Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

"Shit with sugar on" and "sawdust and hay" when you asked what was for dinner

"Standing here like a spare prick at a wedding" - waiting around for ages for someone

Knee high to a duck / my dad used this is refer to when he was very little

Hells, bells and buckets of blood

Keep your eyes peeled - said when he was looking for something like a road turning or his house keys.

Whats for tea mum?
A kick up the pantry door.

Another one, which I like and use but I suspect some people probably think is non PC these days:

"The phones ringing, the village has lost its idiot" - about someone whose being particularly dim/stupid.

If your auntie had balls, she'd be your uncle.

Probably my favourite after "it's a bit black over Bill's mother's"

"If wit were shit, you'd be constipated". I still use this!

‘A lick & a promise’
Used when I didn’t have a bath but had a quick wash as a child, usually in a washing up bowl in front of the fire!

"What's that got to do with the price of fish?" (How's that relevant?)

"Bugger that for a game of soldiers" (I'm not doing that!)

Bob's your uncle and fannys your aunt.

Walk round table and a bite off each leg (whats for tea... could also be shit with sugar on)

Dogs are barking (feet are aching)

I want never gets so piss off (the piss off is purely my mum and grandma).

My giddy aunt. Not sure what this saying means!

“No better than she ought to be”
“Colder than a witch’s tit”
“Why buy the cow when the milk is free”

This, in a very broad Lancashire accent, “Gerrawaywiyer” (Get away with you)

In the film Vera Drake she kept saying "You'd like a biscuit with that I shouldn't wonder" So cosy.
I love it when people say "That'll do me." I don't hear younger people saying this.
"Hark at her!"

If someone is standing in front of the TV "is your dad a glass blower?"
And after every meal my grandad always used to say "enough is as good as a feast"

“She’s got a lot about her.” Someone with ideas above her station. Although it could mean someone who dressed well or spoke well.
“She’s has more men than days of the week.” Someone popular with the men.

My mother had two meals she'd alternate if we were fussing about "what's for dinner?". Bread and pullet (with a pretend pull on our plaits), or Duck under the table.

Oh some of these are fabulous!

I'm so glad someone else says 'there's enough blue to make a sailors suit' because I thought my grandad was just making it up! I've never heard it anywhere else and people look at me like I'm crackers when I say it. He also used to say 'he' ll be a good man in a storm' to describe someone who was reliable. My grandad was in the navy, in case that wasn't obvious.

My personal faves are 'in three shakes of a lambs tail' to denote a length of time that could be anything from 5 seconds to 5 minutes.
Also 'gone to see a man about a dog' which, if he was to be believed, was basically all my dad ever did when he was leaving the house alone. In reality, he was a plumber so was going to price up/look at jobs or sometimes to the pub!

Monny I still say My giddy aunt at least once a day!

“looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag”

My mum often says this!

DH says "aye, and if yer uncle had a fanny he'd be yer auntie"

Stop getting your knickers in a twist. - to someone panicking unnecessarily.

She’s all that and a bag of chips.- about a woman who fancies herself as something special.

Shut up and give your arse a chance - meaning they are talking shit.

Arse over tit - about someone who has fallen over.

More fat on a butchers pencil/greasy chip - about a slender person

The lights are on but no one is home- about a dimwit.

Two sandwiches short of a picnic - about a dimwit.

Doesn’t know his arse from his elbow - about a dimwit, usually a male.

Popped his cloggs - died

Kicked the bucket - died

The bees knees - thinking they look good

If we asked what was for Dinner, we were to Wotensee Pie

Wait and see pie

Bagsy - as in “I’ll bagsy that”, said to get first dibs on something

Bob’s your uncle - hey presto!

Chocka - as in “The road is chocka” meaning chockablock.

'Well, strike me pink!" (I'm surprised).
"Don't trip over your tongue on the way out" (You're still whinging even as you leave).
"May a child be named after him" (Jewish - Jews only name children after deceased people).

Cost a bomb - expensive.