Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

“Stop fannying around!”
“It’s like Briggate on Christmas Eve!” (Leeds one, may have been just my grandma)
“It’s cracking the flags here today”

'Stop fart arseing around' and 'don't be such a fidget arse'

Usually heard at footy when someone has many attempts on goal; 'couldn't hit a cow's arse wi' a shovel'!!! 😂😂😂😂

My mum used to say

'better than a poke in the eye with a stick' (when talking about getting something of what you wanted but not most/all)

'your face will stay like that if the wind changes' (if I was pulling a face)

My Nan used to say "bloody sands and beaches" as her swear word

"You hanging that pelmet back up when you've finished wearing it?" From my dad when a skirt is too short

"You make a better door than a window"

"Standing there like piffy on a rock bun"

"Sit at peace or I'll gie ye eternal peace!" Sit still and stop fidgeting or I'll kill you!

"For a window you make a great door" you're blocking my view

"Awa and play wi a hand grenade" quit bothering me with nonsense

"She's all red shoes and no knickers" all style no substance

I think this may be a regional saying... But "I can see it far enough" meaning can't be bothered to do something or go to something they feel obliged to.

Another one, if I complained I was bored I was told to "awa' and play tig way the buses" 😂 sounds quite sinister looking at it through adult eyes, thank goodness sarcasm was ingrained in our little minds

We still say we bought the last one made on a Friday afternoon whenever something packs up on us.

Stick a broom up my arse and I'll sweep the floor as I go.

Of someone making further demands of someone else who's already batting around like a blue arsed fly.

"Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".

"Hanging around like the man outside lewis's" - I think this one might be liverpool specific as no one else would know what it meant

"Feel like a spare prick at a wedding" - hanging around with nothing to do.

"Couldn't manage their way out of a wet paper bag"

"As much use as a chocolate fireguard"

"say it a bit louder so her in the next square can hear yi" when someone's speaking about something too loudly.
"yi could grow tatties in there" when a child has dirty fingers/ears/neck etc
"you'll sleep when ur deid" when someone is reluctant to join a party or wants to go home straight from work due to tiredness

I say a lot of these and consider them current rather than "old" (though they do go back a long way).

"never pat a burning dog"

"Sitting here like a tripe for threepence" is superb

Some of these are still very common though? Blue arsed fly, shit or get off the pot, three sheets to the wind... Amused by a few posters suggesting "fur coat and no knickers" given the OP's name!

"Red hat and no drawers" is a new variant on me though, that's brilliant.

Newmom, no but not very far

@bezalelle that's a reference to a dirty song. The mademoiselle from Armentieres ('parley vous....')

Also I did mean hear but this phone has a mind of it’s own (I’ve had to correct that hear 5 times )

Buzzing around like a blue-arsed fly.
Bob's your uncle.
Better than a slap in the face with a wet kipper.
Don't scowl, the wind may change.
Hell's bells and buckets of blood.
About as useful as a chocolate tea-pot.
Couldn't organize a piss up in a brewery.
Couldn't organize a fuck up in a brothel.
Banging away like a shit-house door.

(The last three I learned at university in the Seventies!)

My grandfather would regularly accuse people of being ‘a big girl’s blouse’. I might use that expression too.

“Gordon Bennett!”

“You make a better door than you do window” (although I do say this to DD when she’s standing in front of the TV)

“Cloth ears”

“He/she looks like a pea on a drum” meaning someone with a small head and a large body

"couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery" is another I still use regularly

"Give it some welly" is not unusual and most of the suggestions are current and common expressions. Do people never go out, or at least watch television, or read books?

I also say "Christ on a bike!" a lot when I am surprised at something or annoyed or dismayed - dp thinks its hilarious and ive made it up entirely on my own but that was fair used in our house as a kid.

oh and "built like a brick shit house"