What's the worst way you've woken up

[Thisnamechanger]

DP and me spent pretty much all of yesterday exercising so am feeling very lazy this morning. DP went back out at 7 to do more exercise mad and brought me a coffee and nextdoors cat (she basically lives in our house as she doesn't like their dogs and is generally quite sweet although she sometimes shits where she ought not to

So me a DNNCat we're snuggled up and snoozing when she leaps up, making no attempt to move, and starts making a noise like a motorboat starting up and arching her back grumpily.

Anyway there's now vomit everywhere but at least I'm awake. Actually I nearly sicked up on the cat sick because other people's/species vomit makes me retch.

GOOD MORNING!

nice!

As was the bed, pillows and my face.....

DOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That might be the most horrible thing I've ever heard

When I was a child I shared a room with my sister. Woke up once to her screaming as the cat had deposited a decapitated bird on her pillow...

We never did find the head...

dd3 is 14 now. I've forgiven her!

Bleurgh! Rather you than me OP! Although I'm fine with our DDog when she's sick. Must be a 'your own kids' type thing 😁

Worst wake up I ever got was when I was at Download festival a few years back and it rained solidly for pretty much the entire weekend. I woke up to find my airbed floating in a puddle because one of my genius mates had removed two of my pegs for his own tent! Apparently he didn't think they'd be missed!

I was awake and soaking at 5am and there was no way to dry anything!

Thankfully I was young enough to simply crack open a can of cider and not care too much 😄

Cats are disgusting sicky murderers. If she weren't so cute I'd ban her from the house.

Waking up to a child who has projectile vomited all over themselves and their entire bedroom is never fun. Waking up to a toddler who has pulled a shitty nappy off in their cot and proceeded to quietly smear the shit all over the cot and walls, also not fun. Waking up to a baby who has shit all up their back, again not fun.

Parenting is great.

proceeded to quietly smear the shit all over the cot and walls

What goes through their tiny minds?!

Once I made the extreme mistake of not leaping out of bed the second my Dcat wanted her breakfast (I was asleep) so she weed on me to wake me up 😨she no longer sleeps in our room!

Not me but DH was woken up by our cat weeing on him, on getting up he realised the cat must have pooed on him first. This was the morning after we brought DS1 home, evidently the 🐈 blamed DH for the baby as he has always been devoted to me!

so she weed on me to wake me up

Hahaha she could have just cutely bopped you with her paw like a YouTube cat....but nope!

You know what's odd ... As I sleep nude and there was no time to put on clothes, running downstairs and chucking her out wouldn't have worked without scaring the housemates but the ensuite with open door is two paces away!! I could have held her over the loo or put the in the shower and rinsed it away afterwards. Instead I just sat there wailing as she calmly covered the floor in catvom.
Shouldawouldacoulda!

Cat sneezed wetly and loudly in my face.

😁 cats are definitely coming up as worst offenders!!

On a bench in Athens with an American Airforce Pilot
Could have been very dangerous but luckily he was an absolute gentleman and got me back to my hotel safely, where my friends were freaking out and on the verge of calling the police/my Mum

Absolute worst was in my backpacking days. I was staying in what can best be described as a party hostel in Sydney. Needing to save money, I'd opted for a dorm with no less than 32 people in it, and a door that was permanently propped open.

Unfortunately at about 4am one morning someone walked in and let off a powder fire extinguisher. I woke up partly because I was choking on what I immediately assumed to be smoke (but later turned out to be powder), the fire alarm went off, the whole place was evacuated and I spent an hour stood outside on one of Sydney's main roads in my PJs while the firefighters (automatically called when the fire alarm went off) checked the building.

By comparison, being woken by a bloke in the next bed shagging a girl I knew was working as a stripper was quite pleasant...

A phone call from my son who'd found his father dead. I'll take the cat sick any day.

By a massive earthquake in 1985 in Mexico.

Haha I am another one who has been woken by the cat pissing on me I’m the one who feeds them. We had fairly recently added a second cat to the family and he was very keen to establish his role as top cat and demonstrate ownership of me, the ‘boss’ of the house.

Fortunately with help from the vet and a few changes at home he’s better behaved now, the little shit

My phone ringing. It was my boss calling to see where I was. I'd completely slept through my alarm. It was mortifying

It's impossible to choose out of the many horrendous ways I've been woken over the years.

Scariest wake up was DS in the middle of the night appearing at the side of my bed with blue lips, unable to breathe having a croup attack.
Many many nights woken up to projectile vomiting when he was a baby with severe GERD, I'm talking 6 feet projectile, up the walls etc, think exorcist
Hourly wakening for months and months on end due to afforementioned GERD
Years on call being woken minutes after falling asleep
Then there was the time I stepped out of bed onto a giant slug in my bare feet
The cat is kept in at night to avoid the decapitated bird scenario, doesn't stop her leaving slimy furballs in the hallway though .

Woken by a car crashing into a tree outside my house in the early hours of the morning! That was a rude awakening, fortunately the driver was ok but shaken up, as were we!

Waking up to a fire alarm in a hotel in the middle of the night. Fortunately I had some sort of halfway decent night attire on and shoes handy, so standing out in the cold car park for half an hour wasn't as bad as it was for some others. It wasn't a fire thankfully, just someone's shower set it off.

Tossing and turning and coughing and then woken by a Fireman and led outside to a gathering of people also in their night clothes!

Wasn’t actually a fire, a smouldering tea towel left on an eye level grill had filled my friends mothers flat with smoke and had alerted neighbours.

My friend and I had been to a disco (1982) and had gone back to her mothers flat as it was near the railway station and we made ourselves some toast on the eye level grill but left a tea towel hanging over it.

The amount of smoke was incredible and most of the kitchen was completely blacked out!

We were forgiven!

You know it’s going to be a bad week at work when ddog 🤮 all over your bed at 5am on a Monday morning.