Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

Thigh look on it more as Quality Control.

(the thread killing I mean)

One of my dogs has rolled in something revolting and stinks and is sitting next to me on the chair. I should do something about this situation, but i can't be arsed. I think i have reached the pinnacle of lazyness. Do i get a prize? A peg for my nose would suffice. The thought of bathing her fills me with horror and afterwards i know she will still stink of fox poo and this will be combined with the stench of wet dog. Someone send a fuckboy to deal with this please.

Although if we were REALLY Quality Control on Mumsnet threads there'd certainly be some collars felt!

Dear wise ones, i am bored and lonely of being single, the kitten isn't quite the replacement i thought it would be, should i make my first ever venture into the world of online dating or take up baking bread?

The backlash has already begun Thigh , it's lucky we came back home at that point.

Agreed Caroline

Oh super thigh I shall have a gander!

dog I've read that ketchup does the trick for dog rolling mishaps, followed by a bath of course...sounds like a lot of work to me.

Mummy could you do both at the same time.

Get a breadmaker and while it bakes your bread for browse the interweb for your next hunk.

Maybe you can lure men in with the smell of baking bread.

You’re not trying to have sex with the kitten are you?

Backlash! Rumble!

It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings....

You're right there Caroline !! Shall we go over again and shout Figgghht like Harry Hill?

"Can't even reach their backs" ???

Wow! I'm going in!!

Dog could you roll in something too? Perhaps it's like when 2 people eat garlic apparently they can't smell each other.

May I bring my cat to the castle. She thinks she's a dog so would fit in?

Beaker of course, Lidocat is coming. We'll breed from them and live off the sale of kittens.

Tracy well MrsCat has some cats that look like dogs...! Some normal looking cats would make a nice change.

BastardCat v1.0. newer releases were basically shit; too licky and actually liked me. Even worse, wouldn't tear out throats of nemesis / enemies on demand. Unlike my beast.

So we'll be well stocked with cats!

At least cats are self cleaning, i've just washed smelly dog in the shower.

If smelly dog rolls in anything Nast in our castle grounds you can just send him down the chute to go swim in the sea!

He'll come back fresh as a daisy ... as long as we don't position the castle in Blackpool or he'll come out even worse than he went in!

you got called childish!! Never mind my dears, I expect Benny Hill suffered for his art and his fine mind was not appreciated at times.

So we have magnificent cats to cower before and obey

DT and that is why i need my chute to the sea. I also need a blow dryer along the return conveyer belt. I'm imagining an isolated stretch of blue/green water surrounding the castle, inaccessible by everything except the supplies boat, which will visit silently at night to replenish the basement supermarket. I'm happy to volunteer to line up all the tins so their labels are facing front. .

Dog I'll fight you to line up the tins. That's my expertise!

I've had my comment deleted now! Delighted to note they deleted the obnoxious comment that triggered my comment as well!