Today I said the wankiest thing ever.

[LadyOfTheCanyon]

Cutting some cellophane into a circle at work while I customer watched
"that's pretty nifty!" She said " How do you know how to do that?
" Oh, it's the same principle as making a Cartouche for sweating celeriac!" I said cheerfully.

I fear my WC forebears are spinning in their graves. What's the wankiest thing you've ever said?

Typing error - way before autocorrect. In a typing exam I weirdly got 'fucksack' (should have been rucksack.

Autocorrect
My son sent a message saying he would be with me after he finished his 'arab and spawn' sandwich crab and prawn

LassOfFyviesee, because it is a crap champagne!

It may or may not be crap champagne but it would have been far more crap of me to have said that to a group of people who aren't champagne drinkers, for whom it was a treat and who were enjoying it.

My BF in university used to explain how he “enjoyed garage (pronounced as Farage) more when it was underground!!!” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

@piefacedClique haha haha haha!

OP I absolutely LOVE that you managed to derail your own thread with your boil in the vag.

Bloody brilliant.

Cheesenpickles
Earl of the Earth is a pretty good typo too. Imo there is a certain resonance to Earl of the Earth
I didn't spit my wine out, or shake and wake the baby, my DH is in another country so he's not in the least bit bemused

We lived in Windsor! Hardly The Mecca of Garage 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The problem, as I see it, with 'boil in the vag' are those horribly sharp corners on the vacuum sealed packaging.
We were on a ferry and I had taken all the fresh food left in the house to make a bit of a picnic on the crossing, one of the tupperwares had sliced melon in it, my DS aged about 8 loudly exclaimed 'Do we have no parma ham?'

Had a crappy evening - ‘boil in the vag’ made me laugh so much 😂 thanks really needed that

Sidge

DD3 announces very clearly in a beautifully enunciated RP accent “Mummy please can we get blinis, I do love them so!”

Oh no! I'm pretty sure I remember someone making a post about overhearing a child asking for blinis on mumsnet a good while back. Wonder if you were inadvertently MN famous.

Boil in the vag

I once went into the local butchers, he commented that he hadn't noticed me come in. I have no idea why, but I replied that I had come in 'commando style'

Sidled back out of the door with my pound of mince rather quickly...

Just woken my DH up laughing out loud at boil in the vag curry!!🌶😂

Boil in the vag curries!

Just as well you use a cartouche for sweating your celeriac ... or is that a euphemism?

DD3 came downstairs in my dear, if untidy friend’s house and loudly stage whispered “Mummy, upstairs looks like a bomb’s exploded!”

Better than pineapple 😂😂

a boil on the vag - noun
boil -in -the -vag - adjective
boiling vag - gerund

all different things....wanky grammar thing to say lol

I love Earl of the Earth even more than Boil in the Vag.
I was stroking my chin, thinking interesting idiom that I haven't heard before, my these provincial rustics do have a most wonderful turn of phrase.

boil in the vag is brilliant

one of my wankiest when being asked whether my little kids wanted some squash to drink 'no thanks, they only drink water, milk or Earl Grey tea'

We have a classic. Thanks for the typo OP. Brilliant.

I caught myself complaining to a friend about the poor quality of the last garlic crusher I bought from Waitrose. I'm from a council house in the Central Belt of Scotland and he's a caretaker's son from Derbyshire.

Nothing to add save to say "boil in the vag curries" is gold - thank you for making a great evening just that little bit better! 😂😂😂😂

puppymouse I said something similar as a teen! WC background. First in my family to go to uni. Kept dropping fancy pants words into everyday broad Scots and getting raised eyebrows.

‘I inadvertently smashed a plate today.’

My mum looked at me like I had two heads.

Laughed lots at boil in the vag... then even harder at “have a good shite” and BarbarAnna’s boil in the vag’s continuing story.

😂😂

I also say Happy Birthday back to other people when they've said it to me . I have to try really hard not to. And I have said Happy Birthday as a greeting on New Years Eve. I don't know what's wrong with me .

I tried to read bits of this thread out to DH but I'd got hysterical and my voice went all weird and gurgly. It's really set me off. Boil in the vag, bank chaaaarrges, scooooone... 😂

This is the opposite of the MC posts. I used to live somewhere very Naice and my young DC grew up talking about brioche, artichokes, etc. But I realised I really didn't fit in with the naice Mums when we all went on a picnic. Their DC were all happily tucking into halloumi and olives, when I heard myself saying, "No, DS - finish your crisps and your Fanta, THEN you can have your chocolate."