Today I said the wankiest thing ever.

[LadyOfTheCanyon]

Cutting some cellophane into a circle at work while I customer watched
"that's pretty nifty!" She said " How do you know how to do that?
" Oh, it's the same principle as making a Cartouche for sweating celeriac!" I said cheerfully.

I fear my WC forebears are spinning in their graves. What's the wankiest thing you've ever said?

Boil in the vag! Considering how warm it was yesterday that's not exactly impossible!
However, I wouldn't eat that.

Mine would be something music related.
Oh yes I started going on about a synth called a PPG Wave 2.3 and certain songs that used them and musicians and I must have sounded incredulously wanky.

In Aldi in the Black Country I asked the shop assistant she knew whether their frozen squid was better than their fresh. She was and I was .

It also came out in what I can only describe as my mother’s telephone voice

I promise I’m not always such a wanker

Not trying to say anything about the Black Country btw (I live here and think it’s fab), just trying to demonstrate it wasn’t in the Home Counties or anywhere like that.

I once went into Iceland and asked for chicken lips yea I'm always saying wierd stuff lol

Ooo I love a telephone voice 🤣

I'm another one giggling at boil-in-the-vag +
Cockaleekie soup + toad-in-the-hole + a spotted dick pudding no doubt - maybe we should write a Mumsnet 'Boil In The Vag' cookbook, lol :)

My husband today corrected a NT volunteer on a fact. Unintentionally wanky but wanky all the same

Just making sure I’m documented on the epic ‘boil in the vag thread’! Yes I was there in like a I remember where I was when Kennedy was shot, when man walking on the moon etc etc

lady sorry but I actually lol at boil in the vag comment. Then couldn't stop giggling after. My 3 year old asked what I was laughing at.

I also have a friend that’s always saying wanky things so that EVERYONE knows she lives in a mahoosive country home with stables, a pool etc etc
Eg ‘oh DC was playing in our garden it’s such I nice view to watch her from the 8th bedroom, it also has a lovely view of our stables can and pool too’

LadyOfTheCanyon what on earth did you mean???

Boil in the vag curries!!! 😂😂😂😂
thankyou for cheering me up 😂😂

My parents used to live on a fairly main road, dad was on his was to the garden centre. As he got to the gate at the end of the garden my mum shouted ‘don’t forget my half a dozen penis’s’ realised what she’d said and slammed the door leaving him stunned on the pavement with an old lady giving him a strange look! (She meant Peonies).

She also called the local pub on fireworks night to find out what time it started. The pub was called the Dog and duck and they took ages to answer while she stood looking at the other adverts for local pubs in the Yellow pages. When they answered she shouted Cock and hung up! Still makes me laugh today!

As opposed to 'fish Friday' one of ds's friends has 'lobster Friday.' She's 10.

Love the idea of lobster Friday! We don’t have a particularly exotic diet, but the other day, DS2 (10) said, ‘mummy - I think I might be addicted to chorizo omelettes’

Boil in the vag-that's brilliant! And would also smart a little I think

In the USA so my question went right over my the assistants head but I was mortified as I cld see my husband in total hysterics behind her. So, looking st a nice handbag made by “frankie and Johny” I shouted loudly to the assistant “are these Frankie and JOHNY BAGS” made of leather 👀😂🤡

When I was a young girl, I read an awful lot of Georgette Heyer historical novels (think Jane Austin Lite). One of my friends was talking to me about a bloke she had met in our local seaside town under 18s drinking den and I said, "I don't think I know him, have we been introduced?"

We don't see each other much now as she live way oop north, but when we do see each other, she never fails to mention it!

@Liketoshop
I meant boil in the bag! They were a thing in the 70s. In fact they were the height of sophistication as I remember. I was also quite fond of what I called - as a six year old- "flat meat" which was meat you boiled in the bag and then put the separately boiled in its own bag gravy over.

My mum wasn't much of a cook...

You’ve just made my (dull) Sunday eve....boil in the vag......😂

@Heaviestdirtyestsoul
"No thank you, I'm not eating that greasy muck!" is fantastic.

Do masturbation jokes count? We men make them approx every 96 seconds

tis all!

I have to ask how often you need to type vag for it to become the default correction for bag???

Anyway, my wankiest moment was recent. My pal was telling me about the awful problem he has been having with rats. I sighed and said that I sympathised as I have a similarly dreadful problem with muntjac in the garden.

I have to ask how often you need to type vag for it to become the default correction for bag???

I presume the OP just missed the b and typed v which is the next key!