Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

My ex used to say "teeth like a pan of burnt chips" or "teeth like a broken fence".

@shinynewapple that's George Bernard Shaw's Joan of Arc! That's where that's from. If it's and an's were pots and pans...

St Joan

"You're not as green as you're cabbage looking."

Never understood this so just looked it up, it's a backhanded compliment meaning someone isn't as stupid as they look.

See you later alligator, After while crocadile.

"Behave yourself!" - meaning I don't believe you.

Another variation on the too-short trousers one: "Why don't you spread some jam on your socks and invite your trousers down for tea!"

I always heard that the donkey's years one was a mishearing of 'donkey's EARS' i.e. something that's long. Maybe it had Welsh origins as both would sound very similar in some south-Wales accents?

My nana’s were:

• well this won’t buy the baby a new dress - meaning time to get on with things/ stop standing around chatting

• sat/stood there like piffy on a rock bun - she always used it to mean stood there doing nothing/ looking a bit gormless, but googling says it means being a gooseberry?

• you could ride your bare backside to London on that and never cut yourself - about a blunt knife/ scissors

• you’d sell more tea if you filled the cup

• spitting feathers (thirsty)

• 6 o’clock and he’s not here, must be lost or on the beer

There’s loads more I’m sure! She was ace.

Oh and ‘it’ll be a pig’s foot in the morning’ when we’d hurt ourselves.

‘I want doesn’t get’ and ‘you know what thought did’.

Your arse in parsley

‘Just want to quickly Wet my lettuce ‘
URGH WTF?!!!

@Herbalteahippie

Urgh, that one is horrid. Wonder what the origins of it are? Haven’t heard it for years, thankfully.

Yes @Herbalteahippie the memory of your post quite put me off my lunchtime salad today.

You are one o'clock half struck. Gormless

Spitting Feathers/ Hat Pins - Annoyed.

Fuck my old boots

I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole

Rather be hung for a sheep than a lamb

Would you kiss your mother with that mouth?

I could sleep on a galloping hedgehogs back.

"A ten gallon arse in five gallon jeans". For someone on the large side.

"His dogs aren't barking". For someone a bit slow.

"Not wired up right". Ditto.

"His river doesn't reach both banks. Ditto.

"Only rowing with one oar". Ditto.

''Going down the garden to eat worms.'

The first bit - 'Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,..'. would be taken as read.

We say - 'its a bit dark ovr Bill's Mother's' - which means I can see black clouds in the distance, enough blue for a sailors suit (there's a few blue patches between the clouds).

Yes, I have spotted that this is an old thread, but there was at least one voice of reason:

"Give it some welly" is not unusual and most of the suggestions are current and common expressions. Do people never go out, or at least watch television, or read books?

Clearly they don't!

One I never hear anymore is 'don't come running to me if you break your legs'.

Yeah 'sweet Fanny Adams' has awful original. It's what 'Sweet FA' actually is. Though as 'fuck all' fits it most now sweer sweet fa to be that.

Fanny Adam's was a young girl who was murdered and cut up then scattered about in pieces. She was never fully found. I only discovered this recently after watching I Am the Night and looking up the Black Dahlia which led me to Fanny Adams.

On a lighter note I've never heard any one say (after pouring tea from a pot) that if there's bundles on the surface it means riches.

She must be from Bakewell.

Granny (who was from Belper but who married a Yorkshire man) had a few that I've never heard anyone else use - such as 'He (or she) shits too high for't pot' meaning that the named person has airs & graces and 'What do you know about rabbits?' might be said to a precocious or nosey child barging in to a conversation that wasn't intended for their ears.