Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

My Uncle used to say -
Of a weak bloke - he's standing there like a right Mary Ellen
Something easy - Like feeding a donkey strawberries
Porch light on, nobody at home
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off
Stop shuffling, you're like bloody creeping Jesus!
Stop acting the oil can
Every old sock meets an old shoe

Thanks wheels, her df came from East Anglia so that makes sense.

@woodhill I'm from Lancashire and we'd say he's a rum'un.

She was in Yorkshire as a child😊

What does it actually mean?

Ye gods and baby goldfishes
FIL would say 'Suck me bob', MIL hated him saying it and I have no idea what it meant and really don't want to hazard a guess!

@MitziK I think you and I are from the same "neck of the woods"

Just read frame yourself, from a prev poster, my mum used to say that if we were dawdling, "come on, frame yourselves! "
And "I'll go to our front door/our house/the bottom of our stairs", to express surprise
Ball of chalk, to make a mess "its a right ball of chalk". Think my mum made that one up, I've never heard anyone else say it.

Someone who has a very high opinion of themselves: “he’s got tickets on himself”; said when out of earshot of the person “oooh! Chase-me-I’m-chocolate” (I still use these phrases)
When something good, but unexpected happens: “thought I’d won a watch”; to someone else, “bet you thought you’d won a watch”
Probably from my mum who was from Glasgow.

Some favourites from my mum-

I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking

I hope your next shite's a hedgehog

• I remember howling with laughter when she said the latter to my dad during a game of Cyprus whist! 😂

Shape thisen. My grandad was telling you to pull yourself together and crack on if he said this. Tight as a duck's arse for very miserly. Could see a midge on Pelham's Pillar for someone with very keen eyesight or very observant. I've heard but never discovered the origins of the dustcart and wedding one.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sows eat
A stitch in time saves nine
A watched pot never boils

"How's your father". I've not really any idea what it means!

I've always understood how's yer father to be a euphemism for sex. Why I don't know. Does it mean other things depending on where you're from?

You give my backside headache.

Oh my god @Enb76 I thought it was 'apeth'. I actually said it to my ds this afternoon and thought to myself 'I wonder what an apeth is'. I'm sitting here grinning to myself at my own stupidity

Someone I worked with when talking about someone with big teeth used to say 'blimey he's got a cupboard full of crocks'

A few sandwiches short of a picnic
She won’t blow over in a breeze
Don’t count yer chickens
It’s swings and roundabouts
Horses for courses
Said the pot to the kettle
She looks like the cat who got the cream

Loving this thread

My regulars:

Not as green as I am cabbage looking

She/he needs her bumps felt

She's all fur coat and no knickers

From DH:

As much use as tits on a fish

I hope your next shites a hedgehog

Is your father a glass maker? (Pronounced "is yer fa-ther a glass mekker?")

He needs a bit of string (ie for his kite, referring to a man with a rather large beer belly!)

Put some elbow grease into it - make more of an effort.

It a shit show in here - messy room.

I'll clip yer ear - get a crack around the head.

Skinflint & tighter than a ducks arse - miser.

Cuntybollox over there - affectionate term for the husband when mildly annoyed.

It's not really a saying but my mum used to say 'fucking nora!!!!' and it makes me laugh so so much🤣🤣

wishing some one would take a long walk on a short pier

off a short pier

Very un pc but my friends mum when she would whine 'it's notttt faiiiir' used to respond with 'neither is a black mans arse'

If someone did a shoddy job my grandad always used to say 'no pointing spoiling the ship for an aparth of tar'

I haven't heard this in decades, "She's got more rabbit than sainsbury's". About a chatter box, rabbiting on, and with reference to when sainsbury's used to hang rabbits from their store front.

“Put a bush in the gap” (means close the door)
“He’s the biggest eejit that ever put an arm out through a coat”
“Call them home” (if you were sitting with your legs stretched out straight and in the way)
(I’m Irish)