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Original poster

If you are pro choice...

356 replies

Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:31

Name changed for this

I really want to ask some questions for anyone happy to answer about feelings on abortion. I don’t feel like its an approachable subject I can talk about IRL as everyone I know is venomously pro choice and if I start to put forward a view which isn’t the same as theirs they get really quite aggressive and defensive.

So, if you are pro choice does that include late term abortions or would you feel differently about one at 6 weeks to one at 24 weeks? Also a lot of people say it’s the woman’s body so her choice - would that reason still stand for later abortions or would you think it would need to be a serious medical reason for baby/mum to justify this? Or does pro choice mean pro choice for you meaning any reason and any time within the legal limit is ok.

I hope I’ve worded this in a completely inoffensive way as I really don’t want to upset anyone it might affect.

OP posts:
ReganSomerset · 30/05/2019 19:33

I can answer this one! Pro choice on MN means as early as possible and as late as necessary, so at any point right up to birth.

ReganSomerset · 30/05/2019 19:36

FWIW, if forced to apply a label, I consider myself pro choice but I fully accept that, by MN definition, I am not.

beepbeeprichie · 30/05/2019 19:39

I think that someone who has carried a foetus to 24 weeks doesn’t turn round and want a termination just for the hell of it, and is exceptionally unlikely to be using a termination as a form of basic birth control, so yes- as early as possible and as late as necessary.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 30/05/2019 19:39

Pro choice means I don’t get to set the rules for other women. Honestly I’m troubled by the idea of abortion at any stage, wouldn’t have one myself, but I’m even more horrified by the idea of forced pregnancy.

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 30/05/2019 19:40

I think anyone considering an abortion at 24 weeks must be pretty desperate and so I would support that choice.

yummyscummymummy01 · 30/05/2019 19:40

I think being pro choice doesn't mean that you'd make the same decision for yourself. I don't think I could go through a late stage abortion (unless it was for medical reasons) but I would not force that view on another woman, who deserves to make her own choices about her body.

It's a hard one though, I agree.

FannyFeatures · 30/05/2019 19:41

I'm somewhere in the middle of pro-life and pro-choice, tbh most people I know in real life are the same.

I think that women should absolutely be free to make the decision to abort BUT I don't agree that they should be allowed past the stage of viability which I believe is a rare occurrence anyway.

At 24 weeks the foetus would be recognised as a human baby so I think it's murky waters. Again though I add a "but", where there is a risk of actual harm to the mother or baby in the latter stages then it should be acceptable to consider it although I don't think many women's would choose that route willingly anyway.

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 30/05/2019 19:42

any reason and any time within the legal limit is ok

this is what it means for me.

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 30/05/2019 19:43

I am totally pro choice. I'd never judge anyone else for what they choose to do. They can have an abortion for any reason at all, but I know that hardly anyone makes the decision lightly. I don't believe incest/rape should make any difference, as we are exceptionally bad a believing victims anyway. The thing about abortion really is that it has nothing to do with anyone else.

As a pp said, no one who has a late term
abortion is doing so because they just don't fancy having a baby any more. But if they were, it still wouldn't be my business.

Shadowboy · 30/05/2019 19:44

I very much consider myself pro choice because the thought of a forced pregnancy and birth is horrific.
I think anyone who feels the need to abort at a late stage at 24 weeks is likely to have to ‘give birth’ and so it will be pretty traumatic. They are likely to have a justified reason to get to that stage and then change their mind.

If it was me 16 weeks is probably my own personal limit as you can sex the child reasonably reliably at that stage.

Original poster
Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:45

Ok so one of the things that prompted this question is someone a friend knows booked in for abortion at 20 odd weeks as she split from her partner. This did not end up going ahead for various reasons but I personally felt that the reason was not strong enough to justify the abortion (not trying to upset/offend). So while I’m aware it’s not very common at all for women to do this I wondered if this circumstance was a grey area for some.

OP posts:
Historemix · 30/05/2019 19:45

As early as possible, as late as necessary, for every woman, for any reason.

stucknoue · 30/05/2019 19:45

Pro choice generally means that early abortions (up to around 12 weeks) are basically on demand and those in the second trimester are more likely due to be because of foetal abnormalities or health of the mother, after 24 weeks it's for strict medical reasons only, usually because the baby cannot survive outside of the womb (where it's the mothers health generally they deliver the baby early). Most people I know including me subscribe to the "as early as possible as late as needed" philosophy but with legal safeguards at 20/24 weeks

moofolk · 30/05/2019 19:46

Totally pro choice.

