Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

Like a fart in a colander (I.e. dithering)

Blithering idiot!

Enough to make a pair of trousers for a sailor (a bit of blue sky).

My husband uses: Nice to see your old face again. Which I really don'lt like.

What time is it? - "Two hairs past a pimple" (as in how would I know look at the clock)

Well I'll be hornswaggled (denoting surprise).
More tea, Vicar? (If someone burps or is otherwise impolite)
Cor me back teeth were floating (desperate for a pee)
She's no better than she oughta be (lady of questionable reputation - in my nan's eyes)
Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs (again an expression of surprise).
E was in n out like a fiddler's elbow (busy)
E was up n down like an whore's drawers (particularly busy)
She banged like an outhouse door (friendly, popular female)
Cor it's like Piccadilly circus in ere (a lot happening)

OrangeSunsets Up here for thinking; down there for dancing

I literally just used that in a message to someone, before coming to this thread!

The other similar one I use to that is "I'm not just a hatstand you know"

I've used 'give it some welly' all my life and I'm in my mid thirties :D It's a great phrase!

My mum likes to say (and I've caught the habit too) "S/He's not as green as s/he might be cabbage looking".

Got short arms and deep pockets

All arse and pockets

She is a bit of a get up

Face like she has lost a pound and found a penny

Apple didn't fall far from the tree

“Stop hanging around like a tin of Libby’s.” If we were stood about doing nothing but getting in the way. Libby’s was tinned milk apparently.

And showing where I grew up, “well I’ll bare my arse in Fenwick’s window” an exclamation of surprise!

Jump up kitchen door and a bite off t'latch
Up them dancers
Built like a brick shit house

These are all Lancashire but I have to say the Irish are pretty good at these sayings

My DH used to use the phrase "up here for thinking, down there for dancing" but extend it to "and in the middle for all the good stuff"

If I asked where something was my dad would say” in Annie’s room behind the wallpaper “.

My dads personal favourite - usually used in a sporting context - “well he couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo”

Also, “if your head were screwed on you’d be dangerous” for someone who’d done something a bit dull 😂

Oh give it some welly is one I used to hear a lot, haven't heard it for years!

up and down like a bride's nightie That's brilliant!

My Granny used to say - enough blue sky to make a pair of sailor's trousers. (apparently old fashioned sailor's trousers were huge voluminous things, and took a lot of fabric, hence the saying)

I know loads of these though and might use a few of them

Oooh and ‘I’m floating about like a bubble in a can’ is a good one!

And ‘she’s as much use as a handbrake on a canoe/ ashtray on a motorbike/ tits on a fish” is a great one from one of the boys I work with

I recognise a lot of these (and still use quite a few!)

My mum used to say, in cold weather, "It's as cold as a stepmother's breath". I use that one but haven't heard anyone else.

Other gems from my mum:
Your arse in parsley (expression of disbelief, iirc)
Sheep shit and onions (when asked "what's for dinner?")
Black as the Earl of Hell's waistcoat
In the name of the wee man (to avoid saying "FGS" - she didn't mind swearing but drew the line at blasphemy :-))

In and out like a fiddler's elbow

My dad says to me "how's yer belly where the pig bit yer"

I still say give it some welly.

My dad sings a lot of ditties don't know if he made them up or not though

If you stand upon our shite house
You could see new brighton lighthouse
If it wasn't for the houses that are standing in between

"if you had brains you'd be dangerous"

and "up your arse second shelf" if you ask where something is!

My granny used to call the woman across the road "vinegar tits". It always made me laugh.

She also used to say "I'm not boiling my cabbages twice" if you asked her to repeat something she'd said.

Queen Anne front, Mary Anne back

And a new one but I think it's similar
Doesn't your arse hurt from sitting on the fence?

Oh I've missed ' wouldn't stop a pig in a passage'
My mum liked 'were you born in a barn?' (often used in our house) and 'that went down like a cup of cold sick'

My aunt would always say 'it'll do for a put on' to indicate an item of clothing that was nothing special but you could still wear.

"im not stood here for the good of me health"

That ones an authority on everything from arseholes to breakfast time.
Stewed Bugs and Onions for Tea
Asking where your mum was "Away with a soldier".

Shaking like a dog shiteing razor blades.

Dry as a wooden god.

As thick as two short planks.

I still use so many of these.