Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

I'm going downhill faster than a greased pig

Hadn't heard the budgie version, I don't think

My mother this morning after I'd gone a bit mad on the Chanel no 5 " you smell like a whores handbag"

Cheers mum lol

My favourite one is and I use it often " you've got more mouth than cows got cunt"

I love piffy on a rock bun mentioned upthread - my granny used it for years and I still don't know who piffy was supposed to be!

"well you thought wrong didn't you!", said by mums, cutting their DCs sentence short as they tried to explain themselves, starting with "I thought..."

My granny was an argumentative little woman. She got arguing with her next door neighbour once came into the kitchen talking to my grandad loud enough for the neighbours to hear "hark and her thinking she's lady muck. She's all fur coat and no knickers"
😂😂 miss her loads.

"well you thought wrong didn't you!", said by mums, cutting their DCs sentence short as they tried to explain themselves, starting with "I thought..."
😂😂

Another one said by mums.. "because I said so"

"Mum why can't I go to the park?"
"Because I said so"

This used to wind me right up 🤣

A lady I used to look after when she thought someone was being snooty used to say 'look at him lord muck of turd hall'

withall really love that - love so many on this thread - use lots of them myself !
Can’t work out the short trouser/cat died one !

My dad's aunt said when meeting my baby who started crying, 'uch now darling, you're spoiling your wee face'
Had never heard it before & use it often now

If a new baby had a solemn gaze, or looked serious, my gran would say : " Ooh, this one's been 'ere before!"

@HeronLanyon it's because your trousers are at half mast like a flag at half mast when someone dies

"Going to see a man about a dog" is a phrase my Uncle would say often if we asked where he was off to and he thought you were being nosy.

"Going to see a man about a dog" is a phrase my Uncle would say often if we asked where he was off to and he thought you were being nosy

There was also a very old one in the 70's based along that, which thankfully nobody uses anymore at it was so incredibly racist I can't believe people ever thought it acceptable.

My nana's favourite saying when I was a kid was:

"If 'ifs and ands' were pots and pans there'd be no need for tinkers!"

Just seen that @Goodideaatthetime007 mentioned the tinkers too! And no, I have no idea what it means 😂

My mum when describing something funny would say ' I laughed so much i nearly did the bloody can can'.
Which always makes me giggle at the image of my mum doing high kicks.

My grandmother 'If brains were bombs your's would fail to detonate'

@MozzchopsThirty

I wonder if “it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here” is the northern version and “it’s like Crystal Palace in here” is the southern version.

I remember my grandparents saying the Blackpool one but not the Crystal Palace one. We’re northern.

I always thought, going to see a man about a dog meant you were going to the loo? Thought it was Cockney rhyming slang for bog. Could be wrong as I’m not cockney.

Speaking of toilets - going to drop the kids off at the pool. Haven’t heard that for a while (thankfully).

Kick it to the kerb - to get rid of it.

Cotters for hair tangles - haven’t heard that one since my gran died.

Speaking of toilets - going to drop the kids off at the pool. Haven’t heard that for a while

I recall DS once telling me he needed to get home to 'harvest his strawberries'. I assumed it was a euphemism for the toilet. Apparently he was playing farmville.
It stuck.

Men never grow out of finding toilet related things funny.

My DP still looks really pleased with himself when he farts (if he thinks I’m not watching).

@SwimmerGirl40 yes the origin for it was for going to the loo, but my Uncle would say it when he was going out somewhere.

@MadSweeney -....yes, as a child of the 70s I also remember the extremely, offensive racist version being said.

willy willy thank you. Got a block on that one !

swimmer that’s interesting. I have an American friend (male) called cotter. Think I should tell him ?

Who knitted your face and dropped a stitch. Someone looking miserable.