Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

woodhill

Cheers!

Not RTFT but my mum used to say something vaguely racist sounding (don’t think it was - she used to say it when the clouds were dark) involving the ace of spades 😳

Your face is pot black
Thats the pot calling the kettle
It wouldnae sook a soldier aff yer granny

Would freeze the balls of a brass monkey

"Like a fart in a trance" to someone looking a bit vague.

Dull as dish water.
Mad as a box of frogs.
He’s a right Bobby dazzler.
Go to the foot of our stairs.
In for a penny as in for a pound.

For someone slap dash and disorganised: ‘He’s like a fart in a colander, don’t know which hole to go out through!

Like a tit in a trance......someone who is dithering

He's no as green as he's painted...... meaning he's no as daft as they think.
I'll take ma haun aff the side a your face.... meaning you're needing a slap

"If it was a dog, it would bite.me"...for when you can't see something in front of you.

A mean person, "wouldn't give you the steam from their piss".

"Your up and down like a whores knickers".

Looking pale, " your eyes are like two burnt holes in a blanket". Or pale and mysterious.

grumpycat my mum used to say something was "black as the ace of spades" too, but I thought it meant the ace of spades in a pack of cards.

We still use a lot of these and one our family use a lot is “a blind man in a galloping horse would be glad to see that”

I could eat a scabby donkey. For those really hungry moments.

Shut your cake hole

You're an I.B.B (same as eyes bigger than your belly)

When someone farted, my mate would always say, "I hope your next one's a pineapple!"

Better oot than in (when someone farted)
Yer like a Christmas card, always greeting (moaning)
Yer up and doon like a fiddlers elbow!

"What's that got to do with the price of fish?"

Said that to one of the twenty-somethings in the office after they said something a bit random. Looked at me as if I was mad!!!

If my mum hasn't bought someone's main present in time for Christmas or birthday, they get a small present referred to as a "put-you-on". And a present you buy because you wish someone would buy it for you, even though it may be unsuitable for the recipient, is a "sugar mouse present".

He could get under a snakes arse with a top hat on
Dim as a NAAFI lamp

We say give it some welly! 😂

You look like the wreck of The Hesperous

Blimey I say a few of these.

He’s like a fart in a trance (someone who’s not focussed)

You can’t polish a turd.

I rather feed you for a week than a fortnight (referring to someone who’s always hungry!)

She looks like a bag of washing tied in the middle.

He’s away like 3 men and a wee lad (meaning he moved fast).

She wouldn’t know shit from shinola.

I have the biddies (hangover)

Thick as champ (referring to a person who’s ... thick! [champ being our regional delicacy of mash potatoes with scallions] )

How’s your belly up for wrinkles? (How are you?)

I’m not as stupid as you look!

Away on and eat your scone (are you joking?)

Your ma’s your da (the ultimate insult from my schooldays!)

Tea, bread and a herring (in response to What’s for dinner? - my MIL’s ready answer)

Stewed bugs and onions (same question but my mum’s standard response!)

When someone didn't care about something... my mum said they were all 'san fairy ann' about it.
It took me a long time to realise it was 'C'est ne faire rien'

Some of my parent’s
“She’s all kippers and curtains” (derivative of fur coat and no knickers)
“There is enough blue in the sky to knit a cat a jumper”
“It’s a bit dark over Will’s mother’s”
My dad also still says “five and twenty to” for twenty five to the hour.