Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

'Put the wood in the hole' -shut the door

Up the wooden hill to Bed-fordshire- going to bed

cloth ears- not paying attention

Up the Swanee. Used it in text re cancelled train service recently. Recipient asked what I meant.

Ruddy hell instead of bloody hell
My mums always said ‘blood and stomach pills! When shocked by something:)
Sweet fanny Adams, meaning nothing left. Found out recently where it came from, :( really not nice.
Jeepers kreepers
She’s got a face like a wet fish

Talk the hind leg off a donkey.

If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window.
These remind me so.much of my mum. Love all of these. Lovely trip down memory lane.

Up shit creek without a paddle or (for polite company) painted himself into a corner.

"She can talk a glass eye to sleep".
"All wind and no pee".
"All fur coat and no knickers".
"..like a blue-arsed fly".
"Up shit's creek without a paddle".
"...a face like a slapped arse".
"Like a dog with two dicks".
"..he's got more rabbit than Sainsbury's"
"like Grandma's nightgown".

All still in use where I'm from.

May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb'this was me yesterday whe I brokey diet with a big bit of birthday cake as a small piece would still has smashed it ,so I went the whole hog.
Some one walked over my grave.
Money and fair words(when someone asks you how much something cost and you don't want to say).
A lot of the sayings on this thread are still being used amongst us older folk though I do sometimes notice that younger adults look blank.
DD loves sayings and was asking me about some of the ones that she has picked up from me.
I love some of the regional ones .

Put the wood in the hole,my grandad said this and I do now but its'Put wood in t'ole'(t'oil pronounced as toil and a niceYorkshire brough).
Like flies 'round a jam jar.

If bored or something and asked..what will i do.? My gran would say. " take off your stocking and piss in your shoe"!

As black as Newgate’s knocker.

@Beautga are you from the Midlands? We used to say that about someone going round the back of Rackhams (soliciting)

To Shinynewapple Yes i am from the midlands

I still hear a lot of these used.

Some I like are

‘You can put a pig in a party frock but you can’t stop it grunting’ meaning (roughly) that fine clothes are less important than good manners or that you can’t buy class.

‘The apple didn’t fall far from the tree’ meaning a child resembles a parent in some way.

And ‘if if’s and and’s were pots and pans, there’d be no need for tinkers’. God knows what it actually means but my gran would say it when we wanted something we couldn’t have.

I often used to hear people say that X or Y ‘had a lot about them’ and it meant they were quick witted or intelligent. It was definitely a compliment.

Just heard a new one. I don’t totally understand it.
A friend said ‘I’m going to break eggs with a stick’ when she had loads to do.
Also . She/he has me not knowing if I’m Arthur or Martha. This when someone’s being put under pressure by someone.

If my granny was running late or getting behind with the chores she used to say ‘Lord love us - will you look at the time and not a child in the house dressed!’

It’s brought tears to my eyes just writing it down and hearing her voice saying it in my head.

If there was nothing for dinner and we were hungry, Grandad used to say we were having 'air pie and windy pudding'.

Asking what was for tea would get " two jumps at the pantry door and a bite at the latch" or "fresh air butties". Being nosy and asking what was in a bag or parcel would get "lay holes for meddlers". Many of the others already mentioned along with a few varations " enough blue sky to patch a sailor's britches"

Many a mickle maks a muckle means lots of little things add up to a big thing. Usually referring to pennies adding up to pounds

Thanks @dementedma I've always wondered about that!

Going to spend a penny
You daft 'aporth

What's for tea - .scotch mist or bread and pull it.

You're so sharp you'll cut yourself - for someone with an exaggerated sense of their cleverness
I had an auntie who would say "murder in a red barn", but I'm not sure what it meant exactly.

If the wind changes you'll stay like that! (In response to pulling a silly face)
There's no flies on you! (To mean you're quick/smart)

Motherontheedge1 I thought the "Martha or Arthur" phrase came from someone appearing of undecided gender! lol