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Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
PeoniesarePink · 16/06/2019 20:08

There's nothing you can really do OP to make the situation better. They tried their luck on, now they're going to be embarrassed and furious that they've been called out on it.

I hope you all go, and have a fantastic time, she's the loser in all of this.

sneakypinky · 16/06/2019 20:09

Whaaaaaaaat.

IHeartArya · 16/06/2019 20:11

ShockShockShock

BMW6 · 16/06/2019 20:13

I agree with others that Carol's flight ticket should be cancelled and Carol informed that due to her and her Dick of a husbands extremely rude and entitled behaviour Carol is not invited anymore.

What a pair of cunts!!

MrsCollinssettled · 16/06/2019 20:15

Definitely cancel Carol's flight otherwise you'll be on edge the whole time while she tries to shoehorn him into the freebie holiday.

IHeartArya · 16/06/2019 20:16

I’d definitely cancel Carols flight & accommodation details as I could not trust them.

Sounds like my friends dh who always turns up uninvited expecting to be welcomed with open arms. He isn’t.

I had to make it clear he was not invited to my ladies lunch for my 40th. He was put out. I told him if my dh wasn’t invited then he certainly wasn’t!

PotatoesDieInHotCars · 16/06/2019 20:17

This reminds me of a thread on here a year ago maybe? Group of girlfriends had hired a couple of caravans. The OP's DP/DH insisted she wasn't going without him. She tried to convince her friends to let him come but they were having none of it. But he wouldn't back down and insisted on coming.

This makes me think that Carol's DH is a controlling arse too who doesn't want to let his wife out of his radar. I suspect there is a lot more going on behind the scenes.Try not fall out with her. Losing all her friends is the last thing she needs.

BackwardsGoing · 16/06/2019 20:17

Flabbergasted!

Rosielily · 16/06/2019 20:18

Did anyone ask Carol why she hadn't mentioned not wanting to go without her husband earlier in the planning stages?

Apolloanddaphne · 16/06/2019 20:18

Do you think Dick is very controlling and wouldn't allow Carol to go away on her own? I'm not condoning their actions just wondering if there is more going on with Carol and Dick than you know about.

Orchidflower1 · 16/06/2019 20:19

Wow that’s cf of the highest order!
Good on Anne for sticking to her guns. Sounds like you and Barbara are good friends to her - carol not so much!

Enjoy the break but cancel carols flights if she’s still flouncing!

Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 20:19

Well done sticking to your funds, I was worried you would all cave.

How unbelievably rude. That couple must be an absolute nightmare.

no Way would I ever want to go on holiday with either of them.

ElektraUnchained · 16/06/2019 20:19

Presumably on the same flight as you all as well? He would totally change the dynamic as I would have felt party atmosphere from the airport onwards. I would be FUMMING if I were Anne.

Ginger1982 · 16/06/2019 20:22

Yup, cancel Carol's flight forthwith or they're going to be at the airport!

IHeartArya · 16/06/2019 20:24

👏👏👏 to you all for sticking to your guns!

OrdinarySnowflake · 16/06/2019 20:24

Agree, cancel Carol's flight/change it to another name if you can find another friend to join you, be clear if she wants to go away with her dh that's their business.

She will complain about the money hes lost in flights, remind yourself/Anne that he chose to book the flights knowing it was a girls holiday so unlikely hed be welcome and they didn't say immediately that she would only go with him. They had plenty of opportunity to discuss this with the group before spending any money. They tried to force you to put up with it by booking first.

Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 20:25

When is the holiday??? Sorry if I missed this

Starlight456 · 16/06/2019 20:26

Well either they are both cf’s or he may refuse for her to go on her own.

I would let things settle for s few days

youwouldthink · 16/06/2019 20:27

Well this takes CF to a new level. Your poor friend doing something do lovely having to put up with this

StealthPolarBear · 16/06/2019 20:27

ElektraUnchained you fumm girl!

annielouise · 16/06/2019 20:27

Anne needs to try and get a refund on Carol's flight cost, she might not get it all but it's worth a try, even changing it to another flight for herself for later in the year or something. Carol can't go now.

If Carol knows any of the details of the villa could you change it?

The next thing is she'll ask for her flight ticket so she can go with her husband. Anne is not obliged to give it to her and has asked for a refund.

Wow!

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 20:28

@rosielily. Yes we asked why she hadn’t said anything when Anne first issued the invitation and she said she got caught up with the moment and it was only later she started to get anxious .
Anne has just posted on our WhatsApp group that Carol is welcome to the flight but she and Dick need to book their own accommodation.

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 16/06/2019 20:28

"Dick" has booked his flight? For real?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 16/06/2019 20:29

Does Carol have the villa details? Hopefully not.

BeansandRice · 16/06/2019 20:29

You three dodged a bullet there!

What an awful man.

I hope your friend Anne is OK. What do they say? No good deed goes unpunished.

You three sound lovely - I hope you have a fabulous time!

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