It's not a choice women make easily but to say she cannot abort (yes, at any stage) is to prioritise potential life over actual life.

Surfskatefamily · 30/05/2019 19:46

Im sortv in the middle on abortion. My limits are as follows:
Yes:
Conceived through rape
Health risks to mother
Incompatible with life baby /short or painful life expected
Also foetus at very early development i would be possibly ok with personal choices.
No:
Late term
Not even comfortable with the poor babies aborted near the cut off for none of the above reasons.

Personally there would have to be severe life threatening or limiting consequences for me to abort. I think aborting a baby anywhere near the 24week cut off we allow with no health reason is abhorent.

CakeNinja · 30/05/2019 19:46

Me being pro choice includes later abortions.
I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was 30 weeks gone. Although I happily went ahead with the pregnancy (admittedly there was no choice to abort), I was in a relationship and had family support.
I have a niece who was born at 27 weeks and is absolutely fine, is now 28 and pregnant with her own baby.
I feel strongly that unless it’s your baby and your decision, you have no right to decide if someone should be forced to continue a pregnancy or not. End of discussion (for me).
FWIW, I have also had a termination at 15 weeks through choice. Didn’t find out until I was 12 weeks (didn’t know it then, have PCOS and periods are very irregular/non existent and this was the quickest it could be done, I have zero regrets and would have another if I ended up pregnant again).

Biancadelrioisback · 30/05/2019 19:47

Pro choice to me means that I am in favour of the woman carrying the baby to have a choice. 'Choice' doesn't equal abortion. I don't 'support' abortion as in I'm not buzzing when people have one, I understand that it's not something people undertake lightly, I also understand that it can be the best decision a woman can make.
I am pro choice and I chose to go through with my unplanned pregnancy because I knew that I wanted the baby even though I didn't know he was coming. Other women don't feel that way so I cannot possibly comment on how it must feel to feel any other sort of way.

Surfskatefamily · 30/05/2019 19:47

Stucknoue said it perfectly...im rubbish at words

Original poster
Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:48

Fannyfeatures - I think this is what I was wondering - if many people are somewhere on the middle like me. On mumsnet a lot of people describe themselves as pro choice which to me means any reason any time but I can’t get my head around this and feel there must be more people who feel inbetween.

OP posts:
Iamgoingtobehonestwithyou · 30/05/2019 19:49

Exactly that. Be pro life, but be pro life over your own body. Being pro choice is about respecting other womens decisions to have or not have an abortion.

I don't have the stats to hand but I once read that the majority of abortions that take place at 24 weeks ( which is a relatively low amount of all abortions) are mainly for medical and health complication s with the foetus.

Enb76 · 30/05/2019 19:50

Having a child binds you to the other parent in all sorts of ways. I think if your friend thinks that that would not be good for her or equate to a good outcome for the potential child then that’s a perfectly good reason not to carry on with the pregnancy.

MissMary0fSweden · 30/05/2019 19:51

I’m pro choice. As late as necessary, for whatever reason.

SoyDora · 30/05/2019 19:51

I am completely pro choice. Any time, for any reason.
This doesn’t mean I personally would have a late term abortion. I wouldn’t. But that’s my decision to make about my own body. I have no right to make any decisions about other people’s bodies.

CakeNinja · 30/05/2019 19:53

Also, having seen your update, I think people considering late term abortions after splitting with a partner are very sensible - I know people so bitter after single handedly bringing up children in very bad situations (arguing and absolve relationships even post split) that is damaging to them because their mother “couldn’t face having an abortion”. And yet could face bringing them up in the midst of a bankrupt slanging match which lasts their entire childhood and adolescence - it’s a bloody option and a valid one. Protect yourself before you bring someone vulnerable into the world.
I considered donning a hard hat before posting but decided against it. For abortion to become an acceptable decision I think it’s important to state that I think it’s a legitimate choice for reasons other than immediate mental health - I also think in many cases it’s for the child’s wellbeing that they don’t become a pawn in a game.

Tunt · 30/05/2019 19:53

Pro choice. My job involves lots of terminations so sort of have to be.

I like the law as it is and I don’t think it should change. This is mostly practical/pragmatic reasons.