Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

Going back through the thread..... Dangly did you escape from the nuthouse? That's a shame. All that crack and sticky toffee pudding, gone......

Had to be the correct mixture of crack v sticky toffee pudding in order not to get fat shamed on AIBU.

You should have carried a switchblade and sliced off her blubber if it touched you.

I haven't laughed so hard since I impersonated you and got megalomania.

So I have an ad whose strapline is

like my boobs, my confidence is sky high

What fucking inanity is this? My tits are pointy and misshapen after too much breastfeeding, and I'm not confident, I'm angry and demanding. And slightly drunk.

Were the boobs in the ad filled with helium?

What are they advertising?? This is mumsnet, not pornhub - our tits hang low by definition.

I'm off to view the fight. Am also slightly drunk so this should be fun.

I've just read the fat shaming thread and now have another pile from laughing.

The absolute no 1 post is

I once had a 16 year old African boy hold my leg for 2 hours on a plane

TL no one even reacted to the switchblade comment, they're weird outside Thighland.

I've just read the fat shaming thread and now have another pile from laughing.

The absolute no 1 post is

I once had a 16 year old African boy hold my leg for 2 hours on a plane

FFS! I stopped reading the thread because it was so depressing and now I’m going have to back! I only nipped in to see what was happening, then tidy the kitchen. Dammit

I am getting ads from some type of TittyTittyBangBang yoooneeq lingerie firm. And Hobbs.

Query: which is more offensive?

Ha S1n - same!

I’ve got a hell of a lot more time for tittybangbang than I have for Hobbs.

Johnny in the end I wanted to stay at the holiday camp/sanitarium but they were fed up with me, I could just tell by their passive aggressive eyebrows!

Anyway one morning I was disappointed to find myself back in my own bed! I reckon they sedated me with rohypnol in my rum and took me home!

I was dead easy to deal with as well! Some people just have no patience for the job!

I’m kind of torn between getting my blood up on the fat shaming thread and just pissing myself.

No - these were definitely NOT face peptides.....I mean they might have given you a new face...in the same way they might have given super powers to seagulls...and to be honest I never tried....but basically no...

Mind you the face peptides that claim to be face peptides also aren't. So who knows!

wait...am I missing fat shaming? Is it the theatre one?

Dammit JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff, I can’t find it! Did you just tell a porkie? narrows eyes

I once had a chat with some medium-wig from P&G and suggested that we might have some peptide design principles that could make their pretend face peptides actually clinically active....

They basically told me hell no! then we'd have to test them as if they were drugs - that'd be far too expensive - no we don't want that is actually effective.

To me this proved beyond all possible doubt the moral bankruptcy of the cosmetics industry - as if there was ever any question of it....

I’ve just been accused of being an anti Semite. My Jewish husband will be

S1naid it is on page 5, poster called RickJames, posted 20.17

Enjoy

M3 I knew it! I knew it was all lies. Still buy it though.

Are you not antisemitic, or are you a Labour party sleeper agent playing a veeery long game?

S1naid it is on page 5, poster called RickJames, posted 20.17

Enjoy

You star! elbows ProjectGainsborough out of the way and runs towards theatre

Well I was Theresa May for a bit. I suppose now I could be Jeremy Corbin.

I wonder if I should post a YouTube clip of springtime for hitler. I’ve always thought we should take a Mel Brooks approach to nazis.

danders back in That was so worth it. 😁