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Original poster

My advanced but exhausting daughter

181 replies

Kimmibastin · 07/06/2019 03:38

I have known my daughter is different from an early age. She has insisted on holding her own bottle from 10 weeks, cut her first 2 teeth at 9 weeks....the list goes on. She is my 2nd born (my son is 3yrs 6mnths) Anyways she is now 20 months can count beyond 10, dresses and undresess herself, is toilet training and has an extremely wide vocab and understanding. I believe she is gifted. I have never felt this way about my son as always felt he has developed within the normal milestones but my daughter is just something different! Before u think im blowing her trumpet im not. I am a nursery teacher with 10+ years experience and know she is advanced. Tbh its a bloody pain in the arse! She doesn't sleep well,dosnt sit still and is very demanding.help!what shall I do?

OP posts:
HJWT · 07/06/2019 08:12

DC Uni Application
-I could hold my bottle before 3 months and dress myself before 2 years
😂😂😂

FamilyOfAliens · 07/06/2019 08:17

I don’t think it’s that people are denying giftedness is a thing.

It’s more that on threads like this the OP often comes across as unduly focused on the milestones that are reached early and losing focus on the absolute essentials - chatting, socialising and playing.

CookieDeal · 07/06/2019 08:19

Thing is, gifted or not aside - what's the actual issue? How is she exhausting you and what sort of help do you want? Are you looking for support to manage behaviour in some way?

Can you explain a bit more about her sleep and demanding behaviour? What is getting you down and what are you finding hard to manage?

She may well be gifted and this is why you are finding things tough, but tbh it's probably best to focus on the things you need support with.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Itsnotme123 · 07/06/2019 08:21

So sleep overs will consist of cauliflower soup and and games involving quantum physics :)

YeOldeTrout · 07/06/2019 08:22

Did you want sympathy for her being demanding (bad sleep, stubborn & bossy) or for her being clever?

Plenty of not-clever toddlers are very demanding; that's relatable. You can find support in real life I find pretty easily for bad sleep, stubborn & bossy.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 07/06/2019 08:25

crazyasafox I breastfed my kids, but it’s utterly disingenuous to say that posters weren’t insinuating they were better parents for having done so. It’s something you see often on MN.

I’m not angry at all Smile

Just thinking it’s sad to see so many people rushing to take the OP down a peg or two, including having a go at her spelling and grammar, just because she’s dared to be impressed by her child.

Amazing examples of tall poppy syndrome on this thread.

juneau · 07/06/2019 08:33

Since when was cutting teeth early a sign of a genius in the making?

She's 20 months - what exactly do you want us to recommend - that you sign her up for Mensa because she held her bottle at 3 months and is potty training before two?

Just take a deep breath OP. Your second DC is certainly more precocious than your first. Congratulations!

lorit · 07/06/2019 08:35

Living up to a bit of your username crazy.

Let's take away the malice (hah!) in the replies and they just turn into "I don't know, mine didn't use a bottle", so they're useless as an answer. Why post it?

SoyDora · 07/06/2019 08:37

Some posters might have been insinuating they were better parents for breastfeeding. It’s difficult to gauge intent from a few words on a screen. I certainly wasn’t, I was just stating I don’t know if she could hold a bottle at that age as she had never tried. I have no idea what the ‘normal’ age for holding a bottle/cup is but it sounds like the OP’s daughter may have good gross motor skills.

SoundsAboutRight · 07/06/2019 08:38

Not sure what you want from this thread OP. You are a nursery teacher with 10 years experience, why are you asking a load of random strangers on the internet? Surely you should know what to do?

I call troll humble bragging.

SoyDora · 07/06/2019 08:38

It may be ‘useless’ as an answer, but it was in direct response to this question posed by the OP...

So have all of your children held their bottles under 3months old?

Note her use of ‘all’, implying she was asking the question of everyone.

x2boys · 07/06/2019 08:40

Typical mumsnet, posters putting Op,s daughter,s abilities down whilst simultaneously, bragging about their own child abilities

SoyDora · 07/06/2019 08:41

Of course being ‘gifted’ is a thing, I’m not sure anyone is denying that? I’m just wondering what the things in the OP could be indicative of? They are predominantly physical/biological milestones.

thegreatcrestednewt · 07/06/2019 08:42

Lol! Dc have no control over the age at which they cut teeeth -that is not a sign of giftedness!!

