Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

enough blue to make a sailor a pair of trousers
more haste, less speed
put wood int 'ole
daft 'ap'orth (halfpenny's worth)
give them and inch and they'll take a mile
bit black o'er bill's mother's
this won't get a baby a new bonnet

A bull in a China shop
Going round the Wrekin
Fart arsing about
Lights are on but nobody's home
You daft apeth

Till the cows come home

I weren't born yesterday or You must think I've fallen off the back if the bus
Both meaning I don't believe you

"Twice around the gas works" rotund 🤣

Going to see a man about a dog (when questioned about where you're going and don't want to say)
Tight as a nuns cunt
She went 'ass over tit'. (Fell over)
More faces than the town clock! (2 faced person).

Go home...your Ma want's your boots.

Told to me by my Grandmother who was born in Liverpool in 1910. She was from a very poor family that lived by the docks. Her Dad was a casual dock labourer and it was a sort of insult to say that to another child...suggesting their Mum needed to pawn their boots.

You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards! (Looking dishevelled).

@IAmDetermined my dad used to say that 'Right said Fred' thing. I've got a funny feeling it came from a tv show with Bernard Cribbings in?? Someone may know more about this? My dad's passed away now otherwise I'd ask him.

“He’d give you arse the toothache”

Skybluepink.... (I genuinely thought this was a real colour as a child... )
He's got a bee in his bonnet!
You not stopping? (When someone hasnt sat down or taken their coat off when visiting)
You'd jump in my grave (stealing someones seat)
Short arms and deep pockets (when tight with money)
Nice belt! (Short skirt)
Go and wash your mouth out with soap
Doesn't know his arse from his elbow, the cat thats got the cream, Black pool aluminations, born in a barn

“If that’s true I’ll show my arse in Burtons window”
Lots more that have already been mentioned too!

@AlphaJura @IAmDetermined
Here you go.... theres another 8 or so verses ..

Right Said Fred by Bernard Cribbins

"Right, " said Fred, "Both of us together
One each end and steady as we go."
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right, " said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
Up comes Charlie from the floor below.
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea.

I remember Right Said Fred! Very popular comedy record by Bernard Cribbins.

Still use most of these, being of a northern extraction.

One of my parents sayings is "Once every Preston Guild" for something that happens very infrequently. (Preston Guilds happen every 20 years)

my gran used to say when she had enough of us
"I'm in my own house, wish you all were"
my brother used to say if I wanted something of his and he was in a mood "I wouldn't give you the skin off my teeth"
and if I asked how long before whatever, as long as it takes a fly in hobnail boots to walk over an open tin of treacle

Going round Wills mothers reminds me I always said "You know old so and so when I'd forgotten some ones name, my young grand son
taking all these conversation in over time eventually said
"but granny who is old so and so?

@MrsWhatToDo yes that's it! I thought it was a tv programme about some removals men but evidently it's a record. My dad was great with lyrics, he'd just start reeling them, I expect he could recite all of that

My Gran used to say:
"S/He wants to know the arse end of a fart" (someone who was nosey)
"Oh, jump up and give your leg a dother" haven't a clue what a dother is but she used it when we were getting on her nerves
"its sticking out like a pigeon ducket" - again don't know what a ducket is but used, as you can imagine, when something was sticking out
"It's like Casey's (sp) Court in here" - when things were messy
"Tell that to old Nick"
My mum used to say to my sister and me if we were playing up "just wait til your father gets home there will be war on"
This is another old family one but one I used to use a lot in work situations "It's like Fred Carno's circus" meaning when meetings were in disarray (At least that is when I used it).
Shit for Brains
Hadaway and shite (if you had said something that was perhaps unbelievable or they didn't believe you)
I didn't come up the Clyde on a bike (you must think I am stupid)
There's only a midge's dick in it (when you are looking at differences between two things)

Exclamation - 'Heavens to Betsy!'

Describing someone with very fine hair... 'Six hairs and piece of string'.

Pleased/delighted - 'Chuffed to Naafi breaks'

Complaining about lights being left on in every room - 'This house is lit up like Crystal Palace'.

To describe density/softness- 'Ooh his brain's rattling round like a pea in a tin can'.

“Heavens to Murgatroyd!”

Jamaican Granny used to say:
“Kiss me granny neck back” (exclamation of surprise)
“Blouse and skirt” (surprise / disapproval )
“Look at me crosses here today!” (Despair / fed up / stressed / overworked)

It's snowing - your petticoat's showing

He's only half sharp

I didn’t come down in the last shower

Not for donkey's years
It's donkey's years old/ ago

Once in a blue moon

When Noah were a lad

Going home (worn out, e.g. this jumper's almost gone home)

Raining stair rods

A lazy wing (so lazy it can't be bothered to go round you so it goes right through you instead)

You won't melt (said to children complaining about going out in the rain - shouldn’t it be dissolve??)

A lazy wind (not wing)

Give it some welly is common round these parts!