My advanced but exhausting daughter

[Kimmibastin]

I have known my daughter is different from an early age. She has insisted on holding her own bottle from 10 weeks, cut her first 2 teeth at 9 weeks....the list goes on. She is my 2nd born (my son is 3yrs 6mnths) Anyways she is now 20 months can count beyond 10, dresses and undresess herself, is toilet training and has an extremely wide vocab and understanding. I believe she is gifted. I have never felt this way about my son as always felt he has developed within the normal milestones but my daughter is just something different! Before u think im blowing her trumpet im not. I am a nursery teacher with 10+ years experience and know she is advanced. Tbh its a bloody pain in the arse! She doesn't sleep well,dosnt sit still and is very demanding.help!what shall I do?

@Kimmibastin

I once read that parents who have a boy first followed by a girl will often, by comparison, tend to think of the daughter as more advanced than their brother as statistics show that girls often hit milestones sooner. The most advanced kids in my dc's reception classes were almost all girls.

My dc went to a nursery attached to a university so used by many of the academic staff and there is evidence that genetics/academic level of achievement of the parents is a factor in the potential of a child. Lots of pre-schooolers there were reading and writing before starting school and some of the conversations were sweetly illuminating as to the sorts of things they were being exposed to/discussed with them at home.

It wasn't until the dc started school when they were back in a more realistic cross section of the nation did their advanced level stand out and inevitably many were labelled G &T.

I'd say there's no signs yet of your dd being advanced except by comparison with her brother and even then it may just be physical ability rather than academic . You'll know when she starts school where she stands compared to others and until then enjoy the time if you can. My nephew was similar as a child and school still despair of his ability to sit still and follow instructions/focus, they're currently awaiting the results of an assessment as to whether he has additional needs (his parents suspect ADHD).

@JM22 can you google what 'paragraphs' are?

OP, your child is not gifted, they are a normal toddler, and as some posters have said, what is happening is all fairly normal. As you (allegedly) work in a nursery I'd have thought you would know all this.

And as for the people accusing a few posters of having 'a dig' by saying their child didn't hold a bottle at 10 weeks old as they were breastfed til they were a year old... WTF is so wrong with them saying that?

Talk about projecting your insecurities! Jeeeeeez

Love these threads.
People will tell you that it will even out as she gets older. That she’s not a child genius, that YABU etc...etc...

My dd was very advance, talked at 8 months but was behind with motor skills (though could hold a bottle from a early age, she was a late walker). For us it continued through school, she’s always been ahead academically. She’s now 15 and working towards level 9’s in GCSE (A*’s), she’s apparently in the top 5% of the country in several subjects. My dd is diagnosed with Aspergers and suspected hyperlexia (no diagnosed in uk), the last 15 years have not been easy, she suffers with anxiety, she struggles to make friends and she’s a target for bullies ,being bright isn’t always a good thing.

CRINGING at all the smug, superior arsedom on this thread.

Particularly, as noted by pp, those who breastfed their gifted children. Oh, how I wish I was more like you!

OP. I think on mumsnet, people REALLY enjoy saying things they’d be far too polite to say in real life.

Your daughter sounds fab. I’m jealous as mine certainly didn’t toilet train early, and getting my nearly-seven-year old dressed can still be a chore.

AND, they’re not gifted, either!

You do what should be done with any child which is to ensure they fulfil their potential and develop wide interests and an open mind.

You read to them, do puzzles with them, skip and play catch, teach counting and colours, play them music, exvite with textures, colours, fresh air, flowers, trees. Introduce them to literature, poetry, art and science.

Collect pebbles, conkers, feel rain and sun and have a bloody good time.

Nature or nurture? Dunno. DH has a brain the size of a planet, I hated school. But I loved all the above and read them the odyssey and the iliad when they were babies.

Both Oxbridge. Their father's brain and my nurture or both combined? or their v expensive education but they went to selective independents.

Who knows - just enjoy her op. The key is to be well educated rather than over qualified.

She sounds like DD1 was (apart from the teeth - DD1 got hers quite late, and as a result seems to be losing her baby teeth quite late much to her utter indignation compared to her peers) - honestly... she was very ahead when she started nursery and reception and this year (in year 2) the gap's narrowed fairly dramatically and yes, she's still one of the top of the class academically but she's in a cluster of about 3 or 4 of them and they're all pretty much similar in terms of ability. (I'm in the class a lot and a teacher myself so I've got a fairly clear picture of where the ability curve generally sits for kids of that age - before the usual pedants start)

She still doesn't sit still or shut up - but now she'll get herself engrossed in a book for a good few hours.

She's very intelligent, very very articulate (I remember the manager of the local children's centre used to stop and just listen in amazement at the things she'd come out with as her language was so good so early) but she's not exceptional... and the language thing is a double edged sword as she even talks in her sleep and you go to bed feeling physically bludgeoned by the English language (and before any parents take offence at me complaining about it - my other child has verbal dyspraxia and severe speech problems so I do get how it feels from the other side as well).