She doesn't sleep well,dosnt sit still and is very demanding.help!what shall I do?

I'd forget about the giftedness and focus on the issues that are affecting your life. Sleep train her. Buy a parenting took - e.g. 123 Magic - and use the techniques in that. She will get less demanding as she gets older and casn amuse herself better.

sugartitz · 07/06/2019 08:44

I was one of the ones that mentioned that I wouldn't know what age my child held a bottle because they were breastfed. How the fuck anyone managed to infer that I (and other posters who did the same) were trying to come across as superior I have no idea. The OP mentioned holding bottles like that was a marker of intelligence and it was response to that. My 8 year old still
Pisses the bed every night - pretty sure if I thought I was a superior parent I would have left that fact out Hmm

Bluerussian · 07/06/2019 08:44

I thought you weren't supposed to let a baby hold their bottle and feed themselves (PS: in earlier post I referred to 10months, my mistake for not reading op properly). It was certainly the case when mine was a baby. They will certainly put their hands around it while feeding but that's not the same as holding it and feeding.

GreenTulips · 07/06/2019 08:52

I once read that parents who have a boy first followed by a girl will often, by comparison, tend to think of the daughter as more advanced than their brother as statistics show that girls often hit milestones sooner.

Interesting! I had B/G twins - B crawled and walked early, could climb the stairs and slide at 7 months - G didn’t walk til 18 months so quite late by comparison.

Guess who’s doing better (by miles) at school?

IsThisValidEnough · 07/06/2019 09:05

With respect, I think everything that you describe (minus the teeth) shows she is more independent than most rather than gifted. They are mostly physical things (the counting and vocabulary I have seen a huge range with). You clearly have a child who is very determined and likes to do things herself. This is great! It doesn't mean she is gifted but of course you should just encourage her.

You are a nursery teacher...what would you advise parents to do? You know the foundation curriculum so why don't you start doing elements of it with her? Holding a pencil, words, reading etc. If you think she is able at 2years old then the curriculum you know at 5years will be challenging enough.

Madnessonestepbeyond · 07/06/2019 09:06

Re the sleep thing.

I understood it that some children process their learning at night so will often have disrupted sleep for many years.

I am clinging on to that fact when dc wakes up at 2am agaib.... and then at 4.30/5am wide awake and raring to go!

cestlavielife · 07/06/2019 09:10

My dd got her first tooth at 18 months.
She s top of the class.
Since when did cutting teeth have anything to do with anything?

kaytee87 · 07/06/2019 09:11

She sounds like a normal (lovely) little girl. Girls tend to be a bit faster than boys at that age.
I'm not sure why cutting a tooth early and her not sitting still now would be linked tbh.
If she has good understanding see it she'll sit to do a jigsaw, draw etc.

freshstartnewme · 07/06/2019 09:16

She doesn't sleep well,dosnt sit still and is very demanding.help!what shall I do?

Well there isn't much you can do. This is what toddlers are like.

Fulbe · 07/06/2019 09:26

I'm a bit concerned for your son. He is going to pick up on your sense that your DD is gifted and your urge to focus on her more. How do you think he's going to feel as he develops? And how is she going to feel with such high expectations of her? For goodness' sake, your children will be labelled enough as they go through the education system, they don't need you to do it too.

Lovely that you're proud of her achievements (a humble brag isn't needed to convey that btw); but be proud of both of them. Try not to be discriminatory because you feel one deserves/requires more attention than the other. Not easy to do but try. Diligence has much more of an impact on future success than IQ anyway.

Also worth considering that maybe with your second you're getting things right more, as you're more experienced with it all now. That obviously will reflect in her development.

Statistically, if neither you nor their dad has a high IQ, it's less likely that either of your kids will. Sounds harsh but might be worth considering accepting at this stage, rather than pushing the poor little girl constantly.

Pinkvoid · 07/06/2019 09:26

My brother was ‘advanced’ as a baby and toddler, he’s now 21 and not very bright at all Grin. I was a lazy baby/toddler but have a first in English literature so fairly smart.

Your toddler most likely is not gifted, sorry to burst that bubble.

BlueJag · 07/06/2019 09:29

I was in some ways like that. I was advance for my age. Very independent according to my Mum she thought I was going to be a genius.
I slowed down later on. I developed normally as years went by. I'm still bright but no genius unfortunately.
It's a wait an see how she develops. She may indeed be a very clever girl.