Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

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Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

My ad. Just a general imperative

Let's face it, you're going to have to shit out the poison anyway. Coffee with sugar and a bun.

Then eyedrops and a Danish pastry

Wheres this fat thread I can't find it

Is BoJo's hair dyed?

I can't do links. Title in aibu is I sat next to a larger lady (fat woman) at the theatre.

I was was just going to say Proj arse troubles are inevitable now so get it done with.

You also need some salty snax like salt and vinegar crisps and coke, Do the coffee and bun first then next layer of snax is crisps and coke and you need ten dinners today as well.

Can’t be, his eyelashes are blonde.

Ooh crisps. I keep getting the meat shirt ad though and it’s making me queasy.

Correct DT food layering is important with hangovers. You'll have to work your way up to a pre-breakfast bacon sandwich. Then publicly have porridge at work and a small grape.

Thigh you got deleted because they're jealous of your wisdom and reported you, whereas here we thisters treasure every word and wish you would write a book of this shit!

More eyedrops.

I used to have a morning after shag kit in my handbag. Knickers, toothbrush, eyedrops, perfume, paracetamol - et voila! Straight to work clothed in disgust and yesterdays clothes.

I think of my fun facts re serial killers and remedial shags as daily treats for my srethren.

Sorry threthren. I thought this was a book! What the fuck have I been doing here?

M3 killed the fat thread, we're going to send you in whenever we want to Kill a thread from now on. Ramp up the faux earnest act.

No the fat thread rumbles on, maybe it will never die!

Thigh you are giving it oxygen and a life support system. If it's still knocking about by tomorrow I might join it and tell them all to stop going to the theatre and act out their own.

You're right DT I secretly agree it must be a nuisance to have a fatty spill into your seat. I find bad breath and BO (of which there's fucking loads around) more gagworthy.

I don’t want people to touch me, but there’s no need to be a dick about it

Hangover update: I kept the chocolates meant for the school tombola and am eating them in the car

Good grief, what have I missed? Fat thread? Had I known you were going in, thigh , I'd have been there to hold your coat.

I am doing a small living history project by trying to manage without my tablet (away being mended), it is tough because our PC is in a chilly room with a hard chair. I do prefer my internet browsing from the comfort of the sofa surrounded by tea and snax. Also Fuckboy sits here researching spark plugs and throttle cables for hours on end, so I have to leap in when he is out buying biscuits.

Have to check out the fatties now!

My biscuits were them Lotus ones. They’re nice.

I’ve brought my colouring things, anyone want to commission some shit artwork?

Still room on the Too Fat to Fly thread thigh if you think your card is marked on the theatre one...

fleas hmm, will see re the fatty flyers.

Not another fat thread? If it's still going by tomorrow i will go and tell them all to stop getting on planes and zoom around the garden with their arms outstretched instead.

The solutions are obvious to a fool!

I should be PM. I'd restore peace in this land and assassinate Trump with my fanny trick therefore restoring peace in the US too.

It would be a shame to leave such a rich thread hanging, that's all I'm saying.