My advanced but exhausting daughter

[Kimmibastin]

I have known my daughter is different from an early age. She has insisted on holding her own bottle from 10 weeks, cut her first 2 teeth at 9 weeks....the list goes on. She is my 2nd born (my son is 3yrs 6mnths) Anyways she is now 20 months can count beyond 10, dresses and undresess herself, is toilet training and has an extremely wide vocab and understanding. I believe she is gifted. I have never felt this way about my son as always felt he has developed within the normal milestones but my daughter is just something different! Before u think im blowing her trumpet im not. I am a nursery teacher with 10+ years experience and know she is advanced. Tbh its a bloody pain in the arse! She doesn't sleep well,dosnt sit still and is very demanding.help!what shall I do?

My just turned 2 dd can sing every song from The Greatest Showman all the way through!

Note: she's not advanced, she's just brainwashed.

My DD taught herself Spanish from watching Dora

If she'd made her own bottle then I'd be impressed.

@PonderingPanda

Please don't make flippant jokes about SEN.

There's nothing the OP has said about her child which sounds SEN.

If you want to rinse her for her slightly obtuse post then go ahead but leave SEN out.

Ta

The attitude towards the OP here is really Mumsnet at its worst

^ This

Oh give over at your Mumsnet at its worst.

The OP came on to brag about her supposedly g&t child and has quite rightly been put in her place

I am amazed MN have let this thread stand tbh, there are some horrible posts here. More than one outset pointing out real or imagined transgressions in grammar and spelling .

You can tell someone that they are overthinking it all without “putting someone in their place”. Remember that there is a human being behind the screen and stop being such bitches.

Reporting the worst of the posts and might suggest MN pull the whole thread. It’s an absolute example of women banging up on another woman. Nice,

Oh no don’t take it down!!! Per lease, it’s made my day reading some of the posts. Seriously funny thread. Thanks op for making my day

It is so funny because every parent everywhere thinks their child is a genius, and do not remember the time they used to roll their eyes at other parents droning on about their children. Its funny isnt it. My male friend rang me the other day and said "oh wow my daughter said this (incredibly mundane comment) she is a genius she is going to save the world. I thought about the comment again. It was a very normal and unimpressive comment. I looked at him bemusedly

@smashamasha - no flippant remarks from me. I just speak from the experience of an SEN parent.

We are PROGRAMMED to think our dc are the best children that ever blessed the world with their godly presence.

The bad news is no one tells us this until we have made a tit of ourselves, but we know for the second, third and on going children.

The good news is that it wears off, pretty sharpish around ten years old when little genius has flunked his end of year exams for three years in a row, and has developed a passion for muffins rather than maths, and that extra French tuition did him no favours as he now can't speak English.

I will never forget the evening we were all gathered around to hear the angelic tones of my niece as she was preparing to audition for Xfactor, my SIL having told us for years that she was going to be famous and rich with her voice was just like that of an angel. She screeched out some unknown song that caused me to have tears in my eyes, and literally popping blood vessels with the effort of not laughing out loud, at the end there was only silence. A kind of stunned silence. Someone somewhere remembered to clap.

Needless to say two whole days were wasted by my SIL and niece in a long queues in London waiting to find out what we will all knew already.

A mothers love knows no bounds

Not every parent thinks their child is a genius at all. Many parents think their child is just bright, or even average. They may compare their child to what they and their siblings were like as children and think they are bright, but nothing exceptional. Parents may associate with people at a similar intellectual level and social class to them, and think the children they are in contact with are typical, when they may in fact be bright, and socioeconomically advantaged. Parents may not realise that their child is not typical until they start school with a more diverse group of children.

My grandmother used to say ‘there’s only one special baby in the world and every mother thinks she’s got it’.

I’m sure you have a very clever girl, OP, but just chill out a bit with her, you have nothing to prove. Just enjoy her, challenge her and do things that interest her. The rest will follow.

I actually agree that some (not all) posts here are nasty and malicious. You can tell OP she's overthinking (I think she probably is too) but you can do so without being so nasty. There's a strangely British trait of not being able to reference any positive quality - even on an anonymous forum without being a show off.

Mine rolled over for the first time @ 10 days.
At 2 weeks he was pushing himself up on his elbows.

Caused quite a stir at the breastfeeding group. The phn was fascinated.
He was rolling the house @3 months, crawling by 5 months and walking by 7 months.

He is just a normal average 5 year old who still doesn't sleep all night

SEN & gifted aren't mu tully exclusive

Your dd sounds lovely OP

Why is she exhausting? 
Because she's a toddler! All toddlers are exhausting.

