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Original poster

If you are pro choice...

356 replies

Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:31

Name changed for this

I really want to ask some questions for anyone happy to answer about feelings on abortion. I don’t feel like its an approachable subject I can talk about IRL as everyone I know is venomously pro choice and if I start to put forward a view which isn’t the same as theirs they get really quite aggressive and defensive.

So, if you are pro choice does that include late term abortions or would you feel differently about one at 6 weeks to one at 24 weeks? Also a lot of people say it’s the woman’s body so her choice - would that reason still stand for later abortions or would you think it would need to be a serious medical reason for baby/mum to justify this? Or does pro choice mean pro choice for you meaning any reason and any time within the legal limit is ok.

I hope I’ve worded this in a completely inoffensive way as I really don’t want to upset anyone it might affect.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 30/05/2019 19:54

I'm pro choice and whilst I don't think I could have an abortion as late as 24 weeks, I would defend the right of women to do so.

Outofinspiration · 30/05/2019 19:54

Or does pro choice mean pro choice for you meaning any reason and any time within the legal limit is ok.

Yes, that is what it means for me.

The alternative to being pro choice is being a forced birther, so there really is only one stance I can take.

Jeffwingerisagod · 30/05/2019 19:54

I consider myself pro choice. I wouldn't have an abortion myself and wouldn't go to it as a first option if (for example) my teen DD / other vulnerable person got pregnant unless she was already considering it. Being uncomfortable about abortions doesn't give me the right to stop other women having it as an option. I would also be very uncomfortable with an unwanted child being born and growing up in a family where their mum resented them even being born...

I am lucky in that I have never had an unexpected pregnancy or baby with a major birth defect or disability so have never had that choice to make. It would be easy for me to ignore the situation of those in a less fortunate situation and say "abortions make me upset and uncomfortable and women should just go through with pregnancies whatever the circumstances" but that would be extremely arrogant to think that I have the right to take choices away from them just because I think I would make a different decision

livin · 30/05/2019 19:55

I agree with PP. Nobody carries a baby to 24 weeks and decides to abort without serious consideration and dire circumstances, be they medical or life threatening for the baby or the mother.

I hate the thought of babies who could survive outside of the womb being terminated but part of being pro choice is knowing that the option is there for those late term abortions where they are necessary.

So me too, as soon as possible and as late as necessary.

Original poster
Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 19:57

For anyone saying they wouldn’t personally have one (late abortion) but believe in other people right to do so - what are your reasons for not personally wanting to?

Sorry if these questions seem probing I’m obviously only asking those who feel comfortable sharing.

OP posts:
hopeishere · 30/05/2019 19:57

The people who are saying as late as is necessary does that mean right up to 40 weeks?

Crushedvelvetcouch · 30/05/2019 19:58

I'm conflicted on the issue.
Over the years I have rationalised my stance as ideologically pro life but actually pro choice in practical terms.
I think that abortion is the murder of unborn children but that ultimately it is a necessary evil of our present society.

Wearywithteens · 30/05/2019 19:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

kaytee87 · 30/05/2019 19:59

Wrt your friend, I think not going through with a pregnancy when you've recently become single and don't want to be a single parent could be a very sensible decision.
There are lots of children brought into the world with absent fathers, not enough money and security and its always the woman (and child) that suffers for it. If a woman doesn't want to put herself into that position then more power to her.

WeedsAndMoss · 30/05/2019 20:01

I think simplifying it down in to those options isn't good. There are a huge number of reasons women have abortions!

DramaRamaLlama · 30/05/2019 20:02

As early as possible, as late as necessary, for every woman, for any reason

I absolutely agree with this.

kaytee87 · 30/05/2019 20:02

For anyone saying they wouldn’t personally have one (late abortion) but believe in other people right to do so - what are your reasons for not personally wanting to?

I can't say for definite as I never know what situation I could find myself in but I have a son now and started feeling him move at 16 weeks and bonding with him so the thought of it now makes me slightly queasy.
As I said, I entirely defend the right of other women to though, it's better for unwanted babies not to be born.

tisonlymeagain · 30/05/2019 20:04

Pro-choice for me means it's none of my business what other people do with their bodies, I support the right to choose.

