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Original poster

Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
Atalune · 17/06/2019 16:26

That’s a bloody great update. I cannot wait to see carols face when she steps off the flight to no villa!

What an idiot.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 17/06/2019 16:29

Nothing to add to the other responses. Just wanted to say have a brilliant holiday. Anne really sounds like a lovely person.

MsMarvellous · 17/06/2019 16:31

I am gobsmacked and totally over invested now. I hope you have a glorious holiday just the three of you. Chin chin Wine

msmith501 · 17/06/2019 16:31

Please keep this thread up to date... a photo of the unhappy couple arriving at the wrong villa... oh to be a fly on the wall when Dick realises he's been outsmarted by (apologies) a "woman"... oh the embarrassment!

Original poster
Oldbutstillgotit · 17/06/2019 16:32

@tuxedocatsintophats good point about taxi. Am just imagining Dick shouting follow that taxi !
We will be on same flight ( assuming they still go) but we are booked into a Lounge pre flight so hopefully will avoid them at the airport .
Now I am nervous.

OP posts:
simplekindoflife · 17/06/2019 16:32

The new villa is a few miles from the original one so if Dick and Carol turn up ( as many of you suspect they will )they are in for a shock .

Yes!! Well done you three! Grin

I strongly suspect they will turn up at the original villa with sad faces.

"Free holiday...!!" Unbelievable cheeky fuckery and a mean ungrateful slap in the face for poor Anne. Gits. Sad

Original poster
Oldbutstillgotit · 17/06/2019 16:33

Oh and thanks for all the good wishes 🍷

OP posts:
prettybird · 17/06/2019 16:33

This has shades of the Mexican Villa Holiday saga classic thread! Grin

msmith501 · 17/06/2019 16:35

I think when they realise they have been outwitted (it's unfair of you to take someone on who is so clearly unarmed mentally), they will creep quietly away and pretend they had a great holiday without you. CFs indeed.

GiantKitten · 17/06/2019 16:36

prettybird I thought that when people were wondering about Carol & Dick knowing where the villa was & turning up - had visions of them changing the locks while OP, A & B were out! Shock

tuxedocatsintophats · 17/06/2019 16:41

I'm sorry but I can see Dick following your taxi. I think I'd honestly advise Anne to do something about her flight because again, people like this simply don't stop.

CantspellWontspell · 17/06/2019 16:42

Poor Ann having her generosity abused.

However, you three must go and have a fabulous time. Fuck the cheeky fucks.

Attache · 17/06/2019 16:43

Is it worth Anne re-iterating that Carol is still welcome to the flight but if they end up not going for any reason, please let her know so she can cancel it?

Much as it's fun to leave them in the lurch if they do travel without booking accommodation, it would be a shame for Anne to be out of pocket for a flight if they do decide not to go in the end.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/06/2019 16:43

Glad you've changed the villa but I could wish you'd changed the destination entirely! Same airport but in a totally different direction from the original villa, I mean.

I assume if Anne has let Carol keep her flight that you will all be on the same flight - and possibly Dick too, depending on whether he was able to book the same one. That means you'll all be at the airport together and I agree that shaking them off at this point could be rather tricky!
Great plan to have a taxi meet you - but They could still follow it, I agree.

The other thing that bothers me slightly is that, if you're in a relatively small area, you'll be "bumping into" Carol and Dick throughout the holiday, unless you plan on pretty much staying in the villa the whole time?

I still can't believe the utter twattiness and entitlement of Dick (and Carol) - outrageous behaviour. I'm guessing Anne won't be having much to do with Carol from now on and it's probably just as well.

Good luck with it all - I sense you might need it still!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/06/2019 16:44

Dick had been boasting in the golf clubhouse that he and “the wife” had managed to get a free week in Spain!

Is anyone really surprised? Hmm

It's perhaps no bad thing though, since it's persuaded Anne to very sensibly change the villa, but if she's not planning to tell Carol there might be even worse scenes when she and Dick find themselves high and dry

I hope you all have a lovely time, but unless you block them on your phones on arrival there could be some very painful phone calls to field ...

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/06/2019 16:45

So glad to hear that the booking has been changed.

When boarding opens online, Anne should be sure to only online check in you three.

Iloveacurry · 17/06/2019 16:48

Definitely a CF!

Twisique · 17/06/2019 16:50

I would take a gift for Anne so that if there is any unpleasantness you can change the mood later with your gift, a really pretty sarong perhaps? I would take her a gift anyway because she is lovely!

S1naidSucks · 17/06/2019 16:51

I do think you need to tell them that you’ve changed apartment. They’re assholes and he’s arrogant enough to pretend he couldn’t get a booking, but having nowhere to stay could be quite dangerous for them. Though, I would leave it until the day before you go away and tell them. Obviously you won’t tell them where it is.

EdtheBear · 17/06/2019 16:56

Well played Anne. Good move not to tell them the change of accommodation.

I think at the airport when you arrive in resort, hang back so they can't follow you. Have a drink, lunch whatever excuse you can come up with, make sure they get in their taxi first!

Have a fab time, when are you going?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/06/2019 16:56

Just realised that, if you've booked a "taxi" on arrival for 4 people + luggage, that may involve a people carrier of some sort - in which case there could easily be room for Carol and Dick

Since he's so keen on a freebie, it could cause a lot of awkwardness if he insists on coming along in the vehicle. It's not my decision to make of course, but might that not be another reason for simply telling Carol beforehand that everything's been changed?

Atalune · 17/06/2019 16:56

I think you’ve all done what you can and you just have to leave it now.

I think carol and dick might hear on the golf club grapevine that accommodation change s have been made though Wink and leave them to stew.

If she dares to ask anymore about you do need to firmly shut her down-

“Carol we have explained at length that dick is not welcome and for that reason we have made
significant changes which includes a different villa. I do hope you and dick enjoy your couples holiday wherever you end up”
Finish off with a warm smile.

MrsMozartMkII · 17/06/2019 16:57

Well done Anne.

I hope you all have a lovely holiday.

Mitzimaybe · 17/06/2019 17:03

having nowhere to stay could be quite dangerous for them

The thing is, they've already been told to book their own accommodation, so they won't have nowhere to stay, will they? And if it does turn out that they haven't booked accommodation, whose fault is that? It's Spain, not the other side of the world. There will be accommodation for them, just maybe not what they are expecting.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/06/2019 17:13

I think carol and dick might hear on the golf club grapevine that accommodation changes have been made

You're right, but that could well lead to some painful phone calls to Anne, who after going through difficulties can perhaps do without any more unpleasantness

The whole mess is no-one's fault except Dick and Carol's of course, but I just wonder if telling them beforehand might not be better than a lot of angst coming in later