She sounds lovely and bright though OP. I have a 2 year old who is gifted in not sleeping and naming characters from Thomas.

What should you do? Just let her get on with being a toddler which often means gifted or not, being exhausting.

Umm she’s reaching the average milestones quickly but that doesn’t mean gifted. Dc1 was talking fluently and I mean fluently by 1 - ‘ mummy it’s a nice day today it’s sunny’ etc they corrected the health visitor at their 2 yr checks when asked to pick a blue bead they said ‘there isn’t one which is what I might call blue but do you mean the turquoise one ?’ They knew all the primary spellings and 12 times table by year 2 Etc they are now at secondary school and sitting gcse x2 in year 8 and then another one next year. But they were clueless about emotional intelligences or social intelligence (friendships etc) so we concentrate on these areas as did the school. Sports ability is that of a gnat! All children have strengths and weaknesses. Encourage,love, support. And don’t worry about it until she’s at primary. Make sure you’re son isn’t feeling ‘non gifted’ encourage everything and she what grows

With the best will in the world, what you describe doesn't shout 'gifted' to me. Firstly, your example of cutting teeth at a slightly younger than average age is not an indicator of giftedness - if it were, there are many babies who would have had teeth sooner, rather than suffer the ordeal that is teething. Holding the bottle? Again, I think many babies di this, almost as a reflex action. Also, I do believe we tend to judge our children's abilities by comparing them to other children - either our own or those of family and friends. I definitely considered my DC1 to be completely average - I had no other children to compare them to amongst my friends and family. Then I got a letter when they were in year 4 requesting a meeting with Dh and me. Turned out they wanted my permission to have DC1 assessed by an ed psych because they needed help and advice as by year 4, school had exhausted pretty much all their strategies for highly intelligent children. Ed psych was blown away by dc1 - IQ in the top 0.1% and a desperation to learn work to match. Throughout school, teachers struggled to challenge dc1 as they were like a sponge when it came to soaking up information. Definitely gifted, amazing gcse results etc, excellent degree and doing very well in their chosen career. But to Dh and me, dc1 was just normal! Dc2, equally as intelligent, a completely different hold with different interests and abilities in different areas. Again, amazing exam results etc and also doing well in their chosen career.
I think you are assuming that a lively toddler means gifted. Well, dc1 was always very focussed and able to play quietly, making up their own games and activities, happy in their own company whereas dc2 always much preferred to be in company.
I would suggest talking, singing, playing - all the things you would do with any child. And don't assume that a gifted child will always ask lots of questions. The ed psych told me that an intelligent and inquisitive child asks ' why' questions and remembers the answers , whereas the gifted child will ask 'what if' questions, suggesting a possible answer for you to confirm or correct them.

Dd was late with all her milestones. Used to sit like a baby buddha with all her toys around her, except she cba to play with them. Didn't walk until she was about 2 years old when she got up and walked across the room at nursery. Didn't talk much either.

Nursery were concerned that she was developmentally delayed. Errrr nope. She is actually very able just absolutely fecking bone idle. Even now she drives her teachers absolutely crazy. That child is going to end up being either a master criminal or a CEO

Early development isn't the be all and end all OP. In quite a lot of ways it's as much of a curse as it is a blessing. Dont go all out trying to teach your toddler to read/do other educational activities/trying to advance them. Just let them be a toddler.

There's nothing wrong with being proud of your child's achievements - whether you feel they are advanced academically or more important (IMO) kind and pleasant people who are nice to be around.
What is wrong (IMO) is comparing one child with another. Children who come after the first often do things quicker -because they have a huge incentive to want to join in with their older sibling so they often crawl, walk, talk earlier. As a very small child did everything quicker than my siblings because I was the younget of 4 and was desperate to keep up, to be allowed to join in games, - by the time I was five it had all evened out - I am certainly not more intelligent or capable than my siblings in any way.

You have two children and they both will have thier gifts and weaknesses. What you do is support them both in their endeavours and interests. and don;t make abig deal out of things that are merely physical - bottle holding, teeth, toilet training - are all to do with physcial development which is individual - and as much connected with being advanced as for example being tall or blue eyed or dark haired, i.e not at all.

That said I'm sure your children are lovely, just give them plenty to stimulate and interest them so they can develop and learn, and give them experience of social situations so they learn to be thoughtful, kind and aware of the needs of others.

Early development isn't the be all and end all OP. In quite a lot of ways it's as much of a curse as it is a blessing.

Aside fron the fact that the OP is clearly long gone, I think this is exactly why she posted, so hardly some enlightening insight?!

Sounds pretty average to me.

... the OP is clearly long gone,

Exactly, having made three posts in total...