Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

'Bob's your uncle' is one I never hear anymore. I guess people say 'there you go' or similar instead now. And my Nan always used to say she "going to spend a penny" when she needed to wee, bless her heart.

You couldn't find your arse with both hands
Your pig won't get any fatter just because keep weighing it - which I always want to say when people are forever checking their fitbits
Wafting about like a fart in a colander

ha! we must be living in a time warp half of these still get regular use in our family!

'He's like a long streak of vinegar dust'

I thinking of other sayings now, like 'hanky panky' and abit of 'how's your father', both euphemisms for sex I think.

I know (and use ) most of these. And I'm definitely going to start using 'knock 'em bandy'

AN old lady I know used to love shopping and was never a fan of thinking carefully before buying anything. She used to say 'You should get it - even if you never wear it'. And also, if she saw a couple who she thought were both plain 'Oh well, saves spoiling a nice pair'

She's got a mouth like a fishwife

my grandad always used to say "you'd mek a better door than a window" in his reet broad Yorkshire accent.

as in move out the way I cant see through you

Up and down like the Vicar’s knickers
I wouldn’t call the King my uncle (meaning I feel contented)

"You're up and down like a pair of whore's drawers!"

Oh, and my dad's exclamation of choice was 'Blood and sand!!!!!'

Black Country here and my mom would refer to it being black over Bill’s mother’s. I didn’t know it meant Shakespeare though.
Also “It gave me the willies.” Willies being creeps.
“You’ll be bigger than bokka.” Stop being greedy, although I have no idea who or what bokka is.
“He/she needs to be in Barnsley.” Barnsley Hall, once the local asylum.
“Little fish are sweet” referring to a small win such as £10 on the lottery.
The one saying I hate is “I have been bad” as in poorly. I always feel like asking “what did you do then?”

All bay windows and no knickers
Between having and wanting and doing without you always get by.

My dad’s exclamation of choice was “bugger me!”

In and out like a fart in a colander

I like 'better than a poke in the eye with a brock (broken, ie sharp) stick.'

Bobs your uncle and Nellies your aunt.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

You look like a chewed mussel in that - what you were told if something was too small/ tight.

A doll, a drum a kick up the bum and a chase around the table - the answer you got if you asked for pudding.

I said to DD a few months back “You’re standing there like a tin of milk” and she didn’t believe it was an actual saying, she thought I must have meant bottle... (and she’s almost 30)

As he made 'em he matched 'em - meaning they deserved each other.

"She can't even hold her own water!" (someone who is a gossip)

“ArseholesShitBuggerPissCockFart!”
All run together as one word.
From my mum if she stubbed her toe or dropped something etc.

She never swore usually.

Two little boys fighting in a sack (a large backside in baggy trousers)

We always said 'it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick' - meaning to be grateful for whatever you receive.

If someone is pleased - "He is like a dog with two dicks."

Not sure if this was specific to my Nanna, but she used to have a saying for women who rose above "their station":

"Look at her! Strutting about like Mademoiselle of Marmatiers"