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Original poster

Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 22:10

@chiccroissant As I said later, it was a knee jerk reaction . Anne has given Carol the flight but made it 100% clear that she and Dick cannot stay at the villa.

OP posts:
Atalune · 16/06/2019 22:10

The neck of them both!

I’d cancel the whole thing and rebook something else entirely.

You realise you’ll have to socialise with them? Forget that!

My flabber is ghasted!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/06/2019 22:15

The give away that Carol is not in fact being controlled by a bullying husband but is just a common garden variety cheeky fucker is the “en-suite” request

An extremely valid point ...

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/06/2019 22:17

"Carol has responded on WhatsApp saying that she still doesn’t understand the problem"
That suggests to me that Carole is a cheeky fucker in her own right, rather than just being married to one.

rainbowstardrops · 16/06/2019 22:22

No way!!!!!
What bloody cheeky fuckers!!!!

Soola · 16/06/2019 22:23

Carol is wearing the trousers it would seem!

What a bloody cheek to accept the flight/flights as a gift but stay somewhere with her husband else as if she is doing you all a favour.

No way on earth would I let her get away with that!

She is greedy and arrogant to the extreme.

If she was the put upon little wifey she would have kept her mouth shut about the holiday altogether knowing her husband would make a fuss and insist on coming along, but no she is the one that seems to be orchestrating this nice little wangle of abusing Anne’s kindness and friendship.

I absolutely would not speak to this grubby woman ever again.

simplekindoflife · 16/06/2019 22:23

Carol is clearly just being a CF!

Who does that?! It's so rude and disrespectful... even if Anne wasn't paying for it all, you don't do that!

I'd definitely try to downsize the villa, if possible, or change the location. People like this just don't see how cheeky they are and I wouldn't put it past them to turn up at the villa bleating about how they couldn't find any accommodation...

EdtheBear · 16/06/2019 22:24

That's a very good point about her not seeing the issue.
CFers.

Redshoeblueshoe · 16/06/2019 22:27

Like others on here I thought Dick was probably controlling, but now I think she's just a CF of the highest order

Soola · 16/06/2019 22:30

None of you are now going to enjoy the holiday as Carol has spoilt it as you will all be on tenterhooks at her and Dick showing up at the villa and outstaying their welcome.

Just the sight of the pair of them would piss me right off.

Ann needs to cancel the whole damn thing, send Carol a card and cheap fliers to thank her for the previous emotional support then get together with the op and the other genuine friend and be pick somewhere else and keep the holiday just to the three of you and cut that bloody awful grabbing Carol bitch and her mofo husband out of all your lives.

Soola · 16/06/2019 22:31

Cheap flowers not fliers

thenightsky · 16/06/2019 22:34

Cancel. Leave them to sort their own accommodation out.

Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 22:35

They are probably too cheap to pay for their own accommodation

BrienneofTarthILoveYou · 16/06/2019 22:40

I can't believe that - it reads to me like they're both cheeky fuckers, nothing controlling in it on his part at all. Both as bad as each other.

Anne definitely needs to stand firm and not let him stay in the Villa - keep the address from them otherwise I reckon they'll just turn up!

testingtesting111 · 16/06/2019 22:41

If the flights are not too expensive and it is possible to change the dates on the villa do it. All that will happen if you don't is:

  1. worst case scenario - the cf will both turn up and start anyway;

  2. mid way scenario - they get their own accommodation but dominate the entire holiday aka ruin things.

Soola · 16/06/2019 22:42

Op ita one thing for Anne to think she has to keep the peace but Carol isn’t even a friend of yours so awns her a link to this thread so that she knows what we all think of her.

You owe her nothing.

testingtesting111 · 16/06/2019 22:42
  • also I'd throw Carol overboard (cull the friendship) for not "understanding" the problem
gottastopeatingchocolate · 16/06/2019 22:43

"There's no problem I suppose. It's just that we had planned a holiday for 4, and now you aren't going to be a part of it".

Or you could put Dick in a tent in the back garden of the villa, with a strong pair of binoculars? Wink

peachsquish · 16/06/2019 22:44

Both Carol and husband are cheeky fuckers. Agree with previous posters that Anne should try and change the booked villa to another one if possible.

Soola · 16/06/2019 22:44

I bet they’re heavy drinkers and will want to come on every meal so they can drink like fish and pressurise you all into splitting the bill with them even though you three women won’t have drunk nearly half as much as them!

There’s got to be a reason as to why they would want to hijack the women only holiday!

GreenTulips · 16/06/2019 22:46

Yes and split 4 ways because they’re a couple and should pay once

S1naidSucks · 16/06/2019 22:48

You and your friends should club together and pay for two beds in a hostel, for a night or two. Then when the CF turn up saying they couldn’t get anything and you can’t turn them away, you can hand them the booking details and send them in their way. Grin

BruceAndNosh · 16/06/2019 22:52

I bet they’re heavy drinkers and will want to come on every meal so they can drink like fish and pressurise you all into splitting the bill with them even though you three women won’t have drunk nearly half as much as them!
Don't you just love the MN hyperbole based on absolutely nothing at allConfused

purpleboy · 16/06/2019 22:57

I'm actually speechless!! Well done to you all for standing up to this CF

BumbleBeee69 · 16/06/2019 23:01

Wow.. just wow at the brass neck of this couple .. Confused

well done for saying NOPE