Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

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Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

Caroline nobody knows why we don't get banned! It's one of life's great mysteries like the sound of Thigh's bowels churning over.

Could it be that we are ... allowed ???

Nah actually, scratch that thought! I think they just still haven't noticed!

I often ponder this. We have advised people to kill their friends and family and extract their organs, we've called each other whores and slags.

I have an idea. How about we have a pretend row and I call someone a fucking cunt or something and then they report it and see if I get banned?

But nobody minds being s cunt here TTT in fact it's a desirable quality in Thighland!

For example

DT - stop giving crap advice TTT

TTT - Why should I you fucking wanker DT?

Yes DT but perhaps it is all in the reporting. Maybe nobody reports us so we don't get banned, that's what I think.

is it all clear?
I went to that thread and now need to roll around in Thighland where there is no judgement.

Nah that won't get us banned that just our usual behaviour!

We have to accept that MNHQ luffs us!

You bunch of cunts.

Thanks Dog

Yes DT, thighland is much more entertaining for MNHQ than- private or state?, Is he an arsehole?

Hi Dog - welcome back to the warm and loving land of no judgement.

Oooh TTT do you want me to report you??

I'll make it juicy and say that I'm hiding underneath my sequined slanket every night from the onslaught of filth

It's odd that the murdering slagz thread is the jolliest and kindest

Murder is good! I fucking knew it!

That reminds me:

Just got home from trudging round Shepherds Bush market. I forgot how long it was.
How can I best avoid doing a single, physical thing for the next 3 hours.
Thanking you

Yes Frown do it!

But what if they take all of thighland away?? Is it worth the risk?

Lola - Lie down, relax, piss over yourself if you need a wee.

lolaflores just lie comatose in the corner and pretend you're a pot plant

The Jo brand acid joke was fucking funny.

lola if anyone is preventing you from lying down, we will send over the murdering squad for you.

If it is children, tell them they live at Grandma's now and to stop bothering you and go home. otherwise thislido will capture them for you.

TTT I don't think I'd be able to keep a straight face!

It would be like 'well this poster with her cretinous crimes and sado-masochist tendencies and penchant for murder...' then I'd dissolve into giggles

Yes we've got a free pass from MN. Mexican wave around the web.

As long as you don't report me then Thighland lives. If you get banned just use another email and come back.

Just listening to Cyndi Laupers version of Drove All Night - I crept in your room to make love to you. Not in USA I hope, you'd get shot in the face.

Bang! Whoops, sorry love.

We're like a bunch of happy dogs who lick their balls, sniff arses and roll in shit. Disgusting but super funz.

Bless you all for offering to eliminate all the minor annoyances I live with. Currently I am face down on the floor making the carpet soggy with wee.
No one is appreciating it but quite frankly, fuck them. Mumsnet said it's ok, so that'll do for me if it's all the same. Oh. Dinner is cancelled too.
Cheers people

Yeah I'd scream my head off if I was interrupted in the important business of sleeping.

Anyway it's lunch. In the absence of a stiff G'n'T mussels with shallots/white wine and olive bread with camembert?

My child is eating my couch right now and I don't even care anymore. I have taken the quiet time to eat something and relax. Hopefully the couch is tasty enough to buy me another 10 minutes