Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

My dad used to say 'between you, me and the gatepost' when discussing something confidential

Apparently my grandad used to say to them after they'd had a heavy night 'why have you got to go and tear the arse out of it!'

Going round Will's mother's
It means going the long way round. The first time I heard it was at work when someone arrived late and apologised saying "I had to go round Will's mothers house" and I genuinely thought they had been to see the mother of someone called William.
The a few weeks later someone else said "I've just had a nightmare journey, the X road was closed and I had to go all rou d Will's mother's to get here" and I realised it's a local (Cambridgeshire) saying.

achapman That's interesting. There was a real murder in a red barn that was notorious in its day - it happened in 1827. I see from wiki that there's been several film and TV versions into the 1990s. Alas, I've idea what the saying implies.

My mother and aunt, when either was dressed up to go out, used to say as 'smart as a half scraped carrot.'. Anybody else say that, I've never heard it since. Except when I say it now.

If my granny was running late or getting behind with the chores she used to say ‘Lord love us - will you look at the time and not a child in the house dressed!
Love that and i know how she feels when trying to get my dc out the door.

Mam what's for tea . Shit with sugar on !!! Lovely!!

Wearing a bra when you have no boobs is like owning a purse with no money in it !!

All fur coat and no knickers

I also remember being a daft 'apporth and my sister was a naughty ninepence.
Blimmin Ada was a variation of Bloody Nora.
Cor Blimey! or just Cor! At a surprise.

Daft apath here too.
Also a nice comment was Dotey lamb(Irish)

Well bugger me with a fishfork is a good one. I also love Christ on a bicycle. And fuck that for a game of soldiers. Although none of these are uncommon. All the ones I can think of that have fallen out of use here (Welsh valleys) are racist as hell! However I do love a good old 'Well dew dew' which is a way of expressing surprise.

Most of these are still regularly used round us, my grandad lives this one...
"I'm that hungry I could eat a donkeys knob stuffed wi soldiers shirt buttons"
And he also regularly states, about a female talent show presenter "I wouldn't touch her if I'd five and a wooden un"

Glad I'm not the only one who remembers daft aporth. Reminds me of my lovely grandma who I miss every day.

And my Aussie Aunt says "I'm standing here like a shag on a rock" meaning standing around with nothing to do, shag there is a type of bird!

@Beautga @shinynewapple "you'll end up round back orr rackhams" my great nan used to say this if we got a bad school report, meaning we'd end up on the game!

My great grandma had some crackers
I need to remember them and write them down, before they’re lost forever, as that would be such a shame

I remembered a corker earlier but it's gone again now

My Mum talking about my Sister the other day said “she would take your eyeballs and have the cheek to come back for the lashes”!!

Go and play marbles in the middle of Bolton Rd. ( ie stfu i said no)

My grandmother used to say "Right said Fred, nipping out of bed with a brick under his arm"...Roughly translated to "Right I must be getting on". Never heard it anywhere but her. Makes absolutely no sense!

My godmother used to say "hells bells"

If I got in the way of the tv my dad would say "you make a better door than you do window" too

Of a bow-legged man: "He couldn't stop a pig in a ginnel".

To rise early: "I was up at' crack o' sparrow fart."

Don't know if he's on this earth or fullers
meaning someone confused or unsure about why they're doing something

I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby donkey and come back for t'saddle

Thick as pig shit and twice as claggy