Crazy, nah, I don't have children, no insecurities from me. The breastfeeding comments are 100% smug funny digs about "I didn't use a bottle".

Mine could hold his own bottle and walked at 8 months. Rolling at 11 weeks. It's just one of those things. I don't think he's gifted, I don't think any of the things you've pointed out are gifted?

My DD could count long before she could walk. I remember her sitting at a baby group with a pile of blocks in front of her, counting them and stacking them up, the other mums agog at this. She’s eleven now, reasonably bright but nothing out of the ordinary, and her least favourite subject at school is maths.

I am munching on early morning popcorn reading this thread.

Op I have only one question, why on earth do you think anyone cares?

All children are 'exhausting' at that age, it is part and parcel of the fun no, and a stealth boast about your gifted child, and lets be fair is all it is.

I hope you are not walking around spouting this out in real life, as you are really setting yourselves up to be very embarrassed later in life (example my 'gifted' genius brother got 6 d's and one e at GCSE) Do yourself a favour, keep your opinions to yourself (and close family) and wait and see how it all pans out in the longer term. If she is indeed a gifted child there will be no need to tell anyone, trust me, at school every parent and teacher will already know! And your child may not like the attention it brings.

Crazy the OP specifically asked whether other people’s children held a bottle so early. People were saying no they didn’t, as they were BF. It’s just a factual answer to a question posed by the OP.
I’m not smug about breastfeeding, I bloody hated it and stopped as soon as mine would take a bottle (although that was never in the case of DD2). Factually, however, she didn’t hold a bottle at 3 months as she didn’t have a bottle.

I don't think holding a bottle at ten months is a particular sign of being advanced. Most don't have a bottle at that and are drinking from a cup!

Speaking early and having a good vocabulary so young is more of a sign but if you talk to her quite a lot, it will stimulate her and that can only be good.

I'm sorry she is being a bit difficult. She obviously needs more to interest and occupy her. I hope she plays with other children sometimes, that helps. Will improve her social skills which is important before she starts school or nursery.

All the things you mentioned (bar the teeth) are physical development, not mental acuity.

When she is doing quadratic equations at 6 then you can get excited.

One of mine had neck control from birth, teeth at 12 weeks, crawled at 5 months, walked at 7 months. Talked in sentences and could hold a conversation at 18 months.
He's a perfectly normal, reasonably intelligent adult (but still has the gift of the gab )

Ignore the dicks on here OP. Neither of my children are gifted so I'm not sure whether I have much advice. All I would say is go with the flow and enjoy your daughter. She is who she is. I don't think you need to 'do' anything as such. Just follow her lead I would say.

Why does everyone call their daughter "darling daughter" on here? It is like something out of pride and prejudice

@TheBrockmans
If it is any help the early eater has continued to be good with cutlery

That made me laugh 😂😁

.

I don't think holding a bottle at ten months is a particular sign of being advanced. Most don't have a bottle at that and are drinking from a cup!

The OP said 10 weeks.

Has the OP been back at all to her thread?

My son was born with 2 teeth, had a reading age of 12 by the time he was 6 and an IQ in the top 1% by age 8. He was diagnosed with ASD at age 9 and is now 22 and on course to get a 2:2 degree in his final year of a vocational degree.

I guess they're all different.

2 of my boys were dry during the day by 20 month, and they certainly aren't academically unusual! A brother, who is more academic, took much longer and was closer to 3. I'm not sure that really means anything other than physically they have better bladder control or whatever.

Please dont set your son up for a lifetime of feeling left out and resentful by constantly telling him how much better his sister is.

Yes OP - your daughter has met these milestones earlier than many. As PP have said - keep her stimulated and interested. Especially - LOTS of physical exercise!

enjoy playing with your child and making her childhood fun.

This.

Follow up things she's interested in but basically just let her have fun.

No one on here will ever admit that something your child has done is impressive op. I remember years ago coming on to ask about my ds who had taught himself to read and was working on writing aged 3.
I was evidently either making it up or all their children had done more. Turns out my ds probably has hyperlexia and hypercalculia. These conditions can appear on the autism spectrum ( I have two other children with ASD)

So well done to your dd you won't get anything helpful on here though so look elsewhere for advice

@Babayaggatheboneylegged

CRINGING at all the smug, superior arsedom on this thread.

Particularly, as noted by pp, those who breastfed their gifted children. Oh, how I wish I was more like you!

I think on mumsnet, people REALLY enjoy saying things they’d be far too polite to say in real life.

WOW, you got it bad girl! Have a wheelbarrow to help you carry that massive chip on your shoulder!!! You sound massively insecure and very angry! Why are so angry and upset that other mums breast fed their babies, and are mentioning it on here?

Like many others I would have NO issue with mentioning - in real life- that I breastfed my children. Why WOULD I? If others didn't, and they are insecure about it, that's not my fault. Should women never talk about it to other women, in case they BOTTLE fed their kids? Jeeez!

As a few posters have said, the OP specifically mentioned her baby holding a bottle at 10 weeks, so people were responding to that.

You need to get help with your issues - you sound furious!