It doesn't mean I would make the same decision. Saying that I've had an abortion at 12 weeks. Personally,
I don't think I could do it much past that if it wasn't for medical reasons.
That felt too late as it was.

slipperywhensparticus · 30/05/2019 20:05

Yes as early as possible as late as necessary however unpalatable that is to me personally I would never judge any one elses reasons just because I couldn't do it i believe I just haven't found myself in a situation that would call for an abortion and I should not have the rights to give a blanket no for everyone else

I'm pro choice it's just not been my personal choice in less waffle terms

ChoudeBruxelles · 30/05/2019 20:07

I think that women should be able to have them til around 23/24 weeks. The point at which a fetid become viable if it were to be born very very early. Some health conditions may not show until a 20 week scan so choice still needs to be available then.

SinkGirl · 30/05/2019 20:08

I know two women who’ve had late term abortions.

In both cases the babies were very much wanted, conceived deliberately. Both babies had conditions that meant they would die before or soon after birth.

Almost every late term abortion is done for this reason. That’s what you’re talking about when you’re talking about late term abortions. It’s an horrific process, not an easy option.

I support any law that prevents desperate people having dangerous back street abortions. The reason the date is as it is, is to allow for abortions to be arranged and carried out after the anomaly scan.

Soola · 30/05/2019 20:08

I’m mainly not pro choice so you are welcome to message me to discuss.

Rystall · 30/05/2019 20:09

Like @ReganSomerset I am pro choice IRL and with reference to anyone I know. But not by Mumsnet standards. I fully believe in the right to choose but I don’t agree with late term abortions. Once a foetus is viable / can survive without the mother, then I believe ‘other’ rights take precedence and I believe it has a fundamental right to life at that point. Although rare, abortions at 28/ 30 weeks plus cross a line for me ethically.

Passthecherrycoke · 30/05/2019 20:10

Well in theory I might have a late abortion but it’s unlikely as I can support a baby, am
Old, of normal intellect, and this far no serious mental or physical illness. It would be different if I were not.

I don’t believe in dictating what a woman can do with her body. Be she 8 weeks or 38 weeks pregnant.

To turn it around OP- are you ok with medical abortion to term? Because the baby has abnormalities, wont develope etc but still has a heartbeat that technically needs intervention to stop?

DramaRamaLlama · 30/05/2019 20:13

For anyone saying they wouldn’t personally have one (late abortion) but believe in other people right to do so - what are your reasons for not personally wanting to?

I spent 20 (reproductive) years thinking not so much that I wouldn't want to have a later term abortion but that I'd never need one: I'm not vulnerable, in a precarious financial position, being abused or on my own etc

But then I did need one. I didn't want one but my DS has a condition incompatible with life. I had other DC and was concerned that I might go into prem labour whilst caring for them alone. That it would be a terrifying and dangerous situation for us all.

I can understand that the same feelings might apply if you were in a violent relationship or your pregnancy was as a result of rape.

Bluestitch · 30/05/2019 20:15

I'm pro choice and reasonably happy with the law as it currently stands, although I don't think there should be a blanket cut off of 24 weeks for non medical reasons. I've read a fair bit about some of the reasons women seek abortions for so called 'social reasons' at later stages. They are often women living in difficult or chaotic circumstances, with MH issues or addictions, some children already in care etc. I see no justification for forcing women in those kinds of situations to continue a pregnancy to term because she presented at a clinic at 24+2 for example. It seems barbaric to me.

Rystall · 30/05/2019 20:18

Genuine question and not trying to be goady.........if a much wanted baby has a condition which means it won’t survive for long after birth - and a late term abortion, as I understand it ( and I’m open to correction) involves effectively giving birth- what are the reasons for not progressing say for a further 8-10 weeks and just give birth?
It’s a horrible situation, the baby will not survive anyway but you’re not adding an abortion into the mix.

I hope that’s not insensitive. It’s a genuine question. I feel desperately sorry for anyone in this situation

HouseName · 30/05/2019 20:19

but I personally felt that the reason was not strong enough to justify the abortion (not trying to upset/offend).

But it wasn't your body, or pregnancy, or life. Therefore not your business or any requirement for you to be able to justify it. Just leave other women to worry about their own bodies and choices and you concentrate on yours.

Original poster
Doubledoubledenim · 30/05/2019 20:19

passthecherrycoke - I don’t know is the honest answer. It’s a subject I have a really hard time forming an opinion on and I find it really difficult to answer unless it’s a very specific circumstance given. I think in the circumstance you have stated I would say yes but again I’m not 100%.

OP posts:
pointythings · 30/05/2019 20:19

I'm pro choice. I believe it's every woman's choice to make and it isn't for me to judge. I'm past childbearing age now but I've always felt like that.

A good friend of mine had a late term abortion after finding out her baby had a condition incompatible with life. I would object to any attempt at legislation that would mean women like her having to jump through more hoops than she already had to.