Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

Re Cotter

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotter

@HeronLanyon
My gran was very Lancashire and hadn’t travelled much further than where she was born. I do remember her talking about our cotters when she was brushing our hair.

Is Cotter your friends 2nd name? It might mean that he is descended from Scottish peasant farmers.

It’s a first name ! I think I won’t say anything, eh?

I think his ma May well have been from Iowa which might explain things (but doesn’t explain why she didn’t look at other meanings - pin / clump of matted hair !!!). I’ve always liked it and will try hard to put this all out of my mind.

'I want dun't get'

My mum is from Leamington and going round the houses there is known as going 'round the wrekin'!

@MadSweeney @Goodideaatthetime007 "If if's and an's were pots and pans there'd be no need for tinkers' My understanding is that the tinkers (I think another word for gypsies) sold the pots and pans. It's a response to saying 'things would be better IF we had this or the other......' . So if every time you said 'if this'. 'If that' you were given pots and pans there would be no need for tinkers to buy them from.

I don't know if I'm explaining very well!

@TakemedowntoPotatoCity 'going round the Wrekin' is a Midlands phrase. The Wrekin is a hill in Shropshire. I still say it.

A couple I don't think have been mentioned:
The sights you see when you haven't got a gun.
Horses for courses.

Has anyone mentioned 'I'll have to wait for you until the cows come home'? (Just means you have to wait for ages basically.)

Pot calling the kettle black

Chip on his shoulder
Half inched
Slow as Moses
That's pissed on his fireworks
Raining cats and dogs
sweating quartz
Eyes like piss holes in the snow
He's a card
As black as your hat

Here's a few from my upbringing in rural Oxfordshire:-

I'm dry as a witches tit (thirsty)
Couldn't catch a pig in a poke (bandy legged)
Seen more fat on a chip (someone who is thin)
That made my arse crack walnuts (had a shock)
Wouldn't stop a galloping horse to look at you
You haven't got the sense you were born with
I could ride to London on your lips (said to pouting, sulking child)
Black as the ace of spades
Queer as a nine bob note
Mutton dressed up as lamb (old woman dressing too young)
"What's for dinner?" "Bread and scratch it"

This thread has made me remember a few more of my Lancashire grandparents sayings:

I’m in fine fettle - I’m good (as in I feel good today)

Is it heck - no it isn’t (to disagree with what someone has just said)

Kecks - trousers

Lal - little or small

Jipped - to be ripped off (as in, you paid £10 for that? You’ve been jipped!)

Clout - to hit

Clarty - dirty

@TheSacredCow

Loving the regional variations on these. In Lancashire it would be “if the wind changes your face will stay like that” instead of “I could ride to London on your lips”.

My Nan always used to say to my brother...”you give my arse a headache” 😂😂😂

@goodnightjude1
😂😂😂

@HeronLanyon

😂😂😂

If he goes to North Lancashire and introduces himself to old people, he may well get some funny looks!

'Donkey's years' = a long time - was a popular one with my family - no idea why though!

Get up the dancers -Dancers are stairs.
Put wood in thole - Shut the door.
Corporation pop - Tap water.
Well I will go to the end of our street. or yard.

Also must have hit every branch on the ugly tree..

Face like a slapped arse

@Bignosenobum
Council pop - tap water

Hahaha my dad still says this. “Ooh that shops been there donkeys years”

As a child, if I complained about a stain on my clothes, My grandma would tut & say “a blind man’d be glad to see it”

“What’s this? Scotch mist?” Is one I remember my mum using a lot!

‘Tuck your shirt in or the dogs will chase you’

‘Laughed like a drain ‘

‘More chins than a Hong Kong telephone directory’

‘Teeth like a row of condenmed houses’

‘About as much use as tits on fish’