommodation!

they've already been told to book their own accommodation

They have, Mitzi, but right now they think there's a free room waiting for them, and neither sound the sort to forego that for the pleasure of keeping the others happy ... remember that Carol "couldn't see what the problem was" at all before walking out, and now Dick's bragging about their "free holiday"

As said, though, it's not my decision to make. It's obvious the three ladies thoroughly deserve an enjoyable holiday and I hope that's what they get

If he hasn’t been bragging about bagging a free holiday I would have told them before they left that there was no room at the inn.

Seeing as how pleased they are about taking advantage of Anne they deserve not to be told about the change of villa. After all they are supposed to be booking their own accommodation, it’s only that the op sound out they are planning on gatecrashing the villa through a third party.

The worst that should happen is C&D have to hang about at the airport till someone can find them accommodation (for which they will probably have to pay over the odds.)

I am worried that your private taxi driver will be stood in the airport holding up a sign with Anne's name on it, and that Carol and Dick will see it and attempt to get in. Make sure you have a plan for this situation!

Good luck with it!

Jeezo!

I'd tell them you have downsized to an apartment.

Carol and Dick are grown adults. They've been told to get their own accommodation and Anne has no responsibility for them if they fail to do that. Landing in Spain and finding they have no accommodation for a week BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO BOOK AHEAD will not be an issue. There will be plenty of safe places with vacancies if they look for them even at the last minute. Failing that they can just change their flights to the next one home.

Well done Anne! I hope the three of you have a relaxing holiday!

I'd tell them you have downsized to an apartment.

This or that you’ve decided to stay in another town.

If they have the brass neck to look for you on holiday make damn sure they’ve got duff information about the type of Villa/exact location.

I really do think that Anne should text Carol and say that she is no longer invited, the villa has been changed, and to use her flight as she sees fit but its now just you three and then all block

You really dont want that drama on your first day on holiday however much mumsnet would find it hilarious. Just deal and get rid

That’s ridiculous. What man would even want to go on a girls holiday. I suspect however that it’s the husband putting his foot down.

He was not invited so the answer is NO. No argument. If that is not liked. Tough. Dam cheek.

Wow. If only someone had thought of that, hundreds of posts later...🙄🙄🙄

Will you all be on the same flight home again? If you don't tell Carol & Dick about the villa change etc., it could all get a bit hostile at the airport...
I'm assuming the friendship between Anne and Carol is done now, whatever happens?

Wouldn't it be better if you just confronted Carol with what she'd done, and say that you know about the boasting in the golf club, and that she's hurt this dear lady Ann?

Because all this tiptoeing around is going to result in them turning up at your accommodation, whether its changed or not. Allowing Carol to have her free flight is literally inviting trouble. And Dick.

You don't have to tell Carol you've booked another villa. It shouldn't come up in discussion because you won't be seeing her anyway. It's completely none of her business.

WTAF have I just read?! The brass neck on that one!!

I really do think that Anne should text Carol and say that she is no longer invited, the villa has been changed, and to use her flight as she sees fit but its now just you three and then all block

Absolutely this. She must do this to avoid any unpleasant encounters whilst away. And she should say it’s because of what was overheard in the golf club.

As for possibly being put in danger without accommodation - they’re adults, not teenagers FFS. I’m sure they’re more than capable of making a last minute booking if they were stupid enough not to book anything at all.

What was the last contact with Carole?

I'd be tempted to say the villa has been cancelled, not changed. You don't need to tell Carol that you're still going. If she goes and sees you on the plane that's fine, you won't have lied, just not filled her in on the details.