Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

Were you brought up or dragged up?
More faces than the town clock
I’m as stiff as a board
Wetter than an otters pocket
I tripped up and hit the deck
I went arse over tit
Shes as mad as a box of frogs
Me stomach thinks me throats been cut
I literally use all of the above 🤣

A friend who lives in Scotland told me she wasn’t going out as a haar was in. I thought she meant the 80s band A-Ha were playing locally and it would be crowded. Felt like a right fool when I said I loved A-Ha especially Take On Me and she burst out laughing.

All courtesy of my very blunt, very Yorkshire mother;
If something's blunt " I could ride bare arsed to London on it"
"Stick a brush up my arse and I'll sweep the floor too"
"He doesn't look in the mantle when he's poking the fire" not the nicest but meaning not bothered about looks
"Don't know whether to have a crap or have their photo taken" indecisive

It stinks like a tart's boudoir in here - when someone had sprayed or was wearing strong perfume.

It's whore's handbag where I come from (pronounced hoors)

Mouse I'm guessing you'd be from the north east, I think I've heard that version too. Mine was said by my gran who was born in the East End of London back in 1912.

@DieCryHate. Some of those are a bit of a giveaway, aren't they?

It's a bit black over Will's Mother’s
Going all round Will's Mother's (the long way round to get to your destination)

Ditton Treacle Mines (where you'd be going on holiday if you weren’t actually going anywhere)

Having your Dockey (lunch)

Are you all right?
No, I'm half left.

What did your last slave die of?
Shot for insubordination.

Keep a sharp lookout.

Five-and-twenty to or past e.g. eight

One I remember from school was, "It's like ....'s market in here" (noisy and chaotic) but whose market was it?

Yep, spot on.

Tonight we had windmill pie for tea. If it goes around you'll get some 😂😂😂

"Fay nights!" meaning truce.

as much use as tits on a goldfish (no good)

never a borrow or a lender be

many a day untouched (not sure if my mum just made this up!)

A rum'un - someone who's a bit different and you can't work out why. A 'rum' one. 1920s slang I think.

Mine is 'standing round like one at Woolworths '

Fab material for a dissertation.

"Who's she ? The cats mother?"

If you really like this sort of thing, do get Brewers Dictionary of phrase and fable. It's ace.

Youve got more front than blackpool

Going to see a man about a dog

A bit of slap and tickle

Pissing like the Co-op horse

Stood there like one of Lewis’s

My mum used to say

Do u think I came up the river Lagan in a bubble or
Do u think I'm buttoned up the back (if u think she's stupid)

Aye sure pull the other leg

As much use as a chocolate teapot
Crumbs Christopher
Oh fudge for swearing

You will stay like that if the wind changes

God moving his furniture when it’s thundering and lightning

She's got an eye like a travelling rat (notices everything and probably gossips about it)
Pass-remarkable (petty and critical person-see above)
You're suckin' diesel now hi (getting lots of work done quickly, everything going well)
Stall the baler! ... Bale on. ( Stop a moment...ok carry on)
As much use as tits on a bull.
Sure a blind man on a galloping horse would never notice (said to reassure somebody with a ladder in their tights or somesuch)

Black over Bill's mother? Nope, never heard that. My mother used to say "that sky's as black as the Devil's nutting bag".

Like a bull in a china shop

And grandma's curse when grandad legged it with a floozy "I hope her fanny festers". Said with as much venom as can be summoned.

My Dad would come out with loads from this thread. I did actually have an uncle Bob so instead of "Bob's your uncle" we had "Robert is your father's brother".

If my mum ever nagged him to do something, he said he needed to get "a too-it, a round one" (around to it)

As much use as a chocolate teapot

If you're looking a bit poorly "You're bit peely-wahlly"

He's from Cornwall but my Grandad was Scottish, so i think his expressions were a mix of